slow moving 11YO

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
slow moving 11YO
4
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:29pm
DD came home today at lunch quite upset that her band teacher singled her out and had her get ready before everyone else in the class. I asked her if she has been slow but she says there is someone else that has been just as slow, and of course she feel hard done by. I know my girl though and she is well known for dragging her heels and being last at just about everything...I understand where the teacher is coming from, because I have been there myself. Trying to get her to do anything is like pulling teeth, she does have ADHD which is part of the problem: she is soo easily sidetracked and distracted.
I suggested to her that she make it her goal to put her clarinet away in less than a minute and practice at home, I will time her. this way when she's at school she will be ready when everyone else is. They are having parent teacher interviews next week and I want to talk to the band teacher about it but DD says no way(I think she is worried the teacher will confirm that she slow getting ready to leave)not that i would be surprised. I'm thinking of talking to the Teacher anyways just to let her know DD was upset and how we were going to try to improve things.(and not mention it to DD)
I cant see any harm, what do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:34pm

As a mother to a slow mover myself, (DD 12), we had this same problem. We did practice at home, and I met with her instructor without her knowing. He confirmed her tardiness and had some good suggestions for us. DD is ADD, and also easily sidetracked. He suggested using a timer at our house for everything we asked her to do. It makes life so much easier. For example, to make her bed....we give her 10 minutes, more than ample time to make her bed. I set the timer and leave the room. Knowing she has a specific limit absolutely helps with her motivation to stay on task. It does get better. When DD was 11, I was really at my breaking point with it all, med weren't really helping so we made an active choice to take her off meds and work day in and day out to get a routine for her!

I say - meet with him - he may have other issues he needs to address!












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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 6:15pm
Definitely talk to the teacher. Of course our kids always say "don't talk about that" because they are afraid to be embarrassed or singled out, but too bad, so sad. My job is to talk to the teachers about problems. LOL I'm so harsh. But I'd talk to him and it may have been a one time thing, but if not I think your ideas about working on it at home are good.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 8:14am

I would let it go. You know that your dd is slow at times and you have taken steps to help her be ready on time so I don't see the point in bringing it up. I would focus more on the overall grade in band, than the little stuff. Just keep helping her overcome the little things, so that they don't build up on her.

JMO but there are more important things to be concerned about in school, than a child who took too long putting her clarinet away. If this is the only problem then I wouldn't worry about it.

stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 9:40am
its true, there are lots more important things than how fast the clarinet gets put away but DD doesnt' think so.
She came home all upset that the teacher made her get ready Before the others in class...other than that I think she has been doing really well, at least from my perspective but then again i am slightly biased.
I guess i'll find out next week when I see the teacher at parent/teacher interviews...its not that big a deal, but i'll probably mention it to the teacher and see what she has to say.