I'm assuming this is the kind of announcement made after much soul searching and not a 16 year old whim. If she had determined she really was gay and that was that, I wouldn't really have a problem with it. My greatest concern would be how she would be treated in the world. Gay couples face A LOT of prejudice and outright abuse from people and I would hate for her to have to live with that. Also so many gay people do not feel they can tell their families, would she possibly find a partner who is not "out" and I'm sure living that lie and having to sneak around year upon year would be a horrible way to live your life. So I'd more concerned on how it would affect her outside of her sexuality and the challenges she would have to face being gay that she wouldn't being straight.
However things like grandchildren are not an issue. She could adopt, have her own or none. No guarantee because she's straight she'll have kids. I'm not too concerned about that anyway. We're not religious so it's not something that would be a problem for us religiously. I'm sure at first it would be awkward for me, I don't know alot of people who are openly "out" so I'm sure I'd feel weird if she was bringing home her partner, but I imagine like anything once I got used to it I'd be fine.
Well, my younger brother is openly gay, living the lifestyle for most of his adult life. I sincerely can't articulate how I'd feel, there'd certainly be some mixed feelings. I think my biggest concern, especially after seeing how my younger brother has lived his life, is that they wouldn't be as committed to a long term relationship and would participate in more risky behavior. I'm not saying that heterosexuals don't too though.
My daughter's best friend's older sister is 14 and she proudly tells anyone who will listen that she's bisexual. My daughter couldn't understand why I wasn't happy when she told me and to be honest I had to think about it a couple of hours. I guess what bothered me is that by her announcing proudly that she's bisexual does that mean she's had sexual experiences with both sexes already? At 14? Otherwise how can she know that? How does she KNOW she has sexual feelings for both sexes? I guess I just see this as yet another method of being 'sexualized' so early. Coming from a negative background of sexual abuse, it just bothers me to see tweens/teens becoming so sexual at such young ages. I guess I just wish I could turn off the media that teaches these kids that their sexuality defines their self-worth and let them focus on who they really can be...
Back to the homosexuality issue, I guess I'd be shocked, but I wouldn't be one of those who tossed em out on the street and had a nervous breakdown! :P
I'd like to say that I would react to it very calmly and be accepting of the situation. However, we never know how we will really react until we are put in certain situations. I do know that I will always love my children unconditionally, even if my initial reaction is shocked or angry. I might need time to get used to it.
My oldest daughter has a guy friend who has openly said he is gay for about 3 years now, he is 17. The boys at school gave him a hard time at first, but as time has passed they have let up on him. I wasn't sure how I felt about Shaina and his friendship at first, because I worried about her walking to eat with him after school when the boys were trying to beat him up and giving him a hard time. They are the best of friends and I'm just glad now that she has a true friend.
Sometimes, I think kids are experimenting and others are doing it for attention or because they think it is cool. In reality though a caring life partner of the same sex would be what I want for my child if that made them truly happy, or the alternative was an abusive husband.
I wouldn't do anything. I would just listen, and say, "OK."
I would be a little disappointed, but not devastated. I have known many people who are gay, and they lead very ordinary lives.
I do think people know very early on that they are gay. They don't need to have to have sex in order for them to know they are a homosexual. Just like I didn't need to have sex to know I was a heterosexual.
It would depend on the age and circumstance. By tween I assume you mean 10 - 12. There was a boy I knew who lived next door growing up and I just always knew he was gay, before I was able to know what it was or verbalize it. Or shall I say, when I heard he was gay I wasn't surprised. I can't even say why I knew, I just did.
I think there is a difference between knowing in your soul who you are, and the experimental phase of growing up. There is soooo much "publicity" in the media now for homosexuality. I truly believe only a very small percentage of homosexuals are born that way. Many were victims of sexual abuse and had traumatic experiences growing up, or they bought into the liberal agenda and chose the lifestyle.
Even with all the hype around homosexuality I do believe it is a hard row to hoe in life. Where we live you just don't see it like I'm sure you do in bigger areas. Of course that isn't to say there aren't gay people here, it just isn't as open.
I also think if parents are really in tune with their kids it won't be a surprise. I would hope my kids could tell me without the crushing guilt.
In all honesty I would be sad for them. I'd be sad because it is sooo hard, there are so many prejudices and I'd hate for them to have to suffer because of it. I'd love them no matter what however.
But the first conversation and at first blush I would want to make sure they understood what they were saying, find out where it was coming from, and find out if it was just a shocking statement, or a soul baring moment. For sure I'd hug them and tell them I loved them regardless.
" I truly believe only a very small percentage of homosexuals are born that way. Many were victims of sexual abuse and had traumatic experiences growing up, or they bought into the liberal agenda and chose the lifestyle. "
I have known gay people my entire adult life. I have worked with them, and some live in my neighborhood. While you may believe this is true, I know it isn't.
One of Hannah's class mates told Hannah was was bisexual as they were walking to class one day. How do you know you are bisexual at 12/13 years old? I just don't get it.
