WOW !!!!!!!!!I couldn't believe it!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
WOW !!!!!!!!!I couldn't believe it!!!!!!
11
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 11:14am
OK ... Maybe I'm old fashioned but this was a real eye opener for me. Last night my dd 11, wanted to go to Skateland. A bunch of kids from school were going there and she wanted to go. So I load up the kids and we go up there. This place is about 10 minutes away from our home. My daughter had never been there before so there was NO WAY I was just pulling up and dropping her off. I told her I was going to stay the entire time. Out of the way, but there. This was totally fine with her. No problem. 5 of her friends showed up. Not one parent stayed. These are 11 year old little girls. Not one parent stayed. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PARENTS. To be honest we won't go back. It was kind of dirty and NOT what I expected at all. SO... were sitting there and these girls start talking about the boys who are calling them and sneeking out to the back yard to see them. THEY ARE 11!!!!

I was floored. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. These are girls that my daughter has been friends with for years. I acted as if I didn't hear them just so I could hear more of what was going on. My DD and I talked about this when we got home and she says this kind of stuff goes on all the time. That these girls are NOT the sweet things I thought they were. WOW, I was just shocked. I KNOW my daughter isn't on the phone with or in the backyard with boys because we have raised her to be a LADY and you don't hide, sneek, etc. Man what an eye opener. Our daughter is in bed at 9:00. These girls are up at 11 and 12 on the phone or online. Am I being an old fart? Are your girls talking on the phone with boys? Do you leave your daughters at a public place at 11? HELP!!!!!!

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 12:10pm
First off, I'd say I'm an old fart too - and ds11 is with me on this. He, too, is in bed by 9, doesn't do IM, is the kind who is a 'man of few words' on the phone (and that's with guy friends!).

Yes, I've seen what you're talking about. Last year in 5th, it was surprising to have some 'girlfriends' of some of the players come to our opening baseball game at the middle school (they hold the games for 5th-8th graders there even though 5th was in our K-5th school). And they flirted with the boys THE WHOLE TIME, even with the parents right there.

Yes, I know of MANY who IM and some who go to the mall or dances and such (not the school ones; they're VERY tame and only last an hour twice a year in the gym right after school). My ds does NOT think this is right. He does have a girl he likes, but they talk on the bus, and that's that. He brought her a little stuffed bear (beanie baby size, in a Santa suit) for Christmas, and had to give it to her on the bus - I told him he could drop it at her house as they live in our neighborhood...he said, "I don't THINK so!" LOL.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 12:11pm
My dd is 11, and only goes places with a parent. She has been to the skating rink 2 times without me, but I know the owners, and her older brother-13 was with her. She is in bed at 9:00, and has had "boyfriends" and also boys who are friends. The only diffrence between them is the title. She is only alowed to wear tinted lip gloss and powder, no dangle earrings, no thongs, etc. She keeps buzy with girlscouts, dance, gymnastics, basketball, and church activities, so she does not have much time to just hang out with anyone. I am also friends with the parents of her friends, and we all pretty much agree on what our daughters will be alowed to do, so they are not getting away with anything at another house. I am also friends with the parents of DS's friends, so I can keep an eye on him as well. Big brother also keeps an eye on DD. He claimes he does not care what she does, but boy does he get mad when he feels she is acting older than her age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 12:36pm
Times sure have changed, haven't they? I'm 44 and I remember being dropped off at age 11 at the roller skating rink, but those are bygone days. I also remember walking with friends to the local grocery store and drugstore for magazines/candy and riding my bike all over the place in our neighborhood.

My oldest son, 10, can't do a fraction of what I was allowed. It makes me sad, but that's the world we are in now.

To answer your question, I would not allow my kids to be dropped off at such a public place alone. I think it is appalling, and wonder what the parents are thinking. There are just too may things that could happen, (on their own or some weirdo approaching them). My son is in daycamp in the summer and they go on two overnight trips with the 4/5th graders. One is out of state. No freaking way. My kids don't do overnight camps, I don't care how well they say they are run. YOu just never know. Always, always follow your gut instincts.

We are not old farts, just protective parents.

conmama

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 1:19pm
"We're not old farts, just protective parents."

True. And seeing that I'm the same age as you, I like it better that way anyway!

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 1:21pm
Thanks for replying ladies. It's nice to see that there are others out there who cherish and savor their children being children. They will grow up soon enough. I'm in no hurry :0)

Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 4:05pm

Hello and welcome!!

Sherrie Rainbow

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 4:07pm

Hi, it's good to "see" you again.

Sherrie Rainbow

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 4:54pm

OK, I suppose it depends where they are going whether or not I would allow my 11 year old son to go with just friends. I don't think I would let him go to the skating rink alone, except for when they have a school party there. Then its chapheroned, no in and out privliages and no one leaves unless a parent picks them up. I have let my ds go to a football game that was 9th and 10th graders, because its with walking distance of our house. I wouldn't let him go to a varsity game though. To crowded to many other ppl there. THe JV games, its mostly just parents and friends of the players. Very empty and I picked him up at the end, cause it was dark. Would I let my daughter stay up to 12 to talk on the phone or im to boys. NO WAY, nor my son to girls.

Leesa

I'll hold my head high
I'll never let this define
The light in my eyes
Love myself, give it Hell
I'll take on t

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 6:01pm

My son is 11 and I would never just drop him off somewhere.

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Avatar for cl_janetlh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 7:15pm

OK, I'm with the old farts, too! My kids are in bed BY 9, don't have long conversations on the phone with either gender, and do not IM late at night. And, no way they could get out of the house in the evening without me knowing it!


My dd's current best friend is a boy, but they don't consider themselves dating by any stretch! My kids both say they are too young to date, and I totally agree! (They're 11yo boy/girl twins.)

Janet


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