QOTW....Dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
QOTW....Dating
14
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:45am

QOTW:


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:31am

I did not read the other post, I have only read the first one. So here is my thoughts.
Good question.

I would wait and see how Jackie acts and if I thought she could handle it. It would depend on the boy and how they were together, where they were going and plans on transportation. I would make my decision by the way Jackie acts. But as right now no way. She has not even gone to the movies with her friends yet....so only time will tell.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:42am
I think I one of the only moms here that thinks dating at 14 is wrong. I'm hoping other moms will speak up and agree with me.
I think on-on-one dating at 14 is too young. I tell my girls to concentrate more on school and friends, not boys. Boys can be just friends, not boyfriends and dating in middle school!
I keep my girls educated about sex and issues with boys. I think if they start making out at 14, it will lead to other sexual activities. I bet if you ask your husbands if they thought about getting some kind of sex at 14, they will say they did.
The other thread was a question about dating one-on-one at 14 in a movie theater. I said |
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 11:11am

Our view on dating is very different than most.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 11:36am

My thought is: I'm not ready yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I don't think DD is either. We try not to make it any big deal and it hasn't really come up yet. But I think "group dating" is okay while they are so young. Once they hit the upper years of High School you have to just trust them and keep communication lines open.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 11:56am

Well, my 16 yr old son JUST this summer showed an interest in a young lady and he spent their time together WITH HER FAMILY.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:45pm
I had a feeling you would agree with me on this one! I totally agree that kids at 14 are not ready to date.
My computer was acting weird, so i couldn't finish my first post...I don't agree that it is ok to date in middle school.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 1:18pm

Middle school?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 5:29pm

For some reason, in the small town we live in, dating starts about 5th grade. The kids start talking about who's "dating" whom. As it turns out, it's more of a hanging out together type of thing. I looked at it as just kids testing the waters and pretending to be dating. On that level, it's natural, just like it's natural for them to pretend to be "mommies" when they're six. But watching how these kids treated each other, I soon became shocked and put the brakes on my dd's participation in these activities. What these kids were learning about relationships was how to alienate your bff's, how to be superficial and meaningless in relating to the opposite sex, and generally they were getting it all wrong and developing psychologically warped perspectives all the way around. And none of this has anything to do with "sex" at all. They haven't even reached the point where sex muddies the waters, and they're already messed up!


So... no dating for now. I want my dc to develop meaningful and lasting relationships with friends as well as

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 6:24pm
I do not have a firm age for dating. We'll see in highschool, around 14. Alot will depend on her and him. There was lots of "dating" in her class last year. It was getting out of control at school. Of course at that age it meant hanging out at lunch but lots of drama with people pretending to like someone and dump them to get revenge for their friend who had been dumped. I have been telling Kristen to stay out of the drama. Not sure its worked but I informed her that 11 year olds do not date, that's a fact of life. If she came now at 12 and asked to go on a one-on-one date the answer would be no. Can they hang out at school at recess or events at school? Of course, I can't control that, but I don't want a formalized (by me) relationship at this age. But in a couple of years we'll see what happens.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 6:42pm

Hannah's in middle school. She's 13



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