Treatening to run away from home?

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Treatening to run away from home?
4
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:42am
repost from mom_in_tx: Hi new here to this board, have a question about son wanting to run away

Hi I'm new here having just come from the 8-9 board. My ds turned 10 last month. He's in 4th grade.

Has anyone here ever had a child threaten to run away from home? My son threatened for the first time today, because he is tired of homework, and I had been on him today about being disrespectful. Nothing earth shattering (except maybe to him).

Our eldest son never tried that one, but I've heard it's normal for kids to entertain the idea at some point. My son has a plan to go over to a friend's house who lives about two miles from here in the same neighborhood. I'm sure the friend has no idea, and his mom would call me straight away.

I found out because he confided in my neighbor and she told me when the coast was clear a few minutes later. Bless her heart. Of course I'm worried, but if he plans to go to his friend's house I'm not as worried as if he wanted to cross the local highway or something. By the way he did not tell me and maybe I should have a casual conversation about it with him. But still I'm concerned and not sure how to handle it. My gut says follow him like the mother in the Runnaway Bunny book, but I'd like to hear any experiences you have had.

Janet


Jewish Family Life

Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:48am
Welcome, mom_in_tx! I don't have any advice on this one, but I'm glad you've moved up to join us! Hope to see you often!

Janet

Janet


Jewish Family Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 2:55pm
My DS has said many times that he wants to go live with his dad and once actually left the apt. I can't remember now why he was so upset that particular time, but I do remember that he didn't even take anything with him. Usually, it's just the everyday things: making him do his homework or his chores, or not letting him go play outside in the dark. I think it is pretty normal, and kids tend to get over soon. I remember once when DS was very upset and thought that no one loved him, I reminded him of all the people that do love him and that would miss him if he were gone. That did the trick and he felt better afterwards.

I have no advice, just empathy. Let's both hope that they're getting this out of their system early and we'll have smooth sailing as teens. HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Teena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 12:07am
Thanks you made me smile! Yes My H and I have talked about it and over the next few days this theme will weave itself into our conversations with our ds and hopefully he will feel better about it. Like you did, and we have to be careful because he is one sharp kid and will figure out our neighbor told if we're not oh-so-smooth. I've been giving him extra hugs today too.

Thanks for everyone who replied - I just love these boards!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 4:59am
Welcome to the board. I posted a reply yesterday but see now that it has disappeared LOL. Got caught up in one of those first day glitches I suppose.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. My dd threatens to run away all the time to try and get her way and I always offer to help her pack LOL. That immediately turns off the tantrum and sends her on to find something to do!

I think I would call the friend's mom and give her a heads up just in case he does try it. I would also ask her to make up a list of household chores for him to do and have her tell him that sure he can stay but at her house everyone works as a family, so here is his list of chores to do. Make him see that his house isn't the only one with rules and chores!

Also if this comes up with you I would have a talk with him about what being a family means. Point out to him all the things you do for him. Cooking, laundry, dishes, driving him places, getting him up on time for school, spending money on gifts for friend's birthdays, etc. Then tell him that if he expects those things to continue, he has to pull his weight at home too by doing certain chores.

Good luck and welcome to the board!

Sherri