too much esteem building at kids school!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2008
too much esteem building at kids school!
9
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 1:47pm

This is a vent: Sorry if this is in the wrong spot.

My children's school has taken a horrible turn with their esteem pop/psyche crapola agenda; here are some examples:

1. home fun instead of home work I'm NOT kidding!
2. contracts for no bullying (which I though would work with my oldest, but now realized are totally worthless and which the administrators would take off their rose colored glasses.
3. "Filling your bucket" attitude.
4. Everyone's a winner including running races---gimme a break
5. Tests are called celebrations, again not kidding!

I just called a local Catholic elementary school to see if they do this nonsense and am waiting to hear back. My public school district is over the top.

It's no wonder kids are so bratty and feel entitled. There I feel better. Hopefully the Catholic school won't let me down

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 2:40pm

Hmm. . . I don't know enough about all this to really comment on it, but the Contract Against Bullying actually sounds good. Bullying is such a big problem. But I don't know about the tests being called "Celebrations" LOL! Our school district has a mnemonic that they use with the kids about building self-esteem, and acceptance of others that are different, and I think it's a good thing. I've had no problem with it.

I'm just curious---what is your main complaint about this? I'm not trying to be argumentative. I just think I'm missing something. Too much acceptance and goodness can't be bad, right? I can see if they are allowed to get away with a bunch of stuff without consequences though. Maybe that's the problem?




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 2:55pm

The problem as I see it is that we aren't preparing our children for the very real disappointments of life. Not everyone CAN win, that's reality. Letting children learn that losing is just fine isn't good for them, IMO. I teach my children that winning is the best, but if we lose we must do so graciously. I teach my kids to be competitive without being mean about it, if that makes sense.

Tests aren't meant to be fun, they are meant to test our knowledge. To me naming them silly things is just masking the reality of the fact that kids need to study/work hard to succeed.

I do think these are insidious examples of how we aren't encouraging children to be responsible, we are allowing a sense of complacency to flourish. Who cares who wins? Don't work too hard for that test, it's all in good fun.

Self esteem should come from within, from a job well done, from a sense of accomplishment. Certainly I encourage, praise, and boost my kids ego when it's appropriate.

The bullying stuff sounds appropriate, but from the OP I got the feeling it was a policy on paper only, not in reality.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 3:07pm
That is all ridiculous, IMO. Kids these days need to accept there are winners and losers and there are TESTS! I heard at some school in Australia they are banning red ink to correct papers! And somewhere they are trying to get rid of an "F" grade.
Give me a break. Kids will never learn how to face the REAL world. Life isn't always fair.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 3:10pm

Goodness Nancy! Your sentiments mirror my own (often actually) .....


 

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 3:20pm

I have to agree with you Nancy, although again with the bullying, if the school is taking a proactive and active turn at making sure bullying isn't happening, then I am all for it.


I was talking with the gym teacher during field when I volunteered at Jordyn's 5th grade class in Michigan and his one biggest complaint was how poorly kids these days had learned, or not learned, sportsmanship, and how to lose at things.

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Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 8:30am

I would share your sentiments, Greenie.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 8:56am

I agree with what you said too Nancy.


We don't even have "F's" in our grading system here.

Avatar for ang2gals
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 10:08am

My girls ES & MS also have anti-bullying programs but I'm not sure how much value they actually are. The whole entitlement culture where everyone gets a participation "trophy" is what I have issues with too. The ES level does it more so than MS/HS. For example, there are no longer 1st-3rd place ribbons on field day (like when I was in ES umpteen yrs ago ;-) but participation yellow ribbons for all. Ooooohhhkay....so I can understand where you're coming from.


(I also agree w/Nancy & Mindy)

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Avatar for sesamemom98
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 10:27am

You just typed up my thoughts on this subject.

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