QOTW: Different race & culture

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
QOTW: Different race & culture
15
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 9:17am


QOTW:


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 9:40am

I'm of hispanic heritage and my children are also Irish and Swedish. My daughter had a crush on an Asian boy (Chinese) in elementary school, and my son's last girlfriend was Korean, so I guess we crossed that bridge a long time ago! Relationships with others of a different race/cultural background/different religion is totally accepted and a non-issue in our family.

I was raised in a family where my parents wanted me to stay within my own race (but were fine with my brother dating outside the race!). My parents have since turned around 100% in this area and it's not an issue with them, either.

Lynn (with 12 year old boy/girl twins)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 9:53am

Great question.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 10:08am

Its not a problem for me. Probably close to 45% of Dd's school is of a different race and culture. All of the girls seem to have crushes on boys of different groups from time to time. The muslim boys, the asians, caribbean, and of course a nice mix of Canadians (which could mean any number of cultures mixed in). If the guy treats her with respect and is a decent person, like Rasheita I don't care if he's purple, green or pink. I think its great that she is in such a racially diverse school because she doesn't really notice the color of other kids, she's friends with all colors and cultures and I encourage that.


One thing I noticed when we moved to the Czech Republic was how "white" it was when you were on the street. Coming from a region of the city here which had a huge Somali population and I was used to seeing dark skinned people wearing traditional clothes, it was rather disconcerting to NEVER see anyone of a different shade. If you saw a black person it was a big novelty. There were a few Asians who ran the open markets but generally its a very homogeneous society there which may change now they are in the European Union. But I like the many colors and cultures

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 10:24am

How would you feel if your tween/teen brought home a boyfriend from a different race or culture?


or girlfriend...LOL







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 10:38am
No problem here. My town is right next to a very large Indian reserve so there is a good chance that there boyfriend/girlfriend will be at least part Aboriginal. They already

Linda
mom to
Alex (16), Rachel (14), Matthew (12)


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2004
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 10:42am
QOTW:


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:22am

I posted this question because one day recently my son and I were picking my daughter up from school after drama club. We were walking around looking for her when an boy from Nick's class started walking with us and talking to Nick. When he realized WHO Nick's sister was, he was very interested and started 'talking her up'. I thought it was cute until the next day when I discovered he'd approached her at school and asked her to be his girlfriend. She readily admitted that she'd thanked him but told him NO. That night at dinner I brought it up, and dad and I reminded her that she's only in 7th grade and we didn't want her hanging out with boys older than 7th grade. She asked if it was because he wasn't white and we both said "NO, IT'S BECAUSE HE'S IN 10TH GRADE!!!"

This led to our discussion over this topic. I was raised NOTto judge people, but DH was raised by a family completely opposite! We have spent our lives trying to raise kids who don't judge others by race or skin color because DH's parents are soooo prejudiced! Mack said she'd be afraid to bring anyone home who wasn't white because of what her Grandpa would say! Dad told her that WHEN SHE GREW UP that she could date any person she wanted as long as they were good people and treated her right...and that he'd be the first to tell his dad if she dated someone different, JUST FOR the satisfaction of pissing him off! LOL!!! Made for a great laugh over dinner!

Denise

Avatar for ang2gals
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:39am

I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem w/either myself or DH because both of us would be concerned w/how the significant other treated my child rather than their race/culture. After all I'm Chinese & DH is Caucasian so it'd be pretty hyppcritical for us to be negative when we ourselves are a mixed couple ;-)

As other posters have commented it doesn't matter what the appearance as long as he treated my dds respectfully & she cared for him. Basically a nonissue here, after all why create stress for no reason eh.

-- Ang

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 12:54pm

It wouldn't bother me one bit, so long as she was a decent person and treated my son and herself with respect.

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 2:30pm

If my daughter brought home a boyfriend at all right now, I'd freak out. She's not even 12 yet! But...when the time comes, I would prefer her to date a Christian believer of any race or nationality over someone of our race who is not a believer.

I married an atheist and although we have a great marriage, there are many areas where it is so hard I couldn't possibly explain it all in a single post (or possibly even a single book). And I want to spare my children those difficulties.

But of course I will welcome anyone who honors and loves my children, no matter what their religion or background.

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