My inlaws live 2 1/2 hours away. They are involved in Connor's life but not all that much. They see him about six times per year at the most and take him for about 5 days in the summer. They are extremly critical of my parenting and my FIL has actually used the words "I blame you" when refering to problems that my ds has had in the past. He's also emailed dh and said that "A good parent wouldn't...." in reference to me. Yet will comment on what a neat kid he is.
I'm thinking; Sucky parenting does that you know... it produces "neat" kids. Either that or he's such a neat kid dispite my sucky parenting, take your pick.
My mom on the other hand is very supportive of Connor. She lives 30 mins away. She goes to most of his school activities. She talks to him on the phone every week, takes him out to lunch and she spends a full day with him every month. She used to be critical of my parenting that was when he was younger and she thought we were expecting too much from him. Very structured days and I'm somewhat strict in my parenting. Things she let go when I was a kid, I don't allow him to get away with. Then again it's because she never stopped certain behaviors with me and what they evolved into that I became strict reguarding those things with my son. She was too permissive IMO. For the most part though she doesn't critize and thinks I'm doing a good job.
My husband's parents are not involved at all. They made it clear they didn't want anymore grandchildren and they only see the girls a few times a year when we take them. My parents are very involved going to most all fo their activites and seeing them almost everyday. They help a lot with running them back and forht when we can't go in as many directions as we need to. Where do they live?
My parents live about 2 miles from us and my husband's parents live about 4 hours away. However they weren't involved when we lived a few miles from them.
Do they critique the way you parent? My husband's parents probably do behind our backs. My parents are more likely to give them something we won't than actually come out and say something. However, we are very lucky that they are so willing to be there for the girls so I try very hard to let it ride.
My husband's parents live about 2 hours away. They have never spent any time with our son in his eleven years, and in all honesty we don't want them to. They were horrible parents to my husband, and they are horrible people in general. They have no idea about our parenting skills, as they are never around, and don't care to be.
My mother lives about one minutes walking distance away from us. My son has never once spent the night at her home, and I can count on one hand the times she has watched him, when we needed a sitter.
She is the buy them off type. You know shows up on a random day with a load of crap, as if it equals time, care, and love.
I recently got very mad at her for never watching my son, who is independant, I mean he's 11 not 2! I called her in a real bind, needing a sitter, my stupid mistake for every assuming she would give a crap enough about me to help out when I really need her.
She is only 57 years old and she acts like she is 97. HE excuse for not watching my son is always the same... I'm too tired or too sore.
We have zero support system from either set of grandparents, and it is heart breaking, not only do my husband and I relive all of the crappy things our parents put us through when we were kids, we have to suffer knowing that our parents ignore our son as we were ignored.
my parents are very much a part of my life. They do add their two cents in but I overrule sometimes and what i say sticks. We all get along great. Now I had my grandmother and my fathers parents alive still. My grandmother (mothers side) she was wonderful she passed away when dd turned 7. She was great adored dd and saw her all the time. she like to babysit her. She adored that. My dad parents (still around) do not see us much. They live about three hours away and we see them on holidays. The grandmother will add in how she thinks dd should be raised and tells me what she thinks.......... but it goes in one ear and out the other..... we do not speak much.....
My MIL and her husband live in FL and don't see the kids ver often. They call once a month or so. From time to time she makes comments about how we raise the kids but nothing major.
My parents live about 2 hrs away and see the kids almost monthly. They've taken both kids on individual vacations of a week or two and have them visit for a week in the summer sometimes. The are both retired so they have time to come to the kids events (concerts, soccer games, swim meets, etc.)
Comments on our parenting from my parents...You bet. My mom was an elementary school teacher and principal so she has plenty of ideas about raising kids and does not hesitate to share them. We've had a knock down-drag out or two. She loves to send me newspaper articles about parenting and that's become a running joke between us. For awhile her commenting really really bothered me but I came to realize that she only wanted the best for all of us. Much as I hate to admit it, she has alot of good ideas and with two gifted kids, her help in dealing with schools, testing, etc. it invaluable. She's got a Master's if gifted education so it would be stupid of me not enlist her help.
My children's grandparent are very involved in their lives.
Where do they live?
My mom, my dad died before they were born, and my inlaws all live in town. My mom has early Alzheimers and I am her primary caregiver. The kids come along a lot while I run errands with her. I want them to spend as much time as possible with her now while she only has mild memory loss. My inlaws see the kids about once a month. They are quite elderly and are increasingly requiring more care as well so they tag along with dh as he does stuff for them.
