Well, my DD is an only and I think that she does have a different life experience than someone with siblings and she will have different strengths and weaknesses because of that life experience. Those are neither good nor bad, just facts. Kids who come from large families will have different strengths than kids who only have one sibling or perhaps a twin
* Pampered and spoiled. * Feels incompetent because adults are more capable. * Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special. * Self-centered. * Relies on service from others rather than own efforts * Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way. * May refuse to cooperate. * Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.
I agree with most except the second & third comments. I find she tends to think of herself as more of an adult, rather than feel incompetent toward them. She is quite competent, and knows it, and would prefer to be around those older than her than younger than her. Also, although she may be the center of attention at home, she's not elsewhere and prefers it that way--she does NOT like to be the center of attention.
The rest, unfortunately, I have to agree with a lot of the comments. She is self-centered, she does tend to rely on service from others or at least expect it, and she can definitely refuse to cooperate more times than not. "Divide & conquer", oh yeah, she tries to play us constantly.
How are your kids different from each other? There aren't a lot of differences between mine, which makes it both easy AND hard to deal with! He's the moody one, easy to discourage and though highly intellegent, he's lazy. She is more determined, prone to angry outbursts and while very smart...is much more likely to bite the bullet and work overtime to be an overachiever.
What strengths do they bring to the table? Both of mine have the desire and determination to lead the world and neither seem to understand that the world doesn't WANT to be led! HAHA!!! They are both very analytical and systematic with their reasoning, they don't make rash decisions and tend to over-plan and organize everything.
Are they physically the same. Yes, Medium height, skinny, brown hair. She has hazel eyes, he has brown. They didn't resemble each other at all for years and he tried to convince her we "found" her for several years. Now you can tell they're related!
What are you thoughts on birth order and do you think it holds some merit in how a child behaves? I can agree with it, it's not 100% accurate but pretty darn close! I think a child's personality is partiall formed by their birth order but it's also determined by their 'inner' self as well!
Nick: First Child Is only child for period of time; used to being center of attention. Absolutely, unfortunately he STILL thinks he should constantly be the center of attention! LOL!
Believes must gain and hold superiority over other children. Heck yeah...
Being right, controlling often important. Uses more passive-aggressive methods to control
May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved and neglected. Not really, he actually really enjoyed her when she was younger!
Strives to keep or regain parents' attention through conformity. If this failed, chooses to misbehave. Yes, he's easy to direct, usually can be counted on to do what's asked. Is also prone to misbehave for negative attention if he thinks he's not getting enough positive attention.
May develop competent, responsible behavior or become very discouraged. Very easily discouraged but does have a solid history of being responsible
Sometime strives to protect and help others. He's the first to step up to a bully (if it's not HIM doing it) when there are smaller kids around.
Strives to please. Much of the time
Mackenzie Second Child Never has parents' undivided attention. We work on this!
Always has sibling ahead who's more advanced. She never played that game..she spoke very early and has been competitive with him ever since! (2.9 years apart in age)
Acts as if in race, trying to catch up or overtake first child. If first child is "good," second may become "bad." Develops abilities first child doesn't exhibit. If first child successful, may feel uncertain of self and abilities. We have made sure from day one to never label one BAD or GOOD. She's very competitive so we try to engage them in different activities to deter this.
May be rebel. Hmm..if you've read my clothing rants about her this year, you can tell she's definitely rebelling in THIS area! HAHA!!! She doesn't like us being angry with her so we use that to our advantage.
Often doesn't like position. She's quite clear that she'll never be considered "second" at anything! LOL!
Feels "squeezed" if third child is born. We have two small dogs and I can see by her behaviors to them that I would be HARD if we brough another child home.
May push down other siblings. She does this with the dogs, they're like kids...carryied around and lap sitters..she gets jealous and can be too aggressive towards them!
Alex mostly fits the profile of the first child, but Rachel and Matthew don't really fit the profiles for them . They both more closely fit the profiles of the only child, which is interesting
Connor (13) is an only child and he doesn't fit the typical characteristics at all. To be honest he doesn't fit any category based upon the list given.
Pampered and spoiled: Connor is anything but spoiled. Our family lives a life of chosen simplicity. We have what we need and what we will use. We expect a lot out of our son in terms of personal expectations as well as how he serves his family. Even the fact that he has cerbral palsy never resulted in our pampering him. We have always challenged him to reach his fullest potention and to perservere through the rought spots.
Feels incompetent because adults are more capable: LOL Connor is far more capable than most adults I know. He's has a strong sense of self, knows his abilities and limitations and a very good level of self esteem.
Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special: Nope. Connor hates being the center of attention. He likes to serve and be involve and is always out there, but don't draw attention to the fact that he's serving and doing.
Self-centered. Connor is self-less. He's always giving of his time and efforts to others in our school, church, community and beyond. He's always putting the family's needs above his own as well.
Relies on service from others rather than own efforts: Again NO. Connor is extremly independant.
Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way. Maybe when he was two. Connor is very flexible and looks at the bigger picture. He looks at what he can do, rather than what he can't.
May refuse to cooperate: Connor is Mr. Cooperation.
Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way: That has never happened. In fact he's never spoken to us reguarding a want, individually. He's always approached both of us together.
Only Child * Pampered and spoiled. * Feels incompetent because adults are more capable. * Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special. * Self-centered. * Relies on service from others rather than own efforts * Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way. * May refuse to cooperate. * Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.
Okay I was a middle child of three....but the only girl. I think that makes a difference.
Jackie is an only. She is pampered and spoiled to a certain degree. She does not feel incompetent....its more the opposite she loves to try to do things herself She might be the center of attention but does not expect it or demand it in any way She is far from being self centered....she gave away all her toys when she was little to charity on her own no push from anyone.........just to get a ball she wanted. Jackie relys on her own thoughts and feelings before she asks for help Jackie knows she is not going to get her way and loves playing with other children..
How are your kids different from each other? All 5 of my kids are very different from one another. I will just talk about the older kids though. Kiana is the oldest and is a total drama queen, big on fashion, celebs, and text messaging. Vanessa is very quiet and people watches a lot, and isn't very outgoing. Jazmine is outspoken, and outgoing.
What strengths do they bring to the table? I an say all 3 of them help out with the 2 little ones. Kiana likes to do hair so she does all of the sisters hair. One less thing I have to do.
What are you thoughts on birth order and do you think it holds some merit in how a child behaves? YES! Me being the oldest child myself it totally makes sense. It is all about responsibilty and being accountable for all of the what Mom or Dad and in my case Mom doesn't do. The twins are kind of grouped in a category since they came at the same time. They are in their own deal.
Well, my DD is an only and I think that she does have a different life experience than someone with siblings and she will have different strengths and weaknesses because of that life experience. Those are neither good nor bad, just facts. Kids who come from large families will have different strengths than kids who only have one sibling or perhaps a twin
I'm going to agree & disagree...lol.
Only Child
* Pampered and spoiled.
* Feels incompetent because adults are more capable.
* Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special.
* Self-centered.
* Relies on service from others rather than own efforts
* Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way.
* May refuse to cooperate.
* Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.
I agree with most except the second & third comments. I find she tends to think of herself as more of an adult, rather than feel incompetent toward them. She is quite competent, and knows it, and would prefer to be around those older than her than younger than her. Also, although she may be the center of attention at home, she's not elsewhere and prefers it that way--she does NOT like to be the center of attention.
The rest, unfortunately, I have to agree with a lot of the comments. She is self-centered, she does tend to rely on service from others or at least expect it, and she can definitely refuse to cooperate more times than not. "Divide & conquer", oh yeah, she tries to play us constantly.
Alysha
You're right--a lot of these are generic to the age of our kids or not necessarily apply to just onlies.
Alysha
How are your kids different from each other? There aren't a lot of differences between mine, which makes it both easy AND hard to deal with! He's the moody one, easy to discourage and though highly intellegent, he's lazy. She is more determined, prone to angry outbursts and while very smart...is much more likely to bite the bullet and work overtime to be an overachiever.
What strengths do they bring to the table? Both of mine have the desire and determination to lead the world and neither seem to understand that the world doesn't WANT to be led! HAHA!!! They are both very analytical and systematic with their reasoning, they don't make rash decisions and tend to over-plan and organize everything.
Are they physically the same. Yes, Medium height, skinny, brown hair. She has hazel eyes, he has brown. They didn't resemble each other at all for years and he tried to convince her we "found" her for several years. Now you can tell they're related!
What are you thoughts on birth order and do you think it holds some merit in how a child behaves? I can agree with it, it's not 100% accurate but pretty darn close! I think a child's personality is partiall formed by their birth order but it's also determined by their 'inner' self as well!
Nick:
First Child Is only child for period of time; used to being center
of attention. Absolutely, unfortunately he STILL thinks he should constantly be the center of attention! LOL!
Believes must gain and hold superiority over other children. Heck yeah...
Being right, controlling often important. Uses more passive-aggressive methods to control
May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved and neglected. Not really, he actually really enjoyed her when she was younger!
