QOTW..."Bad Grades & Extras"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
QOTW..."Bad Grades & Extras"
13
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:08am

Our Board Question of this week is the following... How do you balance extracirricular activities with school.


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Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:23am
We haven't had the situation come up yet because we don't overdo the extra curriculars.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:45am

I suppose it depends on what is meant by "grades slipping".

If it means they get a 95 instead of a 99 - - but they've also had that valuable experience like band along the way - - I'll take the 95 any time.

Now, if we are talking about actaully academic failure (D's and F's) I might react differently. But, in cases of grades like that I don't really believe the real or whole problem would be simply time spent in activities anyway. There is probably something more going on and it makes more sense to deal with that rather than remove one of the places that a child is actually facing success.

That said, I definitely make sure not to schedule activities every night of the week. We both get too stressed out when our week is like that. Right now, we have church activities on Wednesday night (Choir and bells) and also cello lessons that same night. So far, she hasn't hit a bad homework night on Wednesday, but it could be a problem if she does. She also has Girl Scouts twice a month on Tuesdays, and 1-2 weekend events for scouts each month.

I'm actually pretty glad that she hasn't had interest in sports activities. Around here, that schedule is ridiculous and means kids can't participate in anything thing else at all. Practice 3-4 nights a week, traveling half way across the state to play games. I'd rather see a child well-rounded and participate in 2-3 different activities that each meet one night a week than to spent 4-5 times a week on the same activity. Especially before the teen years. Later, in HS they may choose to specialize a bit more. But, I hate to see it this young.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:51am

We balance gymnastics and school basically the best we can. When Jordyn started competing we set out strict rules on how her grades affected whether or not she competed in and out of state, when she competed, and her practices. She knows that in order for her to continue competing that she has to keep her grades up, and that if her grades slip to a certain level, unless there are mitigating circumstances, she will miss practices and/or competitions because of it.

We have not reached that point yet luckily. There are times I know she is getting overwhelmed, when she begins "lashing out" a little more than usual or she gets much more moody about getting her homework done. But we have pretty much limited it now that she is only doing gymnastics because it takes up so much of her time and energy. She has talked about trying out for the tennis team next year, and we will have to sit down and evaluate whether she can handle 2 full time sports and schoolwork for 2 1/2 months next fall.

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Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 9:54am

Oh, I didn't mean to give the impression that I'd yank Kayleigh out of band for a 95.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 10:54am

Well, this really hasn't been an issue for us. If she really loved the activity and it was not the activity that was causing the grades to fall, I don't see the connection in punishing bad grades by taking away something unrelated. Now if the reason the grades are bad is because she's not doing homework because of the activity then yep, the activity bites the dust, no questions asked.


In our school its never been an issue, the sports = grades thing, but it is only elementary school. If the grades are bad the trick is to find out what is going on and fix that, not necessarily just arbitrary punishments (taking away something you like) to see if it fixes it. I know with some kids it gets to the point where logical consequences don't work and the last resort is to punish/motivate by taking away beloved activities, but I think first you should try and find the source of the problem.


Almost forgot to address they "how do you know its too much" question. If homework is not getting done, if you are now having to bascially force them out the door to do what they signed up for or if they are suffering the obvious signs of stress, poor eating and sleeping, then its too much and time to reassess.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 10:55am
I haven't had to work too hard to balance extracurriculars and school. Occasionally I have kept my daughter home from a practice in order to finish her school work (last year she had an astronomical amount of homework), but that has been infrequent. I have never had to consider dropping extracurriculars due to dropping grades.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 11:47am

Well, obviously as homeschoolers I have to approach this very differently, most of our "extracurriculars" are actually part of our curriculum as well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 1:07pm

Education is the most important thing happening in a child's life. That said, we have to realize that almost everything they do is potentially an educational experience. So I don't take the school day as the "given" priority. In fact, our time and balance was managed much better the past two years when both my dc were homeschooled. We always had plenty of time to get schoolwork (lessons) completed AND participate in a variety of "extra-curricular" activities. That was because the kids weren't wasting their time unproductively in a school building from 8-3:30 Mon-Fri.

Now that my dd is attending middle school (at a public school this year; next year to start at a private college prep school), we're still trying to achieve the balance. It's harder because the school thinks whatever they are doing should always be the top priority. Our family runs our life; the school does not run our life. Simple as that. In the "real" world, we have to balance our family life with our work life. I believe the sooner kids learn balancing, the better off they will be.

As far as grades, my kids have no problems mastering the schoolwork at their grade level. Sometimes dd has to deal with getting homework accomplished while also participating in activities 6 days a week. So far, it's not been a big issue. Time Management. Simple as that.

Avatar for cathiann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 3:20pm

Yes, my kids know that if they get bad grades, they lose extracurriculars.

Surviving Middle & High School
Avatar for ang2gals
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 4:03pm

Both my girls know that school is their first "job" that if grades aren't kept up then extras can't be had. Just like in real life you can't do everything so I do let them choose which activities they want to do esp if they are outside of school. Their school also has afterschool activities like art, language & music but if they conflict w/another activity such as a sports practice then Rachel will say "Oh yeah, its on the same day as xxxxx practice so I can't do it, never mind."

Rachel will get cranky & testy when she is overwhelmed by her schoolwork, thus adopting an attitude. When I tell her that if she can't handle the work & that we may have to drop the extracurricular she usually settles down & says she can do it. The big test will be if she can handle another sports activity along w/one she is currently doing because we are thinking of trying out for another.

-- Ang

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