Are they involved in your tweener's lives? My mother is very involved in my kids' world. My dad is too, but not as much as my mom. My in-laws just buy them tons of stuff. I give them dates of concerts, plays, belt promotions and such, they won't even call to see how things went!!!!!! They are both retired and watch TV all day. I guess the call would interfere with the movie. My mom and dad (they are divorced) take them on trips, comes to some of their events, have the kids stay at their houses, etc... My mom takes them bicycling, kayaking and more!! She bought ds a kayak for his 9th birthday and ski lift tickets for the kids for Christmas then took them out on the slopes!! I had both my Grammother's untils my mom's mom passed away last Septe,bber and they love my kdis as well. They have their own views on raising kids, but that is OK. they loved to hear my kids sing, play instuments, see what they made or drew, etc...
Where do they live? My mom is 30 minutes away. She comes once a week to have lunch with ds, and if the kids are off of school and I have to work, she comes and gets them both for lunch. My dad lives in Europe a few months a year and 3 hours away when he lives in the States. My in-laws live just 35 miles away, but it may as well be in another state.
Do they critique the way you parent? My mom, YES!!! "They are too busy", "they shoudl have been born closer together", "I never let you keep your room like that", sigh!! But since she does so much with them, I just roll my eyes. My dad and I got into big time a few years aga and I pretty much stopped seeing him at all. We have since mended the fence and he has totally layed off. My in-laws don't really care. They do ask the kids if they ever get to watch TV or play since we keep them busy, but that is about it for comments.
My dad is very supportive of my parenting and frequently tells me how great he thinks my kids are and how impressed he is with my parenting. He lives pretty far away but he emails the kids regularly and coordinates a yearly trip for us all to meet halfway so we can spend time together.
My in-laws, cough cough...ahem...well, lets just say they're the most prejudiced and negative people I've ever had the unfortunate pleasure to be related to! LOL! I'm too fat (at 140lbs) , I married him for their money (ACK..WHAT MONEY?) and they've infused my 16 yr old with their same negative attitudes. They fly them down for spring break every year and a week during the summer. My daughter comes home rolling her eyes at them but my son thinks they rock and adopts their personalities. Once...ONCE they complimented me saying I was a phenominal parent when I was at a very low point, but otherwise they make sure I know that THEY would do it differently! LOL! Hmmm we'll just say it started when I chose to breastfeed instead of boiling glass bottles all day!
I've matured enough to NOT take it personally and I focus my mental health on my loves of my life and those who support me! Life's too short to waste it pissed off at my in-laws! LOL!
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My inlaws live 2 1/2 hours away. They are involved in Connor's life but not all that much. They see him about six times per year at the most and take him for about 5 days in the summer. They are extremly critical of my parenting and my FIL has actually used the words "I blame you" when refering to problems that my ds has had in the past. He's also emailed dh and said that "A good parent wouldn't...." in reference to me. Yet will comment on what a neat kid he is.
I'm thinking; Sucky parenting does that you know... it produces "neat" kids. Either that or he's such a neat kid dispite my sucky parenting, take your pick.
My mom on the other hand is very supportive of Connor. She lives 30 mins away. She goes to most of his school activities. She talks to him on the phone every week, takes him out to lunch and she spends a full day with him every month. She used to be critical of my parenting that was when he was younger and she thought we were expecting too much from him. Very structured days and I'm somewhat strict in my parenting. Things she let go when I was a kid, I don't allow him to get away with. Then again it's because she never stopped certain behaviors with me and what they evolved into that I became strict reguarding those things with my son. She was too permissive IMO. For the most part though she doesn't critize and thinks I'm doing a good job.
stacy
Are they involved in your tweener's lives?
My husband's parents are not involved at all. They made it clear they didn't want anymore grandchildren and they only see the girls a few times a year when we take them. My parents are very involved going to most all fo their activites and seeing them almost everyday. They help a lot with running them back and forht when we can't go in as many directions as we need to.
Where do they live?
My parents live about 2 miles from us and my husband's parents live about 4 hours away. However they weren't involved when we lived a few miles from them.
Do they critique the way you parent?
My husband's parents probably do behind our backs. My parents are more likely to give them something we won't than actually come out and say something. However, we are very lucky that they are so willing to be there for the girls so I try very hard to let it ride.
Tonya
My husband's parents live about 2 hours away.
They have never spent any time with our son in
his eleven years, and in all honesty we don't
want them to.
They were horrible parents to my husband, and
they are horrible people in general.
They have no idea about our parenting skills,
as they are never around, and don't care to be.
My mother lives about one minutes walking distance
away from us.
My son has never once spent the night at her home,
and I can count on one hand the times she has
watched him, when we needed a sitter.
She is the buy them off type.
You know shows up on a random day with a load
of crap, as if it equals time, care, and love.
I recently got very mad at her for never watching my
son, who is independant, I mean he's 11 not 2!
