having the baby can be "selfish", too

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
having the baby can be "selfish", too
25
Fri, 09-25-2009 - 9:57am

An argument that we hear from the PL side quite a bit is how abortion is a selfish act. The woman is not considering the life of the potential child, but rather how pregnancy/childbirth will affect *her*.


I wanted to visit/discuss the other side of the coin.


Sometimes - more often than we like to think - having the baby, and keeping it, is the "selfish" choice. As an adult woman, I have seen this scenario to many times to count - there are thousands of selfish reasons to keep a child you can't care for, IMO.


And I'm heading off the adoption argument here, as well. Sure, in a perfect world, all unwanted pregnancies would result in a healthy, full term newborn being adopted by a wonderful family. But how often does that scenario actually take place? How many women do you know who can actually go through with it? The answer is not many. And thusly, sadly, there are unwanted babies born every day, who grow up to be unwanted children, and not properly cared for.


Anyhow, IMHO, it is far more selfish to bring a child into the world that you never wanted in the first place. Thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009

LMAO!

Nicely put :OD

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006

<>


That thought certainly did cross my mind.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Other than fulfulling our own wants is there to have a child?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006

"I know that it was definitely the most selfless option for her to give up the baby because I know it would've been a very rough life for him otherwise."

I just find it really sad that she was the one who had the rough life instead. It seems to me like in most of these situations girls like K *could* have been good moms with the proper support and guidance. I'm not against adoption, but I think it can be extremely harmful to the bio mom when the choice is essentially forced due to lack of other options.

100_0377
My Kiddo :)



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008

Here here...and having a bad childhood doesn't alway means you'll repeat the mistakes your


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009

I believe you are so beyond wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006

<

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003

<< Abortion is sickening and there is no way of justifying it, especially with something like that.>>

Luckily, no one need *justify* their reproductive health care choices with anyone outside their medical care professional.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009

Hi, and welcome to the board!

I'm very curious about your stance, and would love to discuss this more with you.

~Abortion is sickening and there is no way of justifying it...~

Is that your opinion in re: abortion due to rape/incest and medical emergency?

~noone should be denied the chance~

I gather then that you would never use or advocate for the use of hormonal birth control, which can also end the life of a z/e/f?

Please stick around and share with us a bit, thanks :)

For example, if you had a 12 year old daughter pregnant due to molestation by a family member, would you force her to carry to term, putting her life at risk? Or if you were me, would you have chosen to die along with your fetus rather than agreeing to an emergency therapeutic abortion?

Kate

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009

Really? Even if the mother will die without an abortion? Or if the mother is a 9yo girl who was raped?