Abortion VS. Denial of Parental Rights

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2011
Abortion VS. Denial of Parental Rights
23
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 1:26am

I got into a discussion recently with some friends, and thought it would make a good debate.

If a woman has the right to have an abortion of a child she does not want, regardless of the fathers wishes, should a man

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 10:44pm

Abortion is a pregnancy decision; caring for a child is a parenting decision. A man is required to support his child once it is born, but a woman is also required to do the same. Just as a woman has the right to decide not to become a parent by terminating a pregnancy, so a man has the right to decide not to become a parent either by abstaining from sex or by using protection during sex. The fact that the woman becomes pregnant means that she gets to decide what happens with her body. It has nothing to do with denying a man rights. And frankly it would make no sense to allow men to decide in favor of/or against parenthood after pregnancy has occurred given the fact that it is not their bodies where the pregnancy lies. It is no more complicated than that.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 11:50am

Edited to Add - I have a situation in my own family that proves the point I was trying to make.

My sil has three kids. The two youngest, a girl and a boy, have the same father. The girl, my niece, came first. Her dad has always been very involved in her life, and at twelve years old, she is a great kid who is still a big "Daddy's Girl".

When my niece was about 2 1/2, my sil got pregnant again. In her defense, it was completely unplanned and she WAS using birth control. Anyhow, she ultimately decided to keep the baby, my nephew is now ten years old. His father has never had anything to do with him. I wish I was kidding. Weekend after weekend, he would take his daughter to his home, buy her everything she wanted, and spoil her rotten. Meanwhile, there sits my nephew, wondering why he isn't included. He DOES pay child support, but has never been emotionally involved with him whatsoever.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 11:06am

Yes, this is a very good debate question with no easy answers.

First off, a guy who doesn't want kids should take some personal responsibilty. It shouldn't all fall on the woman...who cares if she SAYS she's on the Pill, put a condom on, already...kwim? If you know you never want kids get a vasectomy. That all being said...

The thing is, men sort of DO get to "choose". While a court can order a man to pay child support, you cannot FORCE him to spend time with the child, help raise him/her, etc. We live in a world of absentee fathers. Should they be held responsible? While I think every child deserves two loving parents, in the real world, it doesn't always work out this way. I'm not comfortable

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