Well this is what we have started doing lately.If Samantha lets say doesnt doesnt do her homework because she is watching tv.Well then the next day she has no tv rights and she dosent have them until we see that her homework is done.If she is picking on her brother and making him cry she has to write a page about why that isnt nice and how it hurts when her when people tease her and what she can do insted of picking on him.If she back talks and is mean to us we usally send her to her room to think about it and than we talk about it and she has to come up with why she did it what she could have done and what she will do next time then she also losses a privlage for a few day,But we are trying to have her think about what she did and why she did it and what she could do insted next time because she is getting older and personal accountablity is very inportant now because one day we wont be there to tell her dessisons she should make and if we have her think about all this now hopefully she will make wise choice later when she needs to.So far it seems to be working out well.I was such a yeller and I started to think about what it was like when I was growing up and I dont want Samantha to feel the way I did so insted i have been doing this and sending her to her room to think gives me a chanch to clam down and think to.The rule is I dont know is not and aswer as to why you did what you did. Tammy
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs? My kids are known as "Spirited", which basically means their personalities make them 'more' in each way. When they were both young they were very intense and persistence, 'locking on' to thoughts and ideas. They couldn't be redirected and/or talked to and time outs were the biggest jokes. Unfortunately we had to use spanking a bit more than we were comfortable with because it was the only way to 'shock' them into 'unlocking' whatever they were focused on. As they got older and developed better communication skills we were able to develop more creative methods of instruction and discipline.
How has this changed as your tween/teen has gotten older? When their communication skills matured spanking pretty much phased out. Dealing with these types of kids successfully led to my pursuing my degree, and my senior thesis dealt with treating 'hard core kids' by more active parenting instead of medication. I now have many more techniques under my belt but the biggest thing I use is "Natural Consequences". I firmly believe that styles change as the child changes and they have to be tailored to each child's personality.
What forms of discipline seem to work the best currently? Natural consequences work best for us. When my son pointed a pellet gun at his sister he had to write a three page paper discussing the feelings of family members if he'd actually hurt her or even killed her. He's very tender hearted actually and he found this a very hard paper to write. He definitely never did that again. Kids don't answer their cell phones or return parental calls? Phone is taken away, meaning they can't leave the house without a parent unless they're going to the bus stop.
Just because of my kids' histories of being difficult kids, I think I tend to 'over-punish' on some smaller things just to make my point. A simple talking to never worked because they were 'over it' before I'd finished talking. Assigning extra chores..especially for bickering with each other or talking ugly to members of the household were effective. I actually have a jar with slip of papers with odd chores on them. It's labeled "Moms Mad Jar" and when they won't STOP, or just keep pushing a situation after being warned then they know they've made me mad when I put the jar in front of them. As a result they've learned to read my visual cues and know that when I say the conversation is over, it's over. You gotta love the look on their faces when they pull a slip that says to organize the tupperware cabinet, alphabatize the spices or even better yet...pick up dog poop in the back yard!
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?No spanking!!Taking Kacie's privileges away works pretty well.We also bribe her at times.Ex:if you don't clean up your room,NO friends over this weekend..We don't have to use bribing too often,but it can be effective occasionally..
How has this changed as your tween/teen has gotten older?We've tried spanking before,but she would just look@us like we'd lost our minds,We've also tried time-outs,but that really doesn't work that well now..We find that taking away privileges away or saying she can't do something,works pretty well..
What forms of discipline seem to work the best currently?When she gets a smart mouth,I usually give her a talk&let her know that her attitude&disrespect will NOT be accepted!!If it still continues,I send her to her room until she is ready to be respectful.I don't disrespect her&will not allow it from her..Sometimes she comes out and apologizes within 10min,but occassionally she'll be in there for an hour or more(on her more stubborn days)We also take away privileges away.ie:phone,tv,no friends over,no movies,skating,ect.Depending on what she wants to do more.We find that doing this,she usually shapes up..
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?
~~When my kids were younger, they were spanked on the hand and sometimes on the rear. I am a firm believer in spanking. I can count on one hand the amonut of times I've had to spank on the rear. Now that they're older we take away privileges. I still reserve the right to spank (they think I will), but I don't plan to. I never threaten a punishment and not follow thru. If
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?
When the kids were small we used timeouts which worked in that they stopped whatever the misbehaviour was, but they really were not learning anything from it. Several years ago we switched to logical consequences. Whatever was done wrong ,a solution is
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?
I believe that discipline and punishment are two very different things. I also believe that it is possible to discpline without punishing. However, Discipline must always accompany punishment. Punishment without real discipline of skills does nothing to actually help a child become successful in improving their behavior.
Children do not have to be punished in order to learn to improve their behavior. I do believe that children need to be held accountable for their actions and be held responsible for making neccessary restitution. I strongly believe in utlizing logical consequences when neccessary and feel that arbitrary punishments are pointless and do nothing to actually give the child any real sense of connection between their behavior and the results of that behavior.
How has this changed as your tween/teen has gotten older?
