Abortion VS. Denial of Parental Rights

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2011
Abortion VS. Denial of Parental Rights
23
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 1:26am

I got into a discussion recently with some friends, and thought it would make a good debate.

If a woman has the right to have an abortion of a child she does not want, regardless of the fathers wishes, should a man

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2011
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 5:18pm

I would not want to have anything to do with a man that didn't want his child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 8:47am

The only reason the woman gets an additional opportunity to make a decision is that the pregnancy involves her body, and hers alone.

I used to believe that was a fundamental principal. The reason the woman can terminate the pregnancy is that it was contained within her body.

However, years back, there was a little known case in which a woman had ovarian cancer and opted to try IVF in order to preserve her opportunity to one day have biological children. This was back before egg freezing. Her boyfriend at the time agreed to fertilize her eggs and expressed a willingness to allow her to have the embryos if anything happened to their relationship. Obviously, she had the choice to use donor sperm, but I think it made more sense that since they were serious, her only bio. children would be his.

Miraculously, she survived the ovarian cancer. However, when she decided to have the embryos transferred, her partner had changed his mind. Legally he had the right to terminate the embryos even though they were not linked to his body, literally gaining "the right not to be a parent".

I have always disagreed with that legal decision. As much as I don't think someone should be able to force another to carry a pregnancy, I slightly more strongly don't think anyone should be able to force another to terminate a pregnancy. Frozen embryos, while not quite a pregnancy, are IMO a potential life. My heart has always gone out to the woman who had her chance at biological parenthood taken away by the courts.

Back to the original quote, it appears that from a legal standpoint the right not to be a parent is more important than the woman's body is. 0.02

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 8:07pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:11pm
If the woman doesn't want the baby and the father does, she cannot adopt him/her to someone else. Once the baby is born there is no double standard. Non custodial moms also have to pay child support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:14pm
Goddessofpeace, cancer treatments usually destroy your eggs and your fertility. She cannot just have a baby with someone else. That was her only chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 10:24pm

I see so because her chances are out the door he gets stuck with her regrets? I'm sorry how is that fair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sun, 06-26-2011 - 7:13pm

I see so because her chances are out the door he gets stuck with her regrets? I'm sorry how is that fair?

He did not have to choose to inseminate her eggs, but he did. He had a choose at the time of conception. How is that not fair? If he had opted out, then she could have opted for donor sperm. He agreed to taking on the responsibility of fertilizing her only egss, and then he changed his mind. How is that fair?

she could adopt

Sure. I think it is easier to choose to adopt when it is actually a choice. But I think as anyone who has had their fertility taken away knows, there is an element to biological parenthood that often matters deeply. He took away her only chance at biological children.

I really don't know what financial obligations he would have been required to take on, but I have no doubt that she would have waived them 100% in order to have a chance at a biological child. I really don't think money had much to do with the issue. It was strictly the right "not to be a parent". That right was upheld for the male despite having made a clear, conscious decision to become a parent in the first place AND despite not having any bodily role.

So while I used to believe that abortion had something to do with the woman's body and a level of realization that some pregnancies are unplanned, neither of those values played a role in the decision to allow this man to his "right not to be a parent".


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 7:24pm

First and foremost abortion is only a "choice" insofar as murder is one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Thu, 07-14-2011 - 11:31am

"Murder" is not part of the equation with abortion.

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 2:51pm

Of course men should have a choice.

dragowoman