GAH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2008
GAH!
16
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:12pm

I sometimes lurk on boards that are not debate boards where the posters are all like-minded and have an opposite POV than I do.

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:22pm

I don't usually research my opinion when it comes to certain things because for one it's my opinion, and others are free to have their own opinion. I'm not going to change my opinion just because someone tells me I should or spouts a lot of what they believe to be facts. And for another reason some things to me don't require such research. I might not have an abortion myself but I do believe in the choice being out there.

I have friends that believe the government is responsible for 9-11, and all that. They believe their opinions are based in fact. I disagree. Yes sometimes they start spouting off their 'facts" and I will tell them what I think but honestly I've grown tired of hearing it. I now change the subject if they start.

I'll pass you a margarita with an extra shot of tequila because you seem really frustrated by this!

Jamie, wife of Steve, mom of 5
Jamie, wife of Paul, mom of 5 soon to be 6.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2008
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:34pm

I'm not looking to stifle or change anyone's opinion.

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 3:10pm

In addition to what you wrote, I think part of it is this misunderstanding that support equals friendly agreement. Frankly, I prefer it when people offer varying opinions along with support for those opinions - be they factual or anecdotal.

"It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 3:22pm

Oh and I think opinions that cannot withstand scrutiny are not worth having.

"It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Sun, 09-14-2008 - 6:12am

I do this too. Actually, a colleague and I only really became friends once we started having debates, lol!

I think though that people go to support boards for a very specific thing - exactly that unquestioning nodding-dog assent and 'support' that bothers you and I so much. I have no use for support boards for exactly this reason, but I see and acknowledge that for others they have an important role to play.

here you go

baby siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Sun, 09-14-2008 - 6:14am

Excellent post. A lot of people are unwilling to question their own views because it's hard and can be painful.

baby siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2005
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 9:45am

<

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 3:46pm
lol lol lol. theres a girl i work with who has said more than once "are you really that stupid?? how do you get through the day being that dumb?" but people do. how is a mystery to me too, but yeah. i like debate boards because i like when people speak their minds. i lurk on other boards and am a regular poster on a bunch too...but i really like getting in on the debates. this coworker/friend of mine-we have discussions all the time-sometimes about issues i read on the debate boards (lol) and she doesnt agree with me everytime. and i have changed her pov's sometimes and she has changed mne. or sometimes we agree to disagree and thats the end. but i feel like you do too-are you really that dumb??? dont you disagree with ANYTHING she just said? ANYTHING at all?? are that much of a sheep???
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2007
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 1:43am

I'm kind of new to the debate boards, but love reading them. It's nice to know that people have different opinions- that they are actually real people, in other words.


I think the thing is, in matters like abortion, that their stances come from the heart sometimes, so no matter what facts there are out there, they are going to hold their position. It doesn't necessarily make them bull-headed, just strong in their convictions. It's when they take the position that it's their job to convince the world that their choice is the only right one that I start rolling my eyes. I mean, ignorance is bliss, but only to the ignorant.


By the way, I am Pro-Choice and Pro-Margarita :)

Photobucket AB blinkie
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
In reply to: badwickedzoot
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 4:52pm

"I think though that people go to support boards for a very specific thing - exactly that unquestioning nodding-dog assent and 'support' that bothers you and I so much."

Speaking as the very content CL of a support board, I have to say that's a pretty broad generalization. Perhaps you may be generally accurate IRT support boards based on an action rather than a state of being (e.g. a TTC board vs. an EC or a PG), but I don't know that it's generally the case overall.

Here are my thoughts:

1. Support boards are for commiseration, advice, support, and discussion. We have a debate section and debates are conducted there. Otherwise, it's not as though there's never any dissenting opinions. For heaven's sake, there's over 100 of us; there's just no way we could all agree on everything. It's just that, when it's not in the debate section, it's usually prefaced with "this has been my experience..." or "this is the way I see it..."

2. I don't want everything I post to be debated. When I posted on my PG about Elizabeth waking up four times last night (she usually wakes up once), I really don't want someone to tell me that I'm full of crap thinking that I've got it hard and just wait until I've got two kids, etc. Although that could always happen on a support board, we try to discourage it. Similarly, when I posted to the DYK thread there about my grandmother dying and feeling weird being asked to speak at her funeral for a church I no longer attend nor believe in, it would not have been appropriate (nor appreciated) to have someone question me endlessly about why I would cave to pressure from my relatives. As you know, on debate boards, anything you post is up for discussion, including your own personal anecdotes.

3. I like having a group of women who have something in common with me. IRL, the vast majority of people I associate with are either far ahead of me (with much older children, finished post-baccalaureate education and established careers) or far behind me (still in school, maybe even still living with mom and dad). It's nice to have a group of people whose babies are the same age as Elizabeth, and are going through much of the same things.

I love debate boards, but I also love support boards and they each have their place. I don't love the kind of head-bobbing that does happen a lot, but the other support and advice is nice.

Photobucket
Lilypie 1st Birthday PicLilypie 1st Birthday Ticker
PhotobucketPhotobucket
Photobucket




Powered by CGISpy.com


Thanks

Pages