QOTW: Friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
QOTW: Friends
19
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 8:03am

(Thank you to the board member who submitted this as a topic idea)
QOTW:


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 8:32am

QOTW:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 10:36am
How about friends:

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Avatar for cathiann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 10:39am

Luke has 2 good friends, but has been complaining lately that both are drawing away from him.

Surviving Middle & High School
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Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 10:45am

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Connor has a handful of close friends. Maybe 4 or 5.

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Depends on the friend. He's done everything from see a theater production to play video games.

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We let them watch a movie or play video games, hang out, etc... I do insist on open doors and they have to check in to use the computer or leave the house.

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Spends more time playing video games. He usually only plays them if he has a friend over. I never see him bother with the PS2 when he's alone.

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I do like his friends. Not sure if they will remain friends into adulthood or not. They all have very different life goals.

<> Maybe twice a year.

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House rules for everyone. Including lights out by 10:30 pm.

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Again he does this maybe two or three times a year. For the most part the rules are the same as at home. Be respectful, help out, use manners, do your share of chores (help friends with their chores or ask if there is something you can do to help), and I always speak to the parents first.

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 11:10am

How about friends: how many close friends does your 10-14 have, 2 best friends, 3 more good friends

how do they spend their time, Playing dress up with make up and pretending to model, on the computer looking at videos, hiding in her room playing Bratz while trying not to let anyone know they're actually playing DOLLS! :)

what sort of rules do you have when they have friends over (limits on TV/gaming, door open or closed, do they need to check in with you before they do stuff). I pretty much treat her having friends over as a break for me...she doesn't have any local friends that just pop over so I just leave them alone when they DO come over. She has a pretty good sense of what she can and can't do. They can shut the door, but she has to ask/tell me before they leave the house to go to the park, or if they want to get snacks/meals.

What sort of things does your 10-14 yr old do when friends are around and how does it differ from their usual activities. There's more noise and giggles and screaming. Other that that there is still loud music at time, big brother is still being aggravated, there's still messes left around...just more mouths to feed I guess! LOL!

Do you like their friends, how do you handle it if you don't, do you think they will keep these friends into adulthood, etc, etc. She is very picky when it comes to friends, she's been know to go a full year without a friend because she didn't like anyone. If they're good enough for her, I tolerate them. So far the only issues I have is how they're allowed to dress and that causes conflicts at home. Friends into adulthood? I'm glad to know that being a military family, we'll probably move several times before that so it's not a real concern for us.

And how do you feel about sleepovers? How often do you allow your 10-14 year old to have people sleep over? What rules do you have? Do they have to go to bed at a certain time? I have no problem with sleepovers but I try to always have an even number so you don't have the evil 'triangle'. We probably have at least one girl sleepover twice a month. I'd rather have them here having fun than them wanting to go to the movies/mall and having to say NO!!! We make them seclude themselves in the room around 10pm, but if we don't hear much noise we leave them alone. If they're loud we'll make them turn the lights out by 11.

What about sleeping over at other places---how often do you allow this to happen and what rules do you have there? Do you have to speak to the paretns first? I love it when she sleeps over at other's houses, but her control issues prevent her from enjoying it too often! Maybe once every couple of months, and only with her two best friends. I have met both families and I know she'll be okay there. Yes I have to meet the parents first AND Iprefer the girl to have spent the night here first so I have an idea of what she's like. After my daughter calling me to come get her from a huge sleepover earlier in the year becuase the girls were doing something she wasn't comfortable being around...I have a pretty good sense of her doing what's right when she's away from me.

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 1:14pm

Wow! Lots of questions...

Hannah--I would say she has 4 close friends. They are all kids of parents that we are good friends with, which works really nicely. Although, last year there were some issues but all seem to be resolved this year and Hannah is a lot happier. She doesn't do sleepovers that much either here or other places. MAybe once ever 2 months?? I'm not sure what they do when they are together. I know they listen to music and are giggling all the time. I don't really have any rules about bedtime, but they have to be QUIET! She has a lot of friends at school. Gets along with almost everybody.

Nathan--He has one boy he would call his best friend, but is well liked by lots of others. He had a slumber party (kind of a birthday party) where he invited 4 friends over. (yikes!) They suprised me by not playing video games all night, and acutally played ping pong and some kind of hide and seek game. We have a few more rules when he has friends over b/c they tend to be a little more wild. (not Too bad, though, I was suprised). I don't really have a bedtime for them either, again, they just have to be QUIET!!!!

I like all of Hannah's friends. We have known a couple since birth and a few more since K. There is one of Nathan's friends that is a little annoying, but not too bad. I am more bothered by his parents and tend to feel a little sorry for him so I put up with him.

Karin

Karin

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Registered: 04-06-2006
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 1:22pm

Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"

Kiana "Hooprincess" 13 yrs old

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 8:02pm

(Thank you to the board member who submitted this as a topic idea)
QOTW:


Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 8:37am

Kayleigh has 4 or 5 close friends, a nice group of girls.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 8:39am

I have a question. Why does it matter what time your kids go to bed when they have a sleepover if they don't have to be anywhere or "function" the next day? I understand if they have a game or need to go to church and be alert, but what is the harm in letting kids stay up as long as they want?????

Karin

ps of course if they are really loud and making lots of noise I would definitely make them go to sleep.

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