serious husband question

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
serious husband question
9
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 2:17pm
Ok, I'm fed up. Right now I'm crying because I'm tired of arguing with my DH. Today, here's an example. It takes him 30 min. to come home from work, after an hour has passed I call him because I'm a little concerned. No answer. He calls me...right now it's been an hour and a half since he left. He says sorry he took a detour to find something.
All I've ever asked is to get a call letting me know he's running late. But then I'm acting like his mother, according to him. I'm sick of it all.
Please tell me I'm not the only wife that requests things like this.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 2:20pm
I expect the same respect and it did take a little bit for my DH to start doing those types of little things.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 2:42pm

If being late without notice is not a repetetive thing, I'd let it go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 2:51pm
good suggestion........ maybe your right. However he needs to come clean and say he was looking for a certain store or something like that. Just to say hes late does not cut it for me either. I would be concerned but thats me. Does this happen alot????
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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 3:11pm

If it happens quite often (like with my DH) then you have a valid point to be upset.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 4:40pm
Thanks everyone for the advice and responses. This doesn't happen frequently...but I just get more mad about it each time because I've asked him to call me when he's running late. He was late getting off work, which I understand...we have the same type of job and work at the same place! UGH. So, we argued for a shorter amount of time than usual, so that was good. A lot of my emotions stem from feeling disrespected and unloved. Probably because my ex was such a jerk and kept a lot of things from me.
In the past, my DH has been shopping when he was late...so that I understand. Today he was looking for something like a radio tower in a weird spot that he wanted to find because he saw it before and couldn't figure out what it was!! AAH! My DH always likes to explore and look at weird "men stuff". He gets home usually around 9am because he works at night.Today he was home at 11:15. Luckily he's off tonight.I go to work today at 2:15....so there's not much time in between for him to sleep before I leave. He is also an insomniac...so it bugs the crap out of me when he's not home to go to bed at a reasonable time. Luckily my older kids are old enough to help out with the 2 yo...while my DH sleeps some more. He said he wanted to unwind before coming home. I understand that, too...but I was more mad at the fact that he didn't call than him actually being so late....does that make sense? It's a respect thing IMO.
Then, to top it off, we got a bill from the state that we owe them taxes because our former crazy tax lady made a huge mistake in 2004.
I wonder if I'll ever be out of debt!
I am so glad I can come here and vent.
Thanks, ladies.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2005
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 4:55pm

Hugs! Yes I expect the same respect from my hubby.


Unfortunately my hubby does not work, been out of work for almost 4 years, but he does go out on occasion and I do expect a call when he leaves, what time he expects to be home etc....


Sorry you are down.


((((hugs))))


Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 5:24pm

I think that if he normally gets home at a certain time, and you expect him at that time, that a phone call would be common courtesy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 5:40pm

I agree with Mindy. When dh worked downtown or some place with a serious commute, it used to drive me crazy when he'd call at 7:00 saying he was leaving and I was holding dinner. We had numerous fights and he still didn't "get it". Now he mostly works from home. That has it's own set of challenges but we're working through them. have you explained to him in a calm moment what happens and how you feel when he pulls this kind of thing?

Sounds like there's a lot going on right now and it will be a little better when things cool down a bit. Good luck! We're here if you need us.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 10:36pm
Just tell him if you were his mother, you would want to know who, what, why and wehn, you just need to know when.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!