Wednesday Wondering....

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Registered: 09-26-2003
Wednesday Wondering....
22
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 9:10am

I Was Wednesday Wondering.....


What slang words do you allow your tween/teen to say at home...like "crap"...."darn"...."shut up"..."loser"...etc.


Are you pretty lenient on this or are you pretty strict?


Has your tween/teen said actual cuss words before?


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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 9:29am

We are very strict about word usage here. I noticed when my kids were a very young age that they take their cues from us...I had gotten a little sloppy and used the words "crap" and "friggin" from time to time. Lo and behold, my oldest, then 4, told my Aunt a story about the "friggin squirrels" in our backyard. Ahem. Well, I changed my language immediately.

Of course, from time to time, I do slip here and there, but my DH and I don't let the kids talk that way, so we really try to watch ourselves too.

The only time my DS cursed was in first grade, when they were compiling a list of "it" words. Well, he pops out with ##it...and was immediately in tears because he knew it was not a good choice of words. His teacher told me with a laugh and a giggle (out of his earshot, of course) but I was mortified. We made him write an apology letter. He has not cursed since! LOL

He actually is very turned off by kids who curse, and there are plenty of them at school. It bothers him and he is totally not impressed with it. We've pretty much taught him that using foul language makes you appear uneducated...when you can't think of better words to use.

So, words like Stupid, shut up, dummy, etc. are all bad words in our house. We just refrain from using them!

Marcy

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 9:44am

I'd like to say we're pretty strict about it (where's the blushing icon?) but unfortunately with dad being a Marine they've obviously heard some pretty bad stuff. Gotta love a toddler hitting this thumb and saying "OH SH*T!". I about died. Anyway, I let the occassional "crap" through the cracks, but I'll usually throw a grumble at the kid to remind them that I don't care to hear it. They're pretty good around me but I've heard their friends curse so I'm pretty sure they're doing it too when they're away from me. "Freakin" is another one I've allowed, mostly because it's one I've used for years to try and watch my mouth. Still, not in every day conversation.

I think it one of my kids started spewing the really bad ones that I'd definitely take action, depending on what it was, the context used and WHO it was being thrown at. I'd like to say I'd throw em to the ground and stuff soap in their mouths but well..they're as big as me now so I guess that won't work! HAHA!!!

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:02am

Unfortunately DH and I do slip from time to time, however we have taught the kids from day one that just because you hear a bad word, that does not give you the right to repeat it until you are an adult.


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Registered: 11-04-2004
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:10am
Well, my tween doesn't say any of those words and I don't see him ever saying them in the near future....now once he hits middle school.......so not sure what will happen.






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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:11am

Hmmmm. Well, I'm pretty lenient in some senses, sucks is okay, the occassional swear word in the right context but not very often. The only time she uses "shut up" is if I'm teasing her about something (like the time I pushed her in the snowbank and she was rolling around and couldn't get up and I was killing myself laughing) then I let it go because its all in fun. Neither of us ever uses it in anger, its more a teasing thing.


She does not use regular swear words and I try not to. Only if I'm quite angry I might use "d**n* or "that is sh*tty" but I rarely use the F word in front of her. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I try to keep it down. She's never sworn randomly in front of me just for effect or for emphasis. If she drops something and it breaks and a "jesus!" comes out of her mouth I don't say anything, however if she was saying "This Fing TV doesn't work" I'd be very upset. I do use "freaking" sometimes but she never has.


Edited to add that while I allow "sucks" I don't allow disrespectful talk about other people. A computer program can suck, a math test can suck, but your teacher does not. Thankfully I'm never had to say "Don't say that", she seems to have just picked up what is acceptable and what is not. Because neither her father nor I swear on a regular basis I hope she's realized its not acceptable every day language. Now she may very well swear with her friends, most kids try it out in their peer group, but as long as

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:39am

We're strict.

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Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:52am

Boy has my language cleaned up since I had kids!!!

We don't use shut up, crap, or hate in our house. We also say "Oh my gosh". My kids have corrected me a few times on that one.

I use an occasional dammit, but not sh** or the dreaded f word.

My kids go to a Catholic school so I'm hoping any bad language is kept out of the kids vocabulary!

I have a funny story that goes along with this, kind of....

When Nathan was younger one day he was telling everyone one that I was using the GD word a lot that morning. WHAT!!!! I don't think I've ever said that. Well it turns out he meant "Get Dressed"! I know he didn't even know what the other GD word was. We laughed about that for a few days.

Karin

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Registered: 11-06-2006
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 11:17am

I don't allow my kids to say God, Jesus, shut up, liar, dummmy, stupid, sucks, or freakin. I try to keep my own mouth clean, but slip up from time to time. I have heard my kids say these words on occasion and will remind them of a better choice of words. If they are terribly upset about something and it slips I would likely let it go.

I have noticed my oldest (she's not a tween she's almost 17) talking about other girls and using the words slut and ho. I don't like that either even if they are being "friendly". They need to have more respect for each other and I always ask what makes her a slut or ho? If this continues the 9&10 year old will be using it too. How lovely will that sound?

As far as real cuss words it would depend upon the situation they use it as to what my reaction would be. My youngest is my biggest worry though she seems to get a thrill from saying the bad words. Our dog is named Jack and she heard my Dad call him Jack A** and now she tries it every chance she gets.

Tonya

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Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 11:29am
My dh was an Army man for years so my kids have heard it all.But when my ds had said the dreaded F word he really started watching it.As far as swears Samanatha doesnt use them that I know of.I dont like stuipd.I dont have a promblem with some things like gosh,crap ect. as long as they are not said like Chris your so dumb. If she drops something or mess something up she will say crap.
Tammy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 11:32am
Hmm...
I allow my kids to say somethings but not others. Nothing that is condescending for sure such as slut, ho, a**hole, b**ch...etc. For sure the "F" word is never allowed. Other than that I am pretty lienient.

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