~Tuesday Hot Topic Talk~
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~Tuesday Hot Topic Talk~
| Tue, 02-06-2007 - 8:07am |

Tuesday
Topic
What are your opinions regarding living with someone versus getting married, and why?
This seems to be the new trend.

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I am asking what your thoughts are on two people living together, having and raising kids but never legally marrying.
I don't see any problem with a couple deciding to live together before committing to marriage. I also don't think that this is an opportunity for men to "get the milk for free". In my experience, it is a time when couples get to know each other better, and are able to evaluate the other as an compatible spouse. I have friends and relatives that lived together before marriage, and they were usually engaged just after a year. I don't think I will have a problem with my daughter living with a guy before she decides to get married.
My husband and I did not live together. Mostly because it would have really hurt my parents. Both of us moved back in with our parents during the engagement so that we could save for a down payment, and to contribute to the wedding costs. We closed on our house just before the wedding.
IDEALLY, I do think couples should be married if they decide to have kids. Kids need a stable household, and GENERALLY couples living together have failed to make that commitment.
I have no problem with the idea of living together in general, or having children together without a marriage license, because it means that you are having sex without being married, and I'm ok with that for adults.
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Honestly? I don't really think about it. I am married (and have been for 10.5 years). If two people want to live together, raise children, etc but not get married that is their choice. I guess I really don't see anything wrong with it.
I do, however, have a problem with people who avoid getting married because they feel living together is the easy way out in bad times. If you are committed to one another - it's for good AND bad. I don't like when people decide that it's easier to leave when things get tough - and I think sometimes people who choose to just live together view in that way...
"If things get bad, I can leave and not suffer any legal or financial reprecussions".
Ramona Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!
"People who live together for 8 years or longer are considered common law married anyway."
In some places this might be true. In my state you could live together (not legally married) as man and wife for 50 years, but they will not recognize a common law marriage. They will recognize a common law marriage established elsewhere.
Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"
Kiana "Hooprincess" 12 yrs old
Vanessa & Jazmine "The Twins"
Brittany "MomtofiveDrews"
Kiana "Hooprincess" 13 yrs old
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