What do you do when...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
What do you do when...
14
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:13pm

what your tween wants doesn't match what you wish for them? Evan has to choose a language to take for the next four years. Once the decision is made it cannot be changed. Choices are Spanish, Latin, German, and French. I would love him to take Latin. It will help him with vocabulary, reading, and it's a magnet for the gifted crowd which he is definitely a part of and has tested into. He wants to take German because he thinks it sounds fun, my grandfather speaks it, and several of his current friends are going to take it. There are positives to German, it's alot like English so they learn English structure at the same time, it's a major language in European finance (Evan is a budding Alex P. Keaton). I just don't want him to miss out on future opportunities because he wants to do what his friends are doing especially since friends can change so quickly.

Advice anyone? I know if I force him into it I'm in for 4 years of struggle. He's very hard-headed and stubborn. I also need to start letting him make his own decisions but when I see how this can affect his future I have a hard time letting him make this decision at 10. I know Latin is a choice in high school. Maybe I can get him to agree to one year then.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:01pm

Personally I would never encourage my child to take Latin. (shows how we are all different) LOL Its a dead language. In today`s global economy you need

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:07pm

JMO but I think you are thinking this language thing too much. It's a foreign language and learning it should be fun and exciting. Knowing any 2nd language is going to be an asset to your son, no matter what it is. Learning one language over another at the age of 10 is not going to make or break his entire future. He has plenty of time and opportunities to learn latin later.

Remember that what he wants to do now with his life will change between now and the time he's 19 and declaring a major. What he chooses to do with his life needs to be his choice, as does how he gets there. You can encourage him to follow his strengths but ultimatly you need to allow him to be the individual he chooses to be. In the end what matters most is that he sees his education as something to be enjoyed. If you make it all about doing what is best for a certain career path, you run the risk of him buring out by his sophamore year.

My son is in the gifted program and has been GT identified since he was five years old. He's 13 years old and is a young 8th grader, as he just turned 13 in Mid-October. (He'll still be 17 when he starts college). Currently he takes Spanish. He chose Spanish because he plans on taking many missionary trips to the Dominican Republic. The first trip will be in the spring of 2010, so his need to have a good handle on the language is not that far off.

While I too would have loved to have seen my budding journalist take Latin, his heart is somewhere else right now and I have to allow him to follow his own dreams and choose his own path. Learning one language just opens the door to learning others and I know that ultimatly what I want for him and what he wants for his own life will be two very different things. Connor also has expressed a desire to learn Greek, Hebrew and then Latin. He hasn't ruled out Latin all together, but it is the last language on his list.. not the first. My grandfather spoke 9 languages, and ds is much like he was in that he learns languages fairly easily. Verbal/linguistic is the strongest of his Gifted Domains.

I have chosen to encourage my son to follow his own path in terms of what courses to take and what activites to get involved in. I feel that it is important to his own abilities and self confidence that he see himself as the driver on his educational and developmental journey. I can continue to offer directions, but I have to remember that at the end of the day he's the one holding the map.

JMO
stacy

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Registered: 06-29-2001
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:14pm

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Avatar for nodinero
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:42pm
I think you should let him choose what he's interested in. Most likely he won't use any of the languages he learns in school. I took spanish for four years in highschool and when I finally worked here where spanish is an extremely popular language, I found out that most of the words I learned were "proper" and not really used in the everyday language. I also found out that I had forgotten most of it anyway. If your ds wants to take german, why not? Honestly, the very best way to learn a language is to go where it is primarily spoken and learn by living with it each day. Besides that, studies have proven that any kind of language helps intelligence with any kid and adult. Another thing to remind yourself is, it's his life and not yours. It sounds like you are trying to live out your wishes through him. He's only 10 and there will be many, many changes down the road for him. He may not end up doing anything you are fantasizing about right now. My son Matthew has always been encouraged to go into the gifted program but I never forced him to. I asked him if he wanted it and he didn't. Most gifted kids already have a tough time feeling like part of the crowd. They are different from the average kids and think way out of the box. If he's found something that his friends are into that he's also comfortable with, encourage him. If you like Latin so much, you could always take a class and then incorporate it at home. Just an idea.

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 2:47pm

I think this has to be a decision he makes!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 4:52am

Learning the language should be fun!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 6:17am
Ditto to all the great advice that was given here - Lon had to choose a language at the beginning of middle school and had to stay in for 3 years - he chose latin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 11:51am
This is so funny because I was recently talking with someone about this exact subject, lol. I was telling the story of my ODD and we argued over this years ago, she wanted French, I wanted her to take Spanish or German (because I had taken both and could help if needed) and I hate to say this, but it became a battle. In the end, she went to French and I waited for her to come begging to get out. It never happened, I had to eat my words and today she's getting ready to enter French AP, is fluent in the language and looking to attend possibly a Canadian University (we're in the US btw)...so when my other daughter came home last year with the paper, I point blank just asked her what language she wanted and signed the paper, didn't argue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 1:22pm
In today's world, bilingual should be the minimum requirement, not the maximum. He would be better served to learn BOTH languages. Let him take one as required and one as elective. And if that can't be done at school, then get private language tutoring outside of school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 1:27pm

Kristen's mom:

You are somewhat incorrect in calling Latin "dead." In the sciences, it is the basis for the naming of all the elements, the biological species, even the diseases. French, Italian and Spanish all are based on Latin to the extent that if you can understand one of the four, you can go a long way toward understanding all four. And that's not to mention that a lot of modern English includes many Latin word bases. So Latin is not so much a language for everyday use, but is certainly one for basics. Just the same way that algebra in itself is only a framework but you can't accomplish much in mathematics without a solid knowledge of it.

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