having a baby you know will be sick

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2009
having a baby you know will be sick
34
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 10:49pm

First off I want to say I have always been in the middle of the abortion debate, on the fence I guess, not really knowing what I believe is right. I personally for myself do not believe in abortion so I choose abstinence. I don't however feel its my right to decide or judge someone else for choosing abortion. My question below is merely out of curiosity and trying to find understanding.

I was born with a rare genetic disease. My mother did not know this before I was born. I was diagnosed with it at age two but they knew something was wrong with me before. I spent most of my childhood and early teens in the hospital. It finally caused liver cancer and I required a liver transplant.

I have met others who have or had genetic illness and or transplant who want children so bad they are willing to risk their own lives as well as the baby and in some cases the baby is prone to getting the same disease as the mother. I don't want to judge so much as much as I want to know why? I mean, I get some people badly want to be a mother more than anything and thats natural thought, I can respect that and its basically up to that person to define what risks shes willing to put herself through, that being said....

I can't fathom putting my own life at risk to have a child and then getting sick again and possibly dying leaving that child without a mother and the father to raise it alone. To me that isnt fair. I also can't see putting a child through the disease I had. I am grateful my mom had me and I am alive but I don't want to see a child go through what I went through. Some would argue that, I should be happy my mother didn't feel this way...which that is true. She had wanted to abort me but something told her not to...that and my aunt was preggo too and talked her into keeping me so they could be preggo together.

Anyway, curious of your thoughts....thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Sun, 06-14-2009 - 11:46pm
I loved your story. That is how I feel too. I lost my grandmother a few weeks before my daughter was born and I always think maybe it's her reincarnated. Similar to how you think of your son and wonder about the daughter you lost. Also, I had a miscarriage (just spontaneous) and was pregnant with my son shortly after. Won't have him if that baby made it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 10:59am

I guess it depends on the sickness.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 11:22am

"I think if I were to become pregnant again and something were wrong with the baby that would significantly take away from time with my boys, I would not continue the pregnancy. My boys come before all else."

That's exactly how I feel. I would be incredibly sad to have to abort a wanted pregnancy for any reason, but I could never sacrifice the well being of my born baby boy for an embryo or fetus. The two are not equal at all, no matter how much I wanted that pregnancy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 2:04pm

Thread jack OMG your boys are getting so big!!

Normal programming resumes ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 2:28pm
LOL!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 7:50pm

I'm curious as to how you reconcile your claim that abortion is murder with the idea that you'd abort if the child would be severely disabled or significantly take time away from your others?


Also, what happened to, "If I knew a woman who aborted past 8 weeks, I would do everything in my power to make her feel like less of a human being," given that many conditions aren't diagnosed before 8 weeks?


ed. for brevity's sake.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 7:51pm
So adorable! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 8:06pm

I'm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 8:10pm

I am also curious as to your apparent change in stance re: abortion. Clearly, your stance now about aborting a disabled fetus is not in line with your earlier opinions about abortion. Would you care to elaborate on what changed your mind?

And, let me just say, that my singleton, 6.5 month old is running me ragged these days. I can't imagine having had 3 at once!! How old are your kiddos these days?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 1:44am

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Edited 6/26/2009 2:43 am ET by oh_kate