"I wish I'd been aborted"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
"I wish I'd been aborted"
14
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 10:54pm

What do you say to something like that? Especially curious on PLs POVs.


Because there are days when I HONESTLY feel this way.


Between suffering from multiple (at times debilitating) disabilities (most likes as a result of my moms alcohol abuse that she denies).Being abused in various forms and levels as a child and adult by my parents. Seriously.


Ok long story short...as short as it can get.


In my mother's 8th month of pregnancy she was told I would be born severly hydrocephalic, and to have an abortion. In her 8th MONTH. Some days I really really REALLLLLLLLLLLLY wish she had taken them up on that because she was a HORRIFIC parent and still is...Ok maybe she wasn't as bad as david Peltzer (or whatever his name is) mom...but seriously. Between the neurological disabilites and the severe emotional abuse I recieved from her snd my father (when he chose to be in my life)...and just...ugh. Seriously.


For anyone who doesn't know what Hydrocephalus is it's excess cerebralspinal fluid in the ventricles of the brain. Some of the more lovely and common side effects are excrutiating headaches,seizures, memory issues(including forgetting words). I feel like there is a GIANT canyon between me and EVERY OTHER person in the WORLD and it SUCