had a very "ah-ha!" moment yesterday

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
had a very "ah-ha!" moment yesterday
7
Fri, 12-04-2009 - 12:07pm

I have always been absolutely pro-choice for a myriad of reasons, but yesterday I had one really stand out to me.


My best friend and I went to visit her little sister, who just gave birth to a baby girl. Upon learning she was pregnant (due to birth control failure!) she did consider terminating at first. She was very young (22) and up to that point had NO plans to have kids, ever.


Obviously, she decided to keep the baby. She lives with her boyfriend and they provide a very good home for her, being so young. She obviously dotes on her little girl and is very happy with her decision. I think she's going to make a wonderful mother.


HOWEVER -


It dawned on me that alot of pro-life people I've talked to think that the majority of unwanted pregnancies end in this scenario, which is simply not true.


***Being unwanted doesn't always end at birth.***


For just that reason alone, I would be pro-choice. Lots of babies aren't as lucky as this one. I feel that it's wrong to bring a life into this world that isn't 1000% wanted - and would rather see someone have an abortion than give birth and consequently abuse the child.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009

< I'm sure that even women who wanted children desprately sometimes have those "WTF was I THINKING?!" moments...>

I DEFINITELY wanted (and want) my son, but at 2am when he just will not go back to sleep, sometimes I wish I hadn't bothered.

And then of course he gives me a giant big grin and enraptures me again ;oD

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

***Being unwanted doesn't always end at birth.***


Logically, that's true, just as "being wanted doesn't always result in successful parenting".

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009

<***Being unwanted doesn't always end at birth.***>

So true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007

Sigh, I'm having one now. My oldest girl, after dragging me to the YMCA every Sat morning b/c she wanted to do swimming lessons decided this morning..with ONE more class left..that she doesnt want to swim now. I could have slept in.


              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006

<<<>>>>


You make a very good point. Nobody *knows* what sort've parent they'll be - I'm sure that even women who wanted children desprately sometimes have those "WTF was I THINKING?!" moments...I know I do!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007

The flaw with that theory is that even wanted children are abused. Infact they may even be abused as much as ones who were not wanted at the start of pregnancy.


              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009

I agree with you completely. There's a big difference between an unplanned pregnancy and an unwanted pregnancy. I was 21 when we found out about our very unplanned pregnancy but DH (who was my bf at the time) and I both wanted him from the beginning. I can't imagine what it would be like to come into the world knowing you were a burden and not wanted. Sad. I like to think that all babies who are unwanted are given to loving homes and have great lives, BUT I know that's just not the case.


I respect women to know what they can and can't handle as well as what they do and do not want.

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