Too much help?
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| Sat, 09-20-2003 - 8:50pm |
Let me add at this time that Kevin (although 'gifted') has ADHD as well as auditory processing problems. He's had some fine motor skill issues which make handwriting somewhat difficult for him at times. SO, we have HOURS of work ahead of us, for a kid that has some trouble paying attention (not medicated currently for that) as well as handwriting problems.
I was torn ... part of me wanted him to bumble through this on his own, take a failing (or not so great) grade and 'learn' from the experience. Part of me KNOWS he's capable of more than he's showing, and wants to help him. Let him SEE that he IS capable, and help him get a decent grade in hopes of him feeling good and proud, and wanting to keep working hard.
SO, I gave him my day and helped. I read WITH him ... where he'd read a page and I'd read 2-3 to get through the book quicker. (He had chosen "Around the World in 80 Days" which fit perfectly for the time line.) He had, as I said, laid out the words for the crossword puzzle, so while he was reading, I went ahead and did the puzzle itself in Excel ... His handwriting is atrocious and it's been suggested that he use the computer as much as possible. I pretty much did the crossword puzzle project. Well, he laid it out AND looked up the definitions ... but I made it LOOK nice.
As far as the time line, we read it together. Then, I had him DICTATE to me a dozen or so different 'events' he wanted to include, and I typed them in WORD. He then used my print program, copied and pasted from WORD into that program ... I had gotten him started, but he did cut/paste, and then selected pictures to include in the time line. This printed on like 6-7 pages, and I did tape it up for him so it was like a banner.
Too much help? Now, he really did a lot of work (although a lot of it was with me cracking the whip and forcing him to stay on task.) I know that he never would have finished it without my help ... and it certainly is a lot nicer than if he'd done it on his own. I don't feel like I did it for him or anything, but I'm wondering if I did too much. My HOPE is that he sees how easy things are IF he just does it ... and that he'll feel proud of his work/efforts so that next time, he'll be in a better position to work more independently. I know he has some 'issues' and I try not to let any be a crutch for him. (Heck, he doesn't even KNOW he has ADHD or auditory processing problems.)
I am proud of the fact that he really did stay focused most of the day ... and we worked on this thing from 1:30 - 6:30 without any break (other than a phone call or the bathroom.)
But, is this TOO MUCH? I'm not the type of mom to DO the science fair projects or book reports. Did I overstep, or what?
Nancy
Best Always,
Sherrie
Sherrie![Rainbow]()
I, as a child had all of the problems you just described. (still do, I just hide it well) I was VERY easily discouraged. When I worked HARD, I still got a C, or lower. No matter how hard I tried, it was just not very good. (according to my teachers) It is hard to want to put forth any effort, when you know the outcome will be the same as little or no effort.
So, with that said....I would have helped him just the way you did.
Besides, even I could'nt get through that book. (it's boring) I haven't even watched the movie all the way through. It impossible to get excited about a book project when the book is dull. I was more of a "Trixie Belden" kind of girl anyway.
I help my daughter occasionaly. Last year (fourth grade) she had a HUGE newspaper project due, and it was impossible for her to do it well without help. It took three adults and her working HOURS and HOURS on this stupid thing. I am still mad at her teacher for assigning such a big project. My daughter had the choice of keeping her fourth grade teacher for fifth..I said "NO"!
As far as the book, he actually read the last chapter after the first 40-50 pages, so all along, he knew how it was going to end. No matter how 'boring' it is, I can't imagine doing that. But, I think it made it harder for him to get through 'cause he knew what the ending was.
I just wish that Kevin could see that this was a 'fun' project. HE is the one that turned it into a chore by not allocating his time better. Hopefully next time, he'll plan a little better.
Nancy
Nancy
<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" />N
Nancy
<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" />I hope Kevin learned his lesson to start the book sooner! Perhaps spending this intense day finishing everything at once was enough to teach him that lesson without you letting him fail. I do have to say, though, that Sam once misunderstood the directions about a project and when it was due, and had to do it one night and turn it in a day late. This was a small project and not a big deal, but he felt AWFUL that it was late and the teacher made clear to him it was his mistake. Since then, he's very proactive on starting projects ahead of time!
I do think teachers expect a lot of these kids and us parents when it comes to some of these projects!
Janet
Janet
But, I don't want this experiment to back fire. Last night, I was in a horrible mood ... my stress level has simply been through the roof lately ... and he had a Science assignment to complete. Every 2 weeks, they have to read a science-related article, and fill out a report form on it. It's like 'current events' or a simple 'book report' format ... title, author, source of the article ... write 10 sentences about the article, then give your opinion. Well, he started in with 'can you help me?' and I didn't ... he whined louder, and I stood firm. I think DH finally stepped in and sat with him as he did it, but I don't want Kevin to think that because I gave him my day, that I'm willing to 'do' his homework from here on in. I'll answer a question, or provide some guidance, but I wasn't about to read an article to help him come up with his opinion ... geesh! SO, I'm really taking a backseat now and seeing what happens.
It's amazing how different kids can be ... Kelli (my 7 y.o.) had to do a diarama last year on a book she read, and she was doing "The Little Mermaid." She had us go out for seafood for dinner 'cause she needed a clam shell (something Ariel could sit on.) She cut slits on the top of the box and stuck in popsicle sticks so that her characters (Ariel, Sebastian and Flounder) could actually move from side to side. I "suggested" that we stop at a fish store and get some of those plastic aquarium plants to glue inside to give it a 3-D effect ... and she told me that it was a good idea BUT it was MY idea and not her's, so she isn't going to do it. Sigh! I couldn't TOUCH her project (except to cut the slits in the top 'cause she was having trouble and I didn't want her cutting off her fingers.) Although she isn't always focused on her homework, and she'll procrastinate as long as I let her, when it comes to projects, there is NO HELP ALLOWED.
Nancy
Nancy
<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" />My dd is just like yours!
Karen