Strives to keep or regain parents' attention through conformity. If this failed, chooses to misbehave. Yes, he's easy to direct, usually can be counted on to do what's asked. Is also prone to misbehave for negative attention if he thinks he's not getting enough positive attention.
May develop competent, responsible behavior or become very discouraged. Very easily discouraged but does have a solid history of being responsible
Sometime strives to protect and help others. He's the first to step up to a bully (if it's not HIM doing it) when there are smaller kids around.
Strives to please. Much of the time
Mackenzie
Second Child Never has parents' undivided attention. We work on this!
Always has sibling ahead who's more advanced. She never played that game..she spoke very early and has been competitive with him ever since! (2.9 years apart in age)
Acts as if in race, trying to catch up or overtake first child. If first child is "good," second may become "bad." Develops abilities first child doesn't exhibit. If first child successful, may feel uncertain of self and abilities. We have made sure from day one to never label one BAD or GOOD. She's very competitive so we try to engage them in different activities to deter this.
May be rebel. Hmm..if you've read my clothing rants about her this year, you can tell she's definitely rebelling in THIS area! HAHA!!! She doesn't like us being angry with her so we use that to our advantage.
Often doesn't like position. She's quite clear that she'll never be considered "second" at anything! LOL!
Feels "squeezed" if third child is born. We have two small dogs and I can see by her behaviors to them that I would be HARD if we brough another child home.
May push down other siblings. She does this with the dogs, they're like kids...carryied around and lap sitters..she gets jealous and can be too aggressive towards them!
Denise
Linda
mom to
Alex (16), Rachel (14), Matthew (12)
I really do believe there is something to the "birth order" theory!
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Connor (13) is an only child and he doesn't fit the typical characteristics at all. To be honest he doesn't fit any category based upon the list given.
Pampered and spoiled: Connor is anything but spoiled. Our family lives a life of chosen simplicity. We have what we need and what we will use. We expect a lot out of our son in terms of personal expectations as well as how he serves his family. Even the fact that he has cerbral palsy never resulted in our pampering him. We have always challenged him to reach his fullest potention and to perservere through the rought spots.
Feels incompetent because adults are more capable: LOL Connor is far more capable than most adults I know. He's has a strong sense of self, knows his abilities and limitations and a very good level of self esteem.
Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special: Nope. Connor hates being the center of attention. He likes to serve and be involve and is always out there, but don't draw attention to the fact that he's serving and doing.
Self-centered. Connor is self-less. He's always giving of his time and efforts to others in our school, church, community and beyond. He's always putting the family's needs above his own as well.
Relies on service from others rather than own efforts: Again NO. Connor is extremly independant.
Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way. Maybe when he was two. Connor is very flexible and looks at the bigger picture. He looks at what he can do, rather than what he can't.
May refuse to cooperate: Connor is Mr. Cooperation.
Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way: That has never happened. In fact he's never spoken to us reguarding a want, individually. He's always approached both of us together.
I always find these lists interesting.
stacy
Only Child
* Pampered and spoiled.
* Feels incompetent because adults are more capable.
* Is center of attention; often enjoys position. May feel special.
* Self-centered.
* Relies on service from others rather than own efforts
* Feels unfairly treated when doesn't get own way.
* May refuse to cooperate.
* Plays "divide and conquer" to get own way.
Okay I was a middle child of three....but the only girl. I think that makes a difference.
Jackie is an only. She is pampered and spoiled to a certain degree.
She does not feel incompetent....its more the opposite she loves to try to do things herself
She might be the center of attention but does not expect it or demand it in any way
She is far from being self centered....she gave away all her toys when she was little to charity on her own no push from anyone.........just to get a ball she wanted.
Jackie relys on her own thoughts and feelings before she asks for help
Jackie knows she is not going to get her way and loves playing with other children..
How are your kids different from each other? All 5 of my kids are very different from one another. I will just talk about the older kids though. Kiana is the oldest and is a total drama queen, big on fashion, celebs, and text messaging. Vanessa is very quiet and people watches a lot, and isn't very outgoing. Jazmine is outspoken, and outgoing.
What strengths do they bring to the table? I an say all 3 of them help out with the 2 little ones. Kiana likes to do hair so she does all of the sisters hair. One less thing I have to do.
What are you thoughts on birth order and do you think it holds some merit in how a child behaves? YES! Me being the oldest child myself it totally makes sense. It is all about responsibilty and being accountable for all of the what Mom or Dad and in my case Mom doesn't do. The twins are kind of grouped in a category since they came at the same time. They are in their own deal.
Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"
Kiana "Hooprincess" 12 yrs old
Vanessa & Jazmine "The Twins"
Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"
Kiana "Hooprincess" 13 yrs old