Should I Let Her Go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Should I Let Her Go?
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:03pm
Hi Ladies! Just wondering what you would do if you were faced with this issue...while talking to my mom today, she mentioned that she and grandpa would like to take my daughter, age 10, and her two female cousins, ages 10 and 11, on a cruise around the world next Spring. Yes, around the WORLD. They would be gone for *three whole months*.

Now, I do realize that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but it would just be so difficult to let her go. The reservations must be made within a couple of months, and I am going to have to make a decision soon. I know that DD will be safe, but it would be so hard to be away from her for such a long period if time. Also, she would have to be pulled out of school for the cruise.

I wouldn't be able to go with them as I have a little DS at home.


Thanks and take care, emi :)

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:11pm

Wow, emi, that's quite an offer. First off, does your dd want to go? I know my dd wouldn't! Personally, I think it's an awfully long trip for that age. It's very exciting, but how much will she get out of it from the travel aspect? I know when we travel with our kids, there's only so much we can show them before they just want to play in the pool! It's also a very long time to be away from you. If she were 15+ and the trip didn't interfere with school, my feelings would be different.

Are the cousins gung ho about it? I think it's terrific that your parents want to spend time with their grandchildren and do something so exciting. How about 2 weeks on an Alaskan cruise that doesn't interfere with school? Or, 2 weeks to Hawaii? You didn't say where you live, but you get the idea of what I mean. Take 2 weeks and see some of our country (oops, assuming you're American here!)

I'll be interested to see other responses. Please keep us posted on the plans!


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 8:34am
I was fortunate enough to travel all over Europe while I was in the military, and firmly believe that travel is an education all of its own. Your daughter would be exposed to a wide variety of new countries and new cultures and world history, and all of that can only broaden her horizons. At age 10, she's old enough to remember this for the rest of her life.

That said, I still have some questions about your parents' proposal:

1. Is your daughter the type who thrives on travel and new experieces as my daughter does, or does she crave the safe and familiar? If the latter, she's probably too young for this.

2. Although she's old enough to remember this for the rest of her life, she'd remember it even better if she were 18 or 20. I'm wondering if this is the right timing.

3. An around-the-world cruise means she's going to spend an awfully large proportion of her time on shipboard, in kid's clubs, the pool, and other entertainment venues instead of the more educational experiences of sightseeing and absorbing new cultures. If this were three months of land-based exploring, she'd actually be getting more benefit for the amount of time invested.

4. Couldn't your folks book a tour that coincides with your daughter's summer vacation, instead? As Janet suggested, perhaps a Hawaiian tour at Christmastime or an Alaskan cruise in the summer?

And, of course, I imagine you'll miss her if she's gone three whole months!

-- Stephanie

Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:36am

Geez!...couldn't they just take a Disney cruise?

I don't think I could let my daughter go for three months...I think it's too much at this age...if she were 18..yes, but 11!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 12:31pm

While conceding that this is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity, I wouldn't let my son go if our places were reversed.

Sherrie Rainbow

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 8:35am
Wow what an opportunity! It is a hard decision! First off, is hse mature enough for this? It would be hard for my dd, but she could do it. She goes away for over 3 weeks every summer, and hates coming home. Second, how is she with her cousins and grandparents? My dad would be throwing kids off the shop if he was with them for that long, he just isn't a big kid person. He wants to take my dd to Europe for a few weeks, and I am not sure if they can handle each other. Being away for that long from dd would take a toll on me, but I would consider what she was experiencing a worthy cause. Missing school for this, wouldn't bug me much. This would be so filled with education and experiences, school couldn't come close. She could write journals, take a photography class, etc... to get ready to go. I think you would have to talk to your parents about things too. What if she gets too homesick? How are they going to handle disapline issues, etc... If everything checked out, I guess I would send her. I figure, she may not get another chance to expand her horizens so much, at such a great age.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 9:27am

WOW, that is amazing, what an offer and what an experience it would be for your DD.

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