sports question

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
sports question
2
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 2:20am
Help. My 12 year old daughter really wanted to play on a soccer team this year but after only three practices has decided that she isn't interested. After she confessed, I remained calm and said we will discuss the issue tomorrow. I could use some words of wisdom at this early state of the "negotiations". At the beginning, we talked extensively and she was sure that this was something she wanted to pursue. I have an inkling that she isn't as good as she wants to be and is a little intimidated by the other girls who have been on the team longer.
Avatar for keke0116
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 6:07am
When it comes to team sports, my philosophy has always been that if you join a team, you need to stick it out the entire season. It doesn't matter if you aren't a superstar, if you don't play key positions, if other kids are better than you. You've made a commitment, and by quitting a 'team' you are letting other people down. Also, often in a team situation, by being put on a team, there are other kids who wanted to play that didn't get the opportunity (spaces are limited.) You don't have to play next season or ever again, but I ask my kids BEFORE signing them up if this is something they really want to do, and if they commit, then they're in it for the season. (Exceptions to this are sports like gymnastics which doesn't have a 'season' but is continuous, or karate which isn't a 'team' but a class. In those cases, they need to continue until it's time for the next payment, and then they can stop if they want.)

DS (11) has been playing sports since he was 4 ... I remember some baseball seasons early on where he played the outfield, sat on the bench, and was in the bottom of the batting order, and that's not easy for a kid (and it's not easy, as a parent, to watch.) But, he worked harder, and earned his place in the infield and the top 1/2 of the batting order. If we only do the things we excel at, we'll never really learn other things.

Soccer is a great sport and great exercise. Of course, if this is her first season, there will be lots of girls that are better than her ... but rather than quitting because she isn't at that same level, she should look at it as a learning opportunity ... learn from the experienced players and she'll become that much stronger.

Unless there is a medical reason not to play, or a serious conflict with a coach, I'd insist she stick it out, make the best of it, try her hardest ... and if she decides not to play next season, then don't sign up for that one.

Good luck.

Nancy

Nancy 

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Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:02am
Welcome! I tend to agree with Nancy's excellent response. At 12, she was able to make a committment and understand what that means. Especially since it's only been 3 practices, she may still get in the swing of things. Has she played before? Let her know it takes time to catch up to kids who've been playing since they were 5, but it's certainly not impossible. Emphasize the positives - exercise, social - or is social the problem? Something going on with the other girls?

This is a really tough one. I know how difficult it is to motivate a preteen who doesn't want to do something. Good luck, and please let us know what happens!

Janet

Janet


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