iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Sat, 11-08-2003 - 8:41am
What is normal social behavior for a 10 yo? Should they want social contact outside of school with a friend their age daily/every other day/2-3 times a week, once a week, weekly, monthly???

My dd switched schools in 3rd grade due to her school closing. She went to the new school with 2 other friends. One moved away before the end of the first year. The other dumped my dd as a friend...this one lives in our neighborhood so dd tried for a long time to "save" this no avail. Finally, this year, dd has 4 other girls that she likes and admires in her class...and I think the feeling is reciprocal. She has been invited to one of their houses a few times and we have reciprocated a few times. DD is very busy playing 3 instruments, and studying French outside of school and dance. So, when she had 3 days off this week for p/t conferences, I suggested she invite one of these girls over...she was more interested in spending "quality" time with me...this is nice...but can put a lot of pressure on me. What should I be expecting...I am so thrilled she finally has friends again. She is the type of girl that everyone likes....even the "tough" kids (except that one girl in the neighborhood!

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: lizrob2002
Sat, 11-08-2003 - 4:13pm

I think it really depends on the child. We've been in a somewhat similar situation. I have 11yo boy/girl twins in 6th grade. In 5th grade, they started middle school, with most of their friends going to the other middle school in town. Neither of them has started inviting new kids over yet. They both have new friends, and my dd was invited to several b'day parties this summer. Like your dd, she is well-liked by different types of kids. But, she doesn't seem to want to invite any of her new girlfriends over. She prefers to play with the neighborhood kids. My son, who is slower to make new friends, is finally talking about some new boys, but also only invites over one of his old friends, and that's only once in a while.

So... I think some kids are more social than others. Mine don't seem to be inviting kids over right now. I just let them know they are welcome to do that, and to just let me know when they would like to. After that, I leave it up to them.

I know exactly what you mean about pressure on you to entertain your dd for 3 days, because my dd can also be demanding of attention at times. But, I really appreciate she wants to spend time with me. Soon enough, she'll definitely be more interested in her friends!

Welcome to our board, and thanks for jumping in with a great question.


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
In reply to: lizrob2002
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 10:06am

Justan is still in elementary school.

100% all boy~