I try and make sure both kids have time with me to just talk. They're pretty okay with me asking probing questions.
My 10yo dd and I will spend time doing each others hair, swimming together, we watch Jericho together and she is usually on my lap - lol. She hangs around me a lot so we spend a lot of time together.
My 13yo ds requires more work. He'd rather hang out in the playroom or his bedroom and not so much with me. I do "tuck" him in every night. He still likes his mama lovin though it will not leave this house - lol. Just last night we were joking around about his being my baby and he sat on my lap. We have a pool in the backyard and we do a family swim at least a few times a week.
Dh is home a ton. Our business is up and running well and he can do most work from his home office and just pop into the office here and there. He play sports with the kids and games, etc.
I think quality time is a bit of a myth. The truth is kids feel better when their parents are around. You can't make the 20 free minutes you have be something really deep and meaningful. You can have 20 minutes of deep meaningful things happen, but usually that comes from consistently being around and being there for them.
I don't set out for bonding time, it just happens.
I agree with Maryland crab, you have to be available all the time. We spend a lot of time togehter as a family and we both spend one on one time with the girls. One on one time is not always a scheduled thing, but it happens. If two of them have plans then I do something special with one of the girls. My husband will take them to activities that don't really interest me, but he would really enjoy. My older two like to go to the movies and I'll let them go in while I take the youngest shopping or to eat with just me.
Our girls play a lot of sports and we have a big yard so we practice in the yard a lot. I spent yesterday evening hitting softballs to them. The oldest isn't playing this year, but she was out there too. The youngest had a sleepover Friday for her 10th birthday and her sisters and both of us were there. Pretty much anything the girls are involved is time we spend as a family. We clean off the dinner table as a family and do most household chores in the same manner.
Jackie and I do alot of things together. We talk, we shop. I play with her. I interact in her games, books, every day activities. If she wants to paint, I paint too. If she wants to scrapbook, I do to. If she is playing with string, I show her different ways to do things. If I am cooking, she cooks with me. If she hunts for lizards, I go watch. See we do things together. Just somethings are instigated by me and some are her. We are somewhat inseparable. Hopefully this lasts.
I think that Tylor and I have a pretty close relationship...I hope...
Unfortunatly, with DH being gone this year, it's hard to have any one on one time with him because he does want to hang out with his friends or he babysits for me.
Because there is just the two of us, we spend ALOT of time together. Yesterday we went to Montreal so it was just us in the car for 2 hours, then together all day and 2 hours home. We talk alot (or she does LOL) and we laughed and had a great day. For her Dad, they are also alone at least one night a week, sometimes two and they do their things together, searching for fossils or wild life (they found a baby snapping turtle on the weekend) and stuff like that. I think bonding is sharing our passions. My ex's for minerals and fossils and nature and mine for travel and baking and books. So we each share that passion with her and she's developing her own interests in each.
I don't really have to make a date to go out for lunch with her or that kind of thing because if we ever go out for lunch its just us. LOL Its quite different I think if you are trying to work around another child or two and a spouse, the I believe having that one-on-one time now and then is important. We don't often invite friends of hers along with us. Most of the time I find it more effort, you are tied down by the constraints of another person, whereas if its just us we can do whatever we want whenever we want without having to check with anyone. We are kind of used to that fancy free lifestyle and both enjoy it. So 90% of the time its just us 2, bonding I suppose. :-)
I am a bit fearful of the upcoming teen years, but yesterday we had so much fun and were laughing and joking and I just hope its not going to disappear because of hormones and a growing brain. :-\
DH and I feel very bonded with our tween. We still read with her at night (not everynight anymore but at least 2-3 nights a week.) I'm also her Girl Scout leader so we are always doing fun stuff together. We share a high interest in theatre so we rent old musicals and see live performances. DH and her share certain emotional traits (namely anxiety) and they talk a lot about things bothering her and how to handle it. DH and I both know her friends really well and they are like extended family. DS and DD are super close. We are all campers and that really seems to do a great deal for our relationship with the kids. There is something about getting out in nature, working together, seeing amazing things, sticking close due to mountain lions, laughing over bug and rodent encounters, ect. We have our issues like any family but bonding isn't a problem.
I feel it's very important to try and connect with your child in some meaningful way on a regular basis. It's too easy to get lost in the day-to-day.
I bond with my kids just by doing everyday stuff with them all day long. Dh is not around a lot during the week but he tries to spend some one on one time with each of them everyday and they help him do errands and projects on the weekend.
