I had an abortion a week ago

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2006
I had an abortion a week ago
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 2:02pm

Well, I have always been pro-choice, and figured that if ever faced with a situation of an unwanted pregnancy, I would have no problem having an abortion. But then something happened, and now I feel terrible.

I was in a relationship that was going nowhere. He was abusive, and I was afraid to leave him. Finally, I worked up the courage to leave, thanks to my new partner, a wonderful man that has helped me through it all and is showing me what love really is. When I met him, I decided it was time to leave the other guy. So I did. It was awful, had to call the cops and even get a restraining order against him since he threatened to kill me (and I really thought he would). A week after leaving him, I had sex with the new guy. I hadn´t had a period in between, and guess what.... I got pg and didn´t even know who the father was!!!! I NEVER, EVER thought this could happen to me, but it did. I talked it over with my new partner, and he was afraid that if the baby wasn´t his, then what, and honestly, the idea of having a kid that was the other guy´s really freaked me out. So we decided to abort. Went to the clinic and first thing they did was give me a shot that makes the fetus´ heart stop. After that they did an ultrasound, and they told me I was 5 weeks along, which meant that it was my new partner´s baby. But it was too late, since the shot had been given. So I had the abortion, went home, and cried for two days.

I keep telling myself that I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 2:39pm


Ella Grayce

Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 4:57pm
I am sorry you are hurting right now. No advice but I would have done the same thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 6:29pm

That sounds like a really crazy, scary year you are having. Trying to escape from an abuser, and trying to lay the foundations for a new relationship even before you have started to lick your wounds, and now this!
I can only offer sympathy for all you have been through. As others have suggested, the Abortion Support board is much more suited to exploring one's own personal emotional/spiritual struggle, especially with all the extras you are handling right now.


I hope I'm not being insensitive but I'd really like to ask, if anyone can brainstorm about what kind of "shot" this poster could have been given that would end a 5 week pregnancy? I have never heard of this in the US or Europe or other nations. I have also never heard of any clinician that would consider giving medical treatment to a pregnant woman without scanning her first to assess dates. All abortion protocols are carefully tailored to the gestational age and would never be embarked upon without a dates assessment, at the risk of losing one's license. What did I miss?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 9:13pm

I am curious but are you the same darlinnikki who lives or lived in Spain and has two biracial children?

Someone with the same screenname used to post on other boards here at ivillage.

Just curious...

That aside, I hope you find peace with your decision.

Edited to add: I just checked your profile and you are the person i am thinking of! I am really sorry for your loss. It might be better for you to post on the abortion support board.

Edited 9/17/2007 9:15 pm ET by debbiemom2girls
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2006
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 6:14am
Yes, it is me. I haven´t posted in a very long time since I lost my job and didn´t have internet at home. Now at my new boyfriend´s house I have internet, so I´ll be around more often. Good to see you again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 6:16am

I am going to agree with the others and suggest a support board. So far everyone answering you has been very kind but we are an opinionated bunch of ladies and I am not sure how long that will hold up.

Wishing you all the best and hoping you find some peace


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2006
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 6:19am
Well, I
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 1:31pm

Probably the shot was your anxiolytic, a sort of pre-sedation such as valium which is often given IV, to make you feel relaxed after you clear the psychologist.

There are no medications they can give you in a shot that would end a pregnancy at 5 weeks. The only medication they can use to terminate a pregnancy in the first trimester works by dislodging it, sloughing the tissue, and the embryo is only killed by lack of support system after leaving your body - and they don't do any physical procedure when using mifepristone prior to 11 weeks, and I've never heard of it in an intravenous formulation. There are no shots at any stage of pregnancy which can be given to a woman in her arm that would selectively kill a fetus. Lethal injections used in late-term abortions must be delivered directly to the fetus (through the woman's stomach wall).

You must have been given conscious sedation, and then had an aspiration. That makes sense with the timeline you describe.

Sorry to geek out on you.
I hope you're finding peace in your new relationship.