While they are still this young, I would wonder whether that was really the case. A lot of tween/teens have early experiences with same-sex "partners." I'm not talking about being sexually active, but having feelings toward members of the same sex. Then later they are completely heterosexual. But if it turned out that they really felt they were homosexual, I would support them in their life's journey. I don't believe this is a social type of choice. I believe it's somehow destined for some people.
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Interesting question.
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I'm assuming this is the kind of announcement made after much soul searching and not a 16 year old whim. If she had determined she really was gay and that was that, I wouldn't really have a problem with it. My greatest concern would be how she would be treated in the world. Gay couples face A LOT of prejudice and outright abuse from people and I would hate for her to have to live with that. Also so many gay people do not feel they can tell their families, would she possibly find a partner who is not "out" and I'm sure living that lie and having to sneak around year upon year would be a horrible way to live your life. So I'd more concerned on how it would affect her outside of her sexuality and the challenges she would have to face being gay that she wouldn't being straight.
However things like grandchildren are not an issue. She could adopt, have her own or none. No guarantee because she's straight she'll have kids. I'm not too concerned about that anyway. We're not religious so it's not something that would be a problem for us religiously. I'm sure at first it would be awkward for me, I don't know alot of people who are openly "out" so I'm sure I'd feel weird if she was bringing home her partner, but I imagine like anything once I got used to it I'd be fine.
Well, my younger brother is openly gay, living the lifestyle for most of his adult life. I sincerely can't articulate how I'd feel, there'd certainly be some mixed feelings. I think my biggest concern, especially after seeing how my younger brother has lived his life, is that they wouldn't be as committed to a long term relationship and would participate in more risky behavior. I'm not saying that heterosexuals don't too though.
My daughter's best friend's older sister is 14 and she proudly tells anyone who will listen that she's bisexual. My daughter couldn't understand why I wasn't happy when she told me and to be honest I had to think about it a couple of hours. I guess what bothered me is that by her announcing proudly that she's bisexual does that mean she's had sexual experiences with both sexes already? At 14? Otherwise how can she know that? How does she KNOW she has sexual feelings for both sexes? I guess I just see this as yet another method of being 'sexualized' so early. Coming from a negative background of sexual abuse, it just bothers me to see tweens/teens becoming so sexual at such young ages. I guess I just wish I could turn off the media that teaches these kids that their sexuality defines their self-worth and let them focus on who they really can be...
Back to the homosexuality issue, I guess I'd be shocked, but I wouldn't be one of those who tossed em out on the street and had a nervous breakdown! :P
Denise
I'd like to say that I would react to it very calmly and be accepting of the situation. However, we never know how we will really react until we are put in certain situations. I do know that I will always love my children unconditionally, even if my initial reaction is shocked or angry. I might need time to get used to it.
My oldest daughter has a guy friend who has openly said he is gay for about 3 years now, he is 17. The boys at school gave him a hard time at first, but as time has passed they have let up on him. I wasn't sure how I felt about Shaina and his friendship at first, because I worried about her walking to eat with him after school when the boys were trying to beat him up and giving him a hard time. They are the best of friends and I'm just glad now that she has a true friend.
Sometimes, I think kids are experimenting and others are doing it for attention or because they think it is cool. In reality though a caring life partner of the same sex would be what I want for my child if that made them truly happy, or the alternative was an abusive husband.
I wouldn't do anything. I would just listen, and say, "OK."
I would be a little disappointed, but not devastated. I have known many people who are gay, and they lead very ordinary lives.
I do think people know very early on that they are gay. They don't need to have to have sex in order for them to know they are a homosexual. Just like I didn't need to have sex to know I was a heterosexual.
It would depend on the age and circumstance. By tween I assume you mean 10 - 12. There was a boy I knew who lived next door growing up and I just always knew he was gay, before I was able to know what it was or verbalize it. Or shall I say, when I heard he was gay I wasn't surprised. I can't even say why I knew, I just did.
I think there is a difference between knowing in your soul who you are, and the experimental phase of growing up. There is soooo much "publicity" in the media now for homosexuality. I truly believe only a very small percentage of homosexuals are born that way. Many were victims of sexual abuse and had traumatic experiences growing up, or they bought into the liberal agenda and chose the lifestyle.
Even with all the hype around homosexuality I do believe it is a hard row to hoe in life. Where we live you just don't see it like I'm sure you do in bigger areas. Of course that isn't to say there aren't gay people here, it just isn't as open.
I also think if parents are really in tune with their kids it won't be a surprise. I would hope my kids could tell me without the crushing guilt.
In all honesty I would be sad for them. I'd be sad because it is sooo hard, there are so many prejudices and I'd hate for them to have to suffer because of it. I'd love them no matter what however.
But the first conversation and at first blush I would want to make sure they understood what they were saying, find out where it was coming from, and find out if it was just a shocking statement, or a soul baring moment. For sure I'd hug them and tell them I loved them regardless.
" I truly believe only a very small percentage of homosexuals are born that way. Many were victims of sexual abuse and had traumatic experiences growing up, or they bought into the liberal agenda and chose the lifestyle. "
I have known gay people my entire adult life. I have worked with them, and some live in my neighborhood. While you may believe this is true, I know it isn't.
AMEN! You probably haven't even had a real relationship yet! :)
Denise
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