Abortion VS. Denial of Parental Rights

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2011
Abortion VS. Denial of Parental Rights
23
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 1:26am

I got into a discussion recently with some friends, and thought it would make a good debate.

If a woman has the right to have an abortion of a child she does not want, regardless of the fathers wishes, should a man

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 07-21-2011 - 1:11am
It's only an option if BOTH parents agree to it. Otherwise whoever doesn't agree to it will automatically get custody.

I know people who have given up kids for adoption and I firmly believe it's not something you should do unless you are sure that's what you want. In my experience it can be very traumatic for either parent, and it's not aways great for the child either. But as I said, unless both parents agree to sign the papers an adoption isn't a possibility anyway. If the mother wants the child and the father doesn't then it's a moot point.
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 10:15pm

There is a third option put up for adoption.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 4:42pm
xxxs- women cannot just walk away. If they give birth and do not want it, but the father does want it, then they are on the hook for child support as well. If they abort then neither has a financial obligation. The only thing that is different is that ultimately only the mother has the choice of whether or not to abort, and since it's her body that's as fair as it can possibly be. Once the child is born he or she deserves support from both parents. It's not about the mother or the father at that point. It's about what's right for the child.
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 2:51pm

Of course men should have a choice.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 11:31am

"Murder" is not part of the equation with abortion.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 7:24pm

First and foremost abortion is only a "choice" insofar as murder is one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sun, 06-26-2011 - 7:13pm

I see so because her chances are out the door he gets stuck with her regrets? I'm sorry how is that fair?

He did not have to choose to inseminate her eggs, but he did. He had a choose at the time of conception. How is that not fair? If he had opted out, then she could have opted for donor sperm. He agreed to taking on the responsibility of fertilizing her only egss, and then he changed his mind. How is that fair?

she could adopt

Sure. I think it is easier to choose to adopt when it is actually a choice. But I think as anyone who has had their fertility taken away knows, there is an element to biological parenthood that often matters deeply. He took away her only chance at biological children.

I really don't know what financial obligations he would have been required to take on, but I have no doubt that she would have waived them 100% in order to have a chance at a biological child. I really don't think money had much to do with the issue. It was strictly the right "not to be a parent". That right was upheld for the male despite having made a clear, conscious decision to become a parent in the first place AND despite not having any bodily role.

So while I used to believe that abortion had something to do with the woman's body and a level of realization that some pregnancies are unplanned, neither of those values played a role in the decision to allow this man to his "right not to be a parent".


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 10:24pm

I see so because her chances are out the door he gets stuck with her regrets? I'm sorry how is that fair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:14pm
Goddessofpeace, cancer treatments usually destroy your eggs and your fertility. She cannot just have a baby with someone else. That was her only chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:11pm
If the woman doesn't want the baby and the father does, she cannot adopt him/her to someone else. Once the baby is born there is no double standard. Non custodial moms also have to pay child support.

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