i agree some parents make their kids write......which is good.
However i can barely get Jackie to do her homework much less write an essay for me..... So it might work for some but I dont think my little procrastinator will be able to write one sentence for me...... good luck.
We don't "punish" our kids, but there are consequences for poor behavior and/or poor choices. Backtalking/sassing earns them no one listening, I simply walk away. I have refused to take them to places they want to go, simply because they are being disrespectful to me. I tell them that my job as a parent is to provide a safe shelter, nutritional food, and we love them unconditionally....my job is NOT to be their doormat, their chauffer, their general slave. So if they aren't treating me with basic respect, I will not be their driver, etc.
Talking to one another with respect is big in our home, my dh in particular is stern when they treat their mother with bad attitude, so that helps immensely as well.
I've started lurking here lately since I have 4 kids btwn 10 and 14!
I have picked my battles and this generally is not one of them. I try and stay fairly laid back about the attitude. Like a previous poster said, if they are being rude, I just walk away. If they want something from me, they know they'd better ask nicely, so the original poster's dd who wanted pj's -- if my child had said that to me, oh well, no new pj's. When I loose my cool over how they are it gives them a lot of power and so I try to stay as calm as possible. When my kids give attitude, they get very little back from me: no help, no reaction etc. And I have to say, we don't really hear too much of it.
I also agree with another poster who mentioned that the kids
Yes, it is very normal. Rather than punishing her, just reiterate your standards or raise them, if necessary. Tell her that you will only listen if she uses a respectful tone of voice and follow through. The follow through is critical--you have to do it every time.
For example, with the PJ's incident, you could say something like, "I will be glad to buy you the clothes you need, but you will have to ask me in a decent tone of voice. The label that tells the size is in the back of the shirt. When you are ready, please show me the style you'd like and tell me in a respectful tone what size you need." If she stomps, rolls her eyes, says "whatever" or does any other rude thing, just tell her she won't be receiving any new pajamas anytime soon. Case closed.
If the attitude continues (and it will!), just remind her in a very calm tone that you will be happy to help her only when she can speak to you as calmly and politely as you are speaking to her. Does she want a privilege, such as going to a party on the weekend? Then she must show that she is civilized enough to represent your family by acting civilized at home.
I find that my kids respond better when I use things like parties as incentives to be earned rather than things to be taken away. It amounts to the same thing (rude behavior==no party; polite behavior=party), but if they can look at it as a goal, they're more likely to try to work for it. A lot of this is personality, but the carrot has always worked better than the stick in our house.
Pages
I was talking to my DH about this issue and mentioned how you really are looking for something to fit the crime.
i agree some parents make their kids write......which is good.
However i can barely get Jackie to do her homework much less write an essay for me..... So it might work for some but I dont think my little procrastinator will be able to write one sentence for me...... good luck.
Anytime my DS (10 years) gets attitude, I send him to his room until he's ready to talk to me properly, and/or apologize for being a smart mouth.
When he's ready to apologize he needs to do it sincerely, if he comes out with an attitude still
We don't "punish" our kids, but there are consequences for poor behavior and/or poor choices. Backtalking/sassing earns them no one listening, I simply walk away. I have refused to take them to places they want to go, simply because they are being disrespectful to me. I tell them that my job as a parent is to provide a safe shelter, nutritional food, and we love them unconditionally....my job is NOT to be their doormat, their chauffer, their general slave. So if they aren't treating me with basic respect, I will not be their driver, etc.
Talking to one another with respect is big in our home, my dh in particular is stern when they treat their mother with bad attitude, so that helps immensely as well.
Instant correction is the best way to deal with attitude.
"Sometimes when things are said,
LOL!
I've started lurking here lately since I have 4 kids btwn 10 and 14!
I have picked my battles and this generally is not one of them. I try and stay fairly laid back about the attitude. Like a previous poster said, if they are being rude, I just walk away. If they want something from me, they know they'd better ask nicely, so the original poster's dd who wanted pj's -- if my child had said that to me, oh well, no new pj's. When I loose my cool over how they are it gives them a lot of power and so I try to stay as calm as possible. When my kids give attitude, they get very little back from me: no help, no reaction etc. And I have to say, we don't really hear too much of it.
I also agree with another poster who mentioned that the kids
<>
Now I think I like that idea lol.
Considering my 14 year old HATES to write, maybe this would 1) improve the writing skills and 2) have her tone down the attitude some lol.
Yes, it is very normal. Rather than punishing her, just reiterate your standards or raise them, if necessary. Tell her that you will only listen if she uses a respectful tone of voice and follow through. The follow through is critical--you have to do it every time.
For example, with the PJ's incident, you could say something like, "I will be glad to buy you the clothes you need, but you will have to ask me in a decent tone of voice. The label that tells the size is in the back of the shirt. When you are ready, please show me the style you'd like and tell me in a respectful tone what size you need." If she stomps, rolls her eyes, says "whatever" or does any other rude thing, just tell her she won't be receiving any new pajamas anytime soon. Case closed.
If the attitude continues (and it will!), just remind her in a very calm tone that you will be happy to help her only when she can speak to you as calmly and politely as you are speaking to her. Does she want a privilege, such as going to a party on the weekend? Then she must show that she is civilized enough to represent your family by acting civilized at home.
I find that my kids respond better when I use things like parties as incentives to be earned rather than things to be taken away. It amounts to the same thing (rude behavior==no party; polite behavior=party), but if they can look at it as a goal, they're more likely to try to work for it. A lot of this is personality, but the carrot has always worked better than the stick in our house.
Pages