having a baby you know will be sick

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2009
having a baby you know will be sick
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 10:49pm

First off I want to say I have always been in the middle of the abortion debate, on the fence I guess, not really knowing what I believe is right. I personally for myself do not believe in abortion so I choose abstinence. I don't however feel its my right to decide or judge someone else for choosing abortion. My question below is merely out of curiosity and trying to find understanding.

I was born with a rare genetic disease. My mother did not know this before I was born. I was diagnosed with it at age two but they knew something was wrong with me before. I spent most of my childhood and early teens in the hospital. It finally caused liver cancer and I required a liver transplant.

I have met others who have or had genetic illness and or transplant who want children so bad they are willing to risk their own lives as well as the baby and in some cases the baby is prone to getting the same disease as the mother. I don't want to judge so much as much as I want to know why? I mean, I get some people badly want to be a mother more than anything and thats natural thought, I can respect that and its basically up to that person to define what risks shes willing to put herself through, that being said....

I can't fathom putting my own life at risk to have a child and then getting sick again and possibly dying leaving that child without a mother and the father to raise it alone. To me that isnt fair. I also can't see putting a child through the disease I had. I am grateful my mom had me and I am alive but I don't want to see a child go through what I went through. Some would argue that, I should be happy my mother didn't feel this way...which that is true. She had wanted to abort me but something told her not to...that and my aunt was preggo too and talked her into keeping me so they could be preggo together.

Anyway, curious of your thoughts....thanks


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 8:58am

Yes I had a "penny-drop" moment.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 9:09am


I can remember thinking how far you'd come ;-)

<< I don't believe abortions should be used at birth control, etc. But it's not my life.>>

And you'll find plenty of people who agree with you. Or want it as a last resort and would prefer better education and access to BC to make the need for those types of abortions less. I just don't think that legislation to make them illegal will stop them from occurring and I'd rather they be as safe and clean for the woman as possible.


I think having children can really help put another person's situation into perspective. The whole walk a mile adage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 10:20am

I am really glad that you not only had that "penny drop" moment, but that you're back here and talking about it!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 12:23pm

That's quite a change of heart, yes.

Having adopted someone with multiple disabilities who is wonderful, I do think she was meant to be, deserves love, etc.,