It's gotten much easier, because my son now has a strong set of skills that he can employ, a good sense of who he is and who he wants to be, as well as an understanding as to how fragile relationships can be and how easy it is to damage a relationship. Most importantly he's now old enough to own his own set of morals and values based on faith.
What forms of discipline seem to work the best currently? Currently and always... Teaching skills of compassion, empathy, problem solving, and communication in conjunction with the teachings of faith.
I think this is a great topic considering the recent conversations on this board.
Tammy
Edited 11/13/2006 9:14 am ET by oh1ladybug
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs? My kids are known as "Spirited", which basically means their personalities make them 'more' in each way. When they were both young they were very intense and persistence, 'locking on' to thoughts and ideas. They couldn't be redirected and/or talked to and time outs were the biggest jokes. Unfortunately we had to use spanking a bit more than we were comfortable with because it was the only way to 'shock' them into 'unlocking' whatever they were focused on. As they got older and developed better communication skills we were able to develop more creative methods of instruction and discipline.
How has this changed as your tween/teen has gotten older? When their communication skills matured spanking pretty much phased out. Dealing with these types of kids successfully led to my pursuing my degree, and my senior thesis dealt with treating 'hard core kids' by more active parenting instead of medication. I now have many more techniques under my belt but the biggest thing I use is "Natural Consequences". I firmly believe that styles change as the child changes and they have to be tailored to each child's personality.
What forms of discipline seem to work the best currently? Natural consequences work best for us. When my son pointed a pellet gun at his sister he had to write a three page paper discussing the feelings of family members if he'd actually hurt her or even killed her. He's very tender hearted actually and he found this a very hard paper to write. He definitely never did that again. Kids don't answer their cell phones or return parental calls? Phone is taken away, meaning they can't leave the house without a parent unless they're going to the bus stop.
Just because of my kids' histories of being difficult kids, I think I tend to 'over-punish' on some smaller things just to make my point. A simple talking to never worked because they were 'over it' before I'd finished talking. Assigning extra chores..especially for bickering with each other or talking ugly to members of the household were effective. I actually have a jar with slip of papers with odd chores on them. It's labeled "Moms Mad Jar" and when they won't STOP, or just keep pushing a situation after being warned then they know they've made me mad when I put the jar in front of them. As a result they've learned to read my visual cues and know that when I say the conversation is over, it's over. You gotta love the look on their faces when they pull a slip that says to organize the tupperware cabinet, alphabatize the spices or even better yet...pick up dog poop in the back yard!
Denise
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?No spanking!!Taking Kacie's privileges away works pretty well.We also bribe her at times.Ex:if you don't clean up your room,NO friends over this weekend..We don't have to use bribing too often,but it can be effective occasionally..
How has this changed as your tween/teen has gotten older?We've tried spanking before,but she would just look@us like we'd lost our minds,We've also tried time-outs,but that really doesn't work that well now..We find that taking away privileges away or saying she can't do something,works pretty well..
What forms of discipline seem to work the best currently?When she gets a smart mouth,I usually give her a talk&let her know that her attitude&disrespect will NOT be accepted!!If it still continues,I send her to her room until she is ready to be respectful.I don't disrespect her&will not allow it from her..Sometimes she comes out and apologizes within 10min,but occassionally she'll be in there for an hour or more(on her more stubborn days)We also take away privileges away.ie:phone,tv,no friends over,no movies,skating,ect.Depending on what she wants to do more.We find that doing this,she usually shapes up..
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?
~~When my kids were younger, they were spanked on the hand and sometimes on the rear. I am a firm believer in spanking. I can count on one hand the amonut of times I've had to spank on the rear. Now that they're older we take away privileges. I still reserve the right to spank (they think I will), but I don't plan to. I never threaten a punishment and not follow thru. If
What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?
When the kids were small we used timeouts which worked in that they stopped whatever the misbehaviour was, but they really were not learning anything from it. Several years ago we switched to logical consequences. Whatever was done wrong ,a solution is
Linda
mom to
Alex (16), Rachel (14), Matthew (12)
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What about discipline styles, do you believe in spanking, taking away privileges or time outs?
I believe that discipline and punishment are two very different things. I also believe that it is possible to discpline without punishing. However, Discipline must always accompany punishment. Punishment without real discipline of skills does nothing to actually help a child become successful in improving their behavior.
Children do not have to be punished in order to learn to improve their behavior. I do believe that children need to be held accountable for their actions and be held responsible for making neccessary restitution. I strongly believe in utlizing logical consequences when neccessary and feel that arbitrary punishments are pointless and do nothing to actually give the child any real sense of connection between their behavior and the results of that behavior.
How has this changed as your tween/teen has gotten older?
It's gotten much easier, because my son now has a strong set of skills that he can employ, a good sense of who he is and who he wants to be, as well as an understanding as to how fragile relationships can be and how easy it is to damage a relationship. Most importantly he's now old enough to own his own set of morals and values based on faith.
What forms of discipline seem to work the best currently? Currently and always... Teaching skills of compassion, empathy, problem solving, and communication in conjunction with the teachings of faith.
stacy