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| Tue, 04-03-2007 - 9:22am |
Restaurant Takes On Kids Behaving Badly
Should Parents Have to Leave Children Home When Dining Out?
By JOHN STOSSEL and CHRISTOPHER ST. JOHN
March 22, 2007 — - Have you ever found yourself counting the seconds until your check arrives at a restaurant? Not because the food, service or ambience were lacking, but because someone's child was running laps around the place, hiding under the tables, and practicing his dinosaur roar at ear-splitting volume.
Or maybe you've been on the other side, out to a family meal with the kids, proud of their behavior -- which in any other situation might be called exemplary -- only to be berated by a fellow diner who believes that children "should be seen and not heard"?
Either way, the moment probably doesn't rank among your top ten dining experiences. Whether they're well-behaved kids bored of waiting for their grilled cheese to arrive or poor-mannered brats hell-bent on ruining a meal for everyone within screaming distance, the friction created by kids in restaurants is something many of us have experienced.
Watch the story on "20/20" Friday, March 23, 2007 at 10 p.m. ET
In one Chicago community these tensions reached a boiling point when Dan McCauley, owner of a local cafe, A Taste of Heaven, decided he had had enough of children using his establishment as a playground.
Heaven and Hell
One afternoon, McCauley said, he caught a pair of kids scaling the walls of his restaurant while their parents sat nearby. As the group was leaving, McCauley confronted Julie Walsh, one of the supervising mothers, and told her that she and her children were no longer welcome in the cafe.
"I was so shocked," Walsh said, adding that she thought the children had been relatively well-behaved that afternoon. "It made me feel like I was in the second grade, having my knuckles whacked or something."
The following morning McCauley posted a sign on the front door, thinking it would be a simple solution. It read: "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven"
To his astonishment, the sign quickly provoked a strong response within the community. "We had like 50 or 60 phone calls," McCauley said. "People stating that they were really offended, and they would never step foot in here again, which really surprised me." A local newspaper even wrote that a group of concerned parents was going to boycott the cafe.
The Debate Changes
But then things began to change, when the story was picked up outside of the community and reported nationally. All of a sudden, McCauley said, the steady stream of angry phone calls turned into a tidal wave of support.
Letters applauding the restaurant's stand against rowdy kids began to arrive from around the country, some from as far away as Singapore and the United Kingdom. McCauley even received some small checks from supporters worried he would lose business.
The story reflects a debate that has long been simmering in online chat rooms and letters to local newspapers: How should children be expected to behave in public places, and especially in restaurants? Disciplinarians, advocates of hands-off child rearing, the childless, and mothers of six all seem to have an opinion.
The point of contention is rarely whether or not children should be allowed in restaurants, or whether or not they should behave. Most agree that kids are welcome to dine out as long as they don't make nuisances of themselves. But tempers seem to flare when the topic is addressed in public.
'It's Like Speaking Against Nuns'
Ralph Walsh, the husband of Julie and father of the children banned from A Taste of Heaven, said that while it was hard not to agree with McCauley, "What I'm saying is that there are ways to approach this issue without making parents feel uncomfortable, patronized, pushed away."
Meanwhile, Ted, a Taste of Heaven patron who gave only his first name, had his own theory to explain the nation-wide debate touched off by the cafe's sign.
"It was kinda groundbreaking," he said. "It's almost taboo. Children definitely are the one thing that you cannot speak against in our society. They are innately good. It's like speaking against nuns. You know what I mean?"
From http://www.abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=2971198&page=1
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What do you think?


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Honestly, I think it's about time someone stood up to parents who are lacking in parental skills. I work in a retail job where I see how parents allow their children to do whatever they choose to do without any repercussions. I am constantly picking up something, fixing something, etc that had to do with a child whose parent didn't care what they were doing.
I do not agree with the whole "children should be seen and not heard" idea. But, I don't see anything wrong with making a child behave themselves when out in a public place. Someone owns that place and doesn't want it damaged. Other patrons do not think it's cute when little Billy pretends he is a dinosaur and roars at the top of his lungs. My children don't seem to have a problem with staying with me in a store, not touching stuff, sitting down when we go out to eat, not screaming, etc. I really don't see any reason why other children can't behave except that the parents are too lazy to force them to do so.
Too bad I don't live closer to that cafe, because I would surely give him my business for setting a standard for people to follow while in his place of business.
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No, but parents need to teach their kids how to act in public.!
I find that I have to agree on this! I don't think children should be seen and not heard but I do think that other people's rights Do extend to being able to enjoy a meal out that they're paying for. I used to be mortified when my toddlers would try to climb over the booth, disturbing the patrons behind us. Now parents seem to let their kids out of their chairs and let them run around the place!
I spent several years suffering through takeout and home delivery because I knew my kids couldn't be counted on to behave in a manner I felt appropriate for sit-down places. As soon as they were old enough to understand, I taught them the difference between Chuck E. Cheese behavior and 'sit down' restaurants. They enjoy nice food but there is a certain level of behavior expected.
Who knows WHY these kids are running wild? Perhaps the parent's sense of self-worth feels that they deserve to dine in these places, even if their kids aren't socially ready for the experience. It could be that parents are more concerned with being their kids friends that they don't want to disrupt that friendship by enforcing rules. Or maybe the parents are too exhausted or don't have the resources to know how to teach thier kids. Heck it could even be that no one has more rights to pleasure than their own kids. Who knows? Political correctness taken to the extreme could be construed that these children have a RIGHT to express themselves and you'd better not DARE to correct them or you'd be imposing on their rights!
My own sister feels that teaching kids to be respectful is teaching them to be submissive, which means they'll be wimps (losers) in the business world when they grow up..we differ on this and I obviously can't handle more than a couple of hours around her three young kids!
I don't know WHY kids are not being made to sit and behave properly in public, but I do agree that it IS a problem and even my own kids have gotten upset at other's kids running and misbehaving in restaraunts!
Denise
Hallelujah! I can't even believe someone would be upset at the restaurant owner. When my kids were toddlers, they were nightmares in restaurants, so we just wouldn't go. The few times we tried and they started acting up one of us took them outside.
I'm shocked at how many parents bring children to places that really aren't child friendly and then don't teach them how to behave appropriately. It's especially aggravating when you pay for a babysitter only to see ill behaved children at the table next to you.
My kids have been taught how to act in public. They're not perfect, but I can bring them now to any restaurant and they know how to behave. We're doing them a favor by teaching them.
This extends to most everything. I guess many parents feel entitled to not alter their life when kids come along. They aren't doing anyone any favors.
I'll just add my agreement. We all seem to be on the same page. In your own home you can let your kids do what you want, around other people you have to consider that the world does not revolve around you.
As for the SIL who is letting her kids be rude to "get ahead", I certainly hope they aren't going to work in any business that does business outside of the US. They would be doomed in Europe or Asia if they go in with an agressive no-manners attitude. Those things are very important and being manners does not mean being weak. It just shows you have the mental ability to decide what behaviour is appropriate. Oh well, she will find out the truth but it will likely be too late.
I applaud the restaurant owner for taking a stand.
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This is the one thing that I can't take kids running around while I am trying to eat.
I think this is a no win situation!
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The problem is that these parents DON"T realize nor pay attention that their kids are not behaving.
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