Dh and I spend a ton of time withour kids. We don't set aside quality time, but figure all our timeis tht! Dh loves video games, and the three of them will be one giant lump on a couch or bed trading, and playing games. Dh and I are scout leaders for them, involved iwth PTA, etc... We eat dinner together almost every night, so that helps too!
I try and make sure both kids have time with me to just talk. They're pretty okay with me asking probing questions.
My 10yo dd and I will spend time doing each others hair, swimming together, we watch Jericho together and she is usually on my lap - lol. She hangs around me a lot so we spend a lot of time together.
My 13yo ds requires more work. He'd rather hang out in the playroom or his bedroom and not so much with me. I do "tuck" him in every night. He still likes his mama lovin though it will not leave this house - lol. Just last night we were joking around about his being my baby and he sat on my lap. We have a pool in the backyard and we do a family swim at least a few times a week.
Dh is home a ton. Our business is up and running well and he can do most work from his home office and just pop into the office here and there. He play sports with the kids and games, etc.
I think quality time is a bit of a myth. The truth is kids feel better when their parents are around. You can't make the 20 free minutes you have be something really deep and meaningful. You can have 20 minutes of deep meaningful things happen, but usually that comes from consistently being around and being there for them.
I don't set out for bonding time, it just happens.
I agree with Maryland crab, you have to be available all the time. We spend a lot of time togehter as a family and we both spend one on one time with the girls. One on one time is not always a scheduled thing, but it happens. If two of them have plans then I do something special with one of the girls. My husband will take them to activities that don't really interest me, but he would really enjoy. My older two like to go to the movies and I'll let them go in while I take the youngest shopping or to eat with just me.
Our girls play a lot of sports and we have a big yard so we practice in the yard a lot. I spent yesterday evening hitting softballs to them. The oldest isn't playing this year, but she was out there too. The youngest had a sleepover Friday for her 10th birthday and her sisters and both of us were there. Pretty much anything the girls are involved is time we spend as a family. We clean off the dinner table as a family and do most household chores in the same manner.
Tonya
I think that Tylor and I have a pretty close relationship...I hope...
Unfortunatly, with DH being gone this year, it's hard to have any one on one time with him because he does want to hang out with his friends or he babysits for me.
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Because there is just the two of us, we spend ALOT of time together. Yesterday we went to Montreal so it was just us in the car for 2 hours, then together all day and 2 hours home. We talk alot (or she does LOL) and we laughed and had a great day. For her Dad, they are also alone at least one night a week, sometimes two and they do their things together, searching for fossils or wild life (they found a baby snapping turtle on the weekend) and stuff like that. I think bonding is sharing our passions. My ex's for minerals and fossils and nature and mine for travel and baking and books. So we each share that passion with her and she's developing her own interests in each.
I don't really have to make a date to go out for lunch with her or that kind of thing because if we ever go out for lunch its just us. LOL Its quite different I think if you are trying to work around another child or two and a spouse, the I believe having that one-on-one time now and then is important. We don't often invite friends of hers along with us. Most of the time I find it more effort, you are tied down by the constraints of another person, whereas if its just us we can do whatever we want whenever we want without having to check with anyone. We are kind of used to that fancy free lifestyle and both enjoy it. So 90% of the time its just us 2, bonding I suppose. :-)
I am a bit fearful of the upcoming teen years, but yesterday we had so much fun and were laughing and joking and I just hope its not going to disappear because of hormones and a growing brain. :-\
DH and I feel very bonded with our tween. We still read with her at night (not everynight anymore but at least 2-3 nights a week.) I'm also her Girl Scout leader so we are always doing fun stuff together. We share a high interest in theatre so we rent old musicals and see live performances. DH and her share certain emotional traits (namely anxiety) and they talk a lot about things bothering her and how to handle it. DH and I both know her friends really well and they are like extended family. DS and DD are super close. We are all campers and that really seems to do a great deal for our relationship with the kids. There is something about getting out in nature, working together, seeing amazing things, sticking close due to mountain lions, laughing over bug and rodent encounters, ect. We have our issues like any family but bonding isn't a problem.
I feel it's very important to try and connect with your child in some meaningful way on a regular basis. It's too easy to get lost in the day-to-day.
I think homeschooling bonds us fairly closely, I know his friends and their families well and we spend a lot of time together on a daily basis.
Linda
mom to
Alex (16), Rachel (14), Matthew (12)
Ramona Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!