having a baby you know will be sick

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2009
having a baby you know will be sick
34
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 10:49pm

First off I want to say I have always been in the middle of the abortion debate, on the fence I guess, not really knowing what I believe is right. I personally for myself do not believe in abortion so I choose abstinence. I don't however feel its my right to decide or judge someone else for choosing abortion. My question below is merely out of curiosity and trying to find understanding.

I was born with a rare genetic disease. My mother did not know this before I was born. I was diagnosed with it at age two but they knew something was wrong with me before. I spent most of my childhood and early teens in the hospital. It finally caused liver cancer and I required a liver transplant.

I have met others who have or had genetic illness and or transplant who want children so bad they are willing to risk their own lives as well as the baby and in some cases the baby is prone to getting the same disease as the mother. I don't want to judge so much as much as I want to know why? I mean, I get some people badly want to be a mother more than anything and thats natural thought, I can respect that and its basically up to that person to define what risks shes willing to put herself through, that being said....

I can't fathom putting my own life at risk to have a child and then getting sick again and possibly dying leaving that child without a mother and the father to raise it alone. To me that isnt fair. I also can't see putting a child through the disease I had. I am grateful my mom had me and I am alive but I don't want to see a child go through what I went through. Some would argue that, I should be happy my mother didn't feel this way...which that is true. She had wanted to abort me but something told her not to...that and my aunt was preggo too and talked her into keeping me so they could be preggo together.

Anyway, curious of your thoughts....thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 3:13am

Yes, comments like this come to mind:


"Carry the child and GIVE IT UP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 4:59am

I think she's had a "penny drop" moment recently. Lemme see if I can find the post.

ETA: found it
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psabortdeb/?msg=4923.1




Edited 6/26/2009 5:01 am ET by mootoad2008
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 1:59pm

Your concerns are very legit. I beleive we are put here ( or chose to come here ) To learn from

Real SM's use Jazz Hands
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 2:30pm
Congratulations to your Sister-in-law!

"It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are."

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 7:02pm
Thank you!
Real SM's use Jazz Hands
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2009
Sat, 06-27-2009 - 5:15am

As i said in another thread, i wouldn't have a baby knowing it is sick.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Sat, 06-27-2009 - 2:34pm

And that is what recognizing our personal limits means. There is nothing wrong with that.


Perhaps the people who would judge such personal decisions and would not terminate and would do everything in their power to make one feel less than a human being for such decisions, should open their home to all these disabled children then and start caring for them.

Real SM's use Jazz Hands
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2009
Sat, 06-27-2009 - 3:40pm

Agreed. I've been judged befre on a different board for my opinions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Sat, 06-27-2009 - 7:11pm

Understood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Sun, 06-28-2009 - 9:34am
hope all goes well with her delivery, she must be a nervous wreck.
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