Any Input Will Help...Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Any Input Will Help...Thanks
5
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 3:19pm
Hello, I didn't know where exactly to place this question so I hope I get some sort of advice. I am currently 10 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I currently live in Louisiana and the ather lives in Michigan. We are friends and nothing more, nothing less. The thing is with the distance he thinks its better to get an abortion because he cannot be there with me for the child. I have been to the abortion clinic twice and both times I could not go through with the procedure. I do agree with the situation and why he chooses abortion though. I have considered adoption but he has recently been diagnosed with inflamed testicles(or something of that nature) and the doctor has stated that it has affected his sperm. He explained the situation to the doctor and was told that if he was to have a baby that because of this previous condition the baby in turn could be born unhealthy. Now I am stuck yet again as to what to do. I know a lot of people do not agree with abortion but given our situation I do not know what to do. After the second time at the clinic I am really contimplating on going through with this pregnancy but I would not know how to even begin tell him. All of this could have been easily prevented but whats done is done and I have all these decisions and I want to make the right one. If I do decide to go ahead with this pregnancy how would I tell him? He is so sruck on having this abortion and is in belief that I did go through with it today. I havent really spoken to him since I went to the clinic this morning because I don't know how to tell him that i did not go through with the procedure yet again. i am really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any input or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank You.

Whitney

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 3:27pm
The abortion support board over in health and wellness would probably be a better place for you to take this... There are many women over there in there in similar situations..

Ella Grayce

Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 3:49pm

(((hugs)))
If you do not want to have an abortion it is your body and your baby and he doesn't get to make the decision for you.

>>I have considered adoption but he has recently been diagnosed with inflamed testicles(or something of that nature) and the doctor has stated that it has affected his sperm. He explained the situation to the doctor and was told that if he was to have a baby that because of this previous condition the baby in turn could be born unhealthy.<<
I would ask YOUR doctor about this. I tend to be a little cynical regarding trusting other people and I personally would question if he was telling me the truth. You could do genetic testing if you or your doctor was concerned.

I don't know what I would tell him. I have never been in that situation because even though all 3 of my kids were somewhat surprises, dh have a similar view on abortion.
(I am pro-choice, but I don't think that I would ever get an abortion).

(((hugs))) again, and good luck, check out the abortion support board and the unplanned pregnancy board.

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Avatar for hydromommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 3:57pm
Yes, the abortion support board is a great place
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 4:14pm

I'm curious about this condition the father says he has....are you sure he even has this condition? And have you asked your doctor about it and how it could affect your child or have you only taken the father's word on this? If you have only heard this from the father I would be concerned that he is trying to persuade you in the direction of abortion...my advice would be to talk to your own doctor...and seek advice about abortion, as well, as you don't seem to decided as to what you want to do...to me you seem to want this child...do you have a support system in place? Do you have any friends or family nearby? First thing I would do is find out about this medical condition and do it right away as you are already 10 weeks along...This is your decision...make sure the decision you make is yours.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 9:59pm

Please do click over to the abortion support page. You may feel less alone after reading many other women, each approaching her own dilemma.

Singleness doesn't mean you can't be a good parent. Can you reach out to your friends and family and discuss with them your confused emotions? Try to separately think of 100 reasons why abortion would be really right, and why it would be totally wrong. See which list resonates for you. And after all that, remember that the decision needs to feel right. We aren't ultimately rational beings, we are emotional creatures and if it doesn't feel right to you it isn't the right thing to do.

If you need someone to talk to on the phone, Backline is a good non-judgemental nonprofit phone line that exists to help you figure out the heart of your decision and then plan to make it workable. Unplanned pregnancy is a time when you feel like you have to suddenly re-examine your whole life and it can feel overwhelming - that's normal. Heck, that's normal for planned pregnancy too.
http://www.yourbackline.org/talkline.html

Hugs and best wishes. You are as strong as you will need to be.