QOTW: "Helicopter Parents"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
QOTW: "Helicopter Parents"
28
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 7:46am

Board Question of the Week...


**Helicopter Parents**


Helicopter parents, these are people that always hover around waiting to fly in and fix things for their kids. These kids never learn how to deal with disappointment etc.
Do you know anyone like this? Are you like this?


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Avatar for ang2gals
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 12:19pm

Ooops my apologies...see what posting from work does?!?! What I meant to say is that when I receive helpful "advice" its usually helicopter parents that also volunteer. I can vividly recall one incident I was at the receiving end of a lecture not only about something dd did in class but that if I took a job in the school system it would be better for her since our schedules would be the same.

Did not mean to say all volunteers are helicopter parents....I'm sure some of the working parents are helicopter parents too. Personally I think its a control thing, LOL ;-)

-- Ang

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 3:38pm

Can you give some better/more specific examples of what would be considered 'helicopter parenting'? Judging from everyone's responses, no one seems to be over parenting or underparenting. We all have a wide variety of what's considered normal, but where would the boundaries be? What IS considered extreme? Just curious!

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 5:49pm

oooh jumping in on my own bandwagon.....


Extreme helicoptering (for me) would be like a lady I know - we'll call her paula


She has 5 kids - each of her kids has MANY activities - mom makes sure every kid is at every event, if there is an altercation with another child, rather than letting them work it out, she jumps in and sperates and deals with it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 9:30pm

I'm a recovering helicopter parent. My DH is not. He teaches Hannah life lessons all the time. We balance the child rearing well. :)


My father was a helicopter parent. He paid my rent on my apt. I was in my late 20's. Before I was married he paid all my credit cards off several times. I never learned. He always bailed me out. No matter what the problem was he was there to pick up the pieces.


Hannah and DH have a gr8 relationship. She confides in him but he doesn't solve her problems. They just bounce ideas off of each other. In the end she figures it out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:12pm
I am definitely not a helicopter parent. Jessica is very independant and would probably get angry if I tried to solve a problem for her.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:57pm
I have a neighbor who is just like this. Her oldest is 10, but I always say "what's going to happen to her when she gets to college?" Her mom picks her teacher every year, then bitterly complains about the teacher, rallies the other parents against her, and then starts over for the next year. The kid doesn't know what's going on in school, but it's never her fault.

Trish

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:01am

Here's an article on "Helicopter Parents"........


http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/209473_copterparents.html






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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:13pm

According to that article, I am in NO way a helicopter parent!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:17pm

I've always been bothered by the concept of "everyone wins", disappointment is normal and necessary!


I agree!






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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 2:09pm

Yep, that's little old me. :)


Last night Hannah was complaining about her science teacher. She has an F in that class due to not turning in the assignments. Duh, look at the web page and figure it out hun. She is an A student mind you. She told me that he didn't tell her to turn the assignment in. When I looked at her assignment calendar there it was in black and white. I was thinking, "she must be butting heads with this guy." I've heard not so nice things about him from my fellow PTA buddies. I was thinking I'll just make alittle phone call to her counselor and have them switch her teachers. But.... then I hear Hannah talking to her dad. He's telling her to buck up. That certain people in her life will bug her and it's all a lesson in life.... blah, blah, blah. So there went my idea of the teacher switching. I can't get away with being a helecopter parent as long as DH is around.


BTW- DH took away all her sims2's, her manga books, and she can't watch any tv until she brings that grade up to a B. Bummer huh?

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