I called her in a real bind, needing a sitter,
my stupid mistake for every assuming she would
give a crap enough about me to help out when I
really need her.
She is only 57 years old and she acts like she is 97.
HE excuse for not watching my son is always the
same...
I'm too tired or too sore.
We have zero support system from either set of grandparents,
and it is heart breaking, not only do my husband and I
relive all of the crappy things our parents put us
through when we were kids, we have to suffer knowing
that our parents ignore our son as we were ignored.
Great topic!
Are they involved in your tweener's lives?
MIL and FIL could really care less about andrew.
My MIL and her husband live in FL and don't see the kids ver often. They call once a month or so. From time to time she makes comments about how we raise the kids but nothing major.
My parents live about 2 hrs away and see the kids almost monthly. They've taken both kids on individual vacations of a week or two and have them visit for a week in the summer sometimes. The are both retired so they have time to come to the kids events (concerts, soccer games, swim meets, etc.)
Comments on our parenting from my parents...You bet. My mom was an elementary school teacher and principal so she has plenty of ideas about raising kids and does not hesitate to share them. We've had a knock down-drag out or two. She loves to send me newspaper articles about parenting and that's become a running joke between us. For awhile her commenting really really bothered me but I came to realize that she only wanted the best for all of us. Much as I hate to admit it, she has alot of good ideas and with two gifted kids, her help in dealing with schools, testing, etc. it invaluable. She's got a Master's if gifted education so it would be stupid of me not enlist her help.
Are they involved in your tweener's lives?
My children's grandparent are very involved in their lives.
Where do they live?
My mom, my dad died before they were born, and my inlaws all live in town. My mom has early Alzheimers and I am her primary caregiver. The kids come along a lot while I run errands with her. I want them to spend as much time as possible with her now while she only has mild memory loss.
My inlaws see the kids about once a month. They are quite elderly and are increasingly requiring more care as well so they tag along with dh as he does stuff for them.
Do they critique the way you parent?
No, they never have. They
Linda
mom to
Alex (16), Rachel (14), Matthew (12)
Are they involved in your tweener's lives? My mother is very involved in my kids' world. My dad is too, but not as much as my mom. My in-laws just buy them tons of stuff. I give them dates of concerts, plays, belt promotions and such, they won't even call to see how things went!!!!!! They are both retired and watch TV all day. I guess the call would interfere with the movie. My mom and dad (they are divorced) take them on trips, comes to some of their events, have the kids stay at their houses, etc... My mom takes them bicycling, kayaking and more!! She bought ds a kayak for his 9th birthday and ski lift tickets for the kids for Christmas then took them out on the slopes!! I had both my Grammother's untils my mom's mom passed away last Septe,bber and they love my kdis as well. They have their own views on raising kids, but that is OK. they loved to hear my kids sing, play instuments, see what they made or drew, etc...
Where do they live? My mom is 30 minutes away. She comes once a week to have lunch with ds, and if the kids are off of school and I have to work, she comes and gets them both for lunch. My dad lives in Europe a few months a year and 3 hours away when he lives in the States. My in-laws live just 35 miles away, but it may as well be in another state.
Do they critique the way you parent? My mom, YES!!! "They are too busy", "they shoudl have been born closer together", "I never let you keep your room like that", sigh!! But since she does so much with them, I just roll my eyes. My dad and I got into big time a few years aga and I pretty much stopped seeing him at all. We have since mended the fence and he has totally layed off. My in-laws don't really care. They do ask the kids if they ever get to watch TV or play since we keep them busy, but that is about it for comments.
Edited 4/26/2007 12:14 pm ET by my2kidsmom199498
Edited 4/26/2007 12:16 pm ET by my2kidsmom199498
Ramona Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!
My dad is very supportive of my parenting and frequently tells me how great he thinks my kids are and how impressed he is with my parenting. He lives pretty far away but he emails the kids regularly and coordinates a yearly trip for us all to meet halfway so we can spend time together.
My in-laws, cough cough...ahem...well, lets just say they're the most prejudiced and negative people I've ever had the unfortunate pleasure to be related to! LOL! I'm too fat (at 140lbs) , I married him for their money (ACK..WHAT MONEY?) and they've infused my 16 yr old with their same negative attitudes. They fly them down for spring break every year and a week during the summer. My daughter comes home rolling her eyes at them but my son thinks they rock and adopts their personalities. Once...ONCE they complimented me saying I was a phenominal parent when I was at a very low point, but otherwise they make sure I know that THEY would do it differently! LOL! Hmmm we'll just say it started when I chose to breastfeed instead of boiling glass bottles all day!
I've matured enough to NOT take it personally and I focus my mental health on my loves of my life and those who support me! Life's too short to waste it pissed off at my in-laws! LOL!
Denise
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