father story

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
father story
16
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 3:15pm

This is just a sad story that I know of. There was this guy who was dating this girl and she got pregnant. He wanted to have the baby and she didn't and was thinking about having an abortion. He was just sick over it. Well she chose to have the abortion and they broke up (how can a relationship survive that know what I mean).
Anyway, shortly after he was diagnosed with luekemia and the treatments rendered him infertile. I think he may have saved sperm, but if he never takes a wife or girlfriend he may never have a child.

Now I don't think that the girl should have been forced to have the baby (even if they had known about the luekemia) but I do think it is a sad story.

What do you think?

Edited to ask, what if you were the woman and knew about the luekima. Would you consider having the child for him and signing over your parental rights (if you really wanted nothing to do with the baby) to him? If you knew his family situation and knew that the baby would be loved and well cared for and he had a supportive family?




Edited 5/8/2007 3:17 pm ET by mom2sarahjacobcain
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:18pm

<<<<>>>>
I think it's sad but there might have been a reason that she didn't wnat to be tied to him for the next 50+ years. I know for myself the father of my baby says if he would have known he wouldn't have let me abort but I also know that it is only for religous reasons and he wouldn't have been a dad to her.

<<<>>>
I would have to think harder about it. If I was in a position in my life to physically ahve a child(it wouldn't interfer with work or school) and I knew I wouldn't have to pay support/be in the childs life then ya maybe I would. If it would interfer with my life too much than no I wouldn't do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 10:37pm

"what if you were the woman and knew about the luekima. Would you consider having the child for him and signing over your parental rights (if you really wanted nothing to do with the baby) to him? If you knew his family situation and knew that the baby would be loved and well cared for and he had a supportive family?"

No, I wouldn't because I don't share the view that a biological child holds anymore value than an adopted child. I know this is not a view most or many people share, but its a personal opinion. I think there are many children in this world who need a home, our planet is over-crowed with more people than it can support, and I would not add to that number. Note: I know for many people it is important to have biological children and I fully support someone who made the decision to have biological children, but its not right for me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 7:14am
Why? Are this man's genes that important?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 8:48am

LOL,

Thanks I already needed a laugh this morning. I like how this board has compassion for the woman. (Women in general I mean). I usually lurk in another board and I always regret it when I get mad and post. Their they have no compassion for the mother, it is all what is best for the baby and no thought whatsoever for the mother. Or that is how it seems to me anyway, I guess I shouldn't lurk or post there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 9:31am

Yes, it's sad, but it's also a lesson learned - don't have sex with someone unless you are in agreement over this issue.

And no, I wouldn't gestate a pregnancy for anyone under any circumstances.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 9:49am

I'm glad I could make you laugh. :)

When there is only emotion behind your words you will never get your point across. It's best just to walk away, as difficult as that may be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 10:05am

Is this alternate board you speak of on iVillage?

I have only come across one board, and it was not on iVillage, that had such attitudes. I didn't even bother to join because I couldn't sit on my fingers long enough to calm my searing temper after reading the hyperbole.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 10:30am

<<<>>>

Yes it is. It is also a debate board (about a specific and important childcare choice) and it is hard to be a wanderer in there when everyone there already holds the same opinion.
Without wanting to offend anyone here I will refer you there:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-psbfvbottle&msg=3095.1&x=y

I understand that moms want to do what is best for their baby (or should anyway) but sometimes they need to take into consideration the needs of their whole family in a situation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 10:44am

LOL! Oh yes, I have browsed that board before and could not believe the talons that come out on it!

Geez! But then again, look at us here, haha.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 11:00am

talons totally!

I tend to stay away from there. I am a mother who has done both, and am currently botlefeeding my 6 month old. I am not a lazy, uncaring mom who doesn't care a whit about my ds! I love him very much and I am realistic. Anyway, I will get off it now lol.

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