I feel guilty...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
I feel guilty...
10
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 12:11pm

I feel guilty.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 12:26pm

Don't feel guilty about this, hon. We're all saddened by your loss, but we're all also glad that you survived to tell us about it.

Even the Catholic Church would agree that you did the right thing.

Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 1:57pm

Just trying to empathize - I think that mothers who lose babies to SIDS or seizures or other uncontrollable circumstances also go through deep guilt, feeling that somehow they could have protected their little one. Maybe this is a normal part of grieving, wishing or feeling like you could have prevented this somehow.

Although it doesn't make the emotions disappear to hear it again, there are no behaviors that cause ectopic pregnancy. You didn't make this happen, and there was nothing that could have been done to save your baby.

Hugs.

Avatar for hydromommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 2:06pm
(((hug)))) Oh hun...this was NOT your fault...and you did not *kill* your baby...this was no more an abortion then a woman having a D&C afterr a natural miscarriage..your baby was in essence already dead because it was living in an environment where it COULD NOT SURVIVE. I hope you find peace soon. Grief is so hard, and guilt is one of it's many stages.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 11:16pm
I am PL and was in the same situation a year ago. The way I see it i was miscarrying all the doctors did was speed up the process. For yourself would you rather die quickly or slowly? That was really the only options your baby had. It is a hard place emotionally but I think you will eventually find peace with what happened.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 7:46pm
i'm so sorry. ~~hugs~~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 3:32pm
Just out of curiosity, do Catholic hospitals treat women who have an ectopic pregnancy? I know they are strongly pro-life, so I wonder if they do. I've heard of some religious-affiliated hospitals that refused to treat women who were having miscarriages, and refused to do D&C.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 3:48pm
The only treatment option permitted is to remove the portion of the fallopian tube in which the embryo embedded. I don't believe (and I could be wrong) that any other option is permitted.
Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 4:15pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 4:16pm
I agree 100% with you! (and my mother STILL wonders why I left the Church!)
Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 4:18pm
Yes they will (at least around here) their logic is that untreated both the baby and mother will die so they try to save one.





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