Speaking of "THE TALK" ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Speaking of "THE TALK" ...
24
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 2:00pm

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27706917/?GT1=43001


I just read this and it freaked me out a little... your thoughts?


Nov-Queen.gif image by foxymomof3

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 11:34am

Nicole, I'm alot older than you (47) and I'm freaked out too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 12:34pm

>>> I thought that with all the information out there, kids today would be more educated about birth control and STDs!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 3:38pm
I am the same age as you.Honestly when I was growing up most of the girls I hung out with did not have sex in H/S.SOme girls did and they did have babies and no on really shunned them,but it was news.I would like to think that with all the info on birth control and STD available today kids would use condoms or whatever to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.However you can know everythoing and if you don't use Birth control or condoms you can get STD or have a baby.It does surprise me that these girls seem to want to have babies.I've told Gabby the only way you can be 100% certain not to get an STD or have a baby is not to have sex.However she also knows how to prevent this stuff should she chose to have sex.I do think it is better to wait until you are older to have sex,but that isn't always the case.Plus most of the time the girl ends up getting the short end of the stick if she becomes pregnant.Boys can just walk away.Not sure how one should teach sex ed if kids are not going to use the information we give them.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 4:05pm

OK, here's my big confession (And just think---I barely know you guys!! Will you still respect me in the morning? LOL!): I had sex in high school. I lost my virginity at 16 to my DH (We were high school sweethearts). He was also 16 and a virgin. We'd been dating for about 6 months before it happened. He was the only guy I was with throughout high school (I broke up with him after we graduated and we went our separate ways for college, and dated other people).

Now here's the thing---we were totally in love with each other, and it was this huge amazing thing for us, but it was also something we NEVER WOULD HAVE TOLD EVERYONE. I told two of my sisters and my best friend, and that was it. I felt that if people knew I was sleeping with Michael, they would think I was a little wh*re-dog, even though I'm sure everyone figured it out. This was back in 1985-86.

As far as getting pregnant, I would have freaked out if I had. Fortunately FOR ME, my DH was already physiology-savvy and bought some condoms. But I'm sure if he hadn't, I would have become pregnant, because there was no way I would have had the guts to go to the doctor to get protection. I'm lucky he was on top of it. Had I gotten pregnant, my parents would have probably sent me to Greece (Where they're from) because they would have been so ashamed.

All that being said, we had 2 pregnant girls in our class in high school. One of them took her junior year off, and returned to school in the class behind us. The other had the baby after we graduated. No one gave them a hard time to their faces, but there was a lot of whispering behind their backs. Which was actually hypocritical, because from what I figure, about 40% of my class were not virgins at graduation.

I think the sex in high school has been going on forever. But it seems to me that now it is happening earlier (I would have never done it in middle school, for example; and no one tht I knew did it then either). And I also think there is much less of a stigma for pregnant teens. I mean---even the VP candidate for the USA had a pregnant unwed teen. I think the fact that the stigma has lessened is a good thing. What worries me is if it becomes something to be desired, or something that gives you status, because IMHO most teenage kids are just not ready to be parents.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 4:20pm
I always love reading your story.You were so blessed to find the love of your life in H/S and you were obviously very much in love and you had a boyfriend who was very responsible.What scares me about some of the kids today is the lack of responsiblity they show.I figure if you are old enough to be sexually active you should be mature enough and responsible enough to take precautions so you do not become pregnant or get STD's.I am taking it you did not tell your mom?I graduated in 79 and I don't have a clue how many girls were or were not virgins when we graduated.I do remember being over my friends house and spying on her brother and his friend when they were going through a yearbook and they where talking about who put out and who did not(how sick is that)so since I did no have a boyfriend inH/S I certainly had no desire to have sex with just anyone.Had I been in love with someone it may have been a different story.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 4:34pm

Your story sounds like mine...I lost my virginity in HS to my high school sweetheart (now my DH). I was 17 and he was 19. I didn't tell ANYONE! Not my sister or friends for the very same reason you didn't tell. The kids these days? BRAG ABOUT IT! I have a youth group that I mentor and they are very sexual and OPEN about it. They talk about it on MySpace and Facebook. They have very adult conversations about what they want to do when they see their BF/GF. Its terrible. I am sad that the stigma is gone. Its so acceptable to be pregnant. It is not cute or charming in any way to see a young faced teen with a big protruding belly. It wasn't cute when I did it (I had my son when I was 19) and it still

 

 

Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 5:29pm

We didn't have a lot of pregnant girls at my high school, I didn't mean to infer that.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 8:57pm

I graduated from an small town north of Boston in 1984.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 1:08am

WOW how sad---sure it was not a great thing for her to do, but let's ostracize her and then blame her for a crap life she will lead, ugh!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 1:00pm

Oh, HECK NO, I didn't tell my mom, LOL! My mom and I were not close like you and Gabby. She would have blown a gasket. . . Unfortunately, she found my diaries (hidden between my mattresses) right after our senior prom, and read them. She found out what Michael and I were up to. She proceeded to call *his* mom and tell her, and then she made my life a living he77. It got so bad that she "forced" me to break up with him (In retrospect, she couldn't have, because I turned 18, but I succumbed to her pressure). We had been planning to elope, LOL! It was actually a good thing we broke up for a few years, because we both grew up, and when we got back together, we were ready to get engaged (in our 20's).

Oh well, it's all in the past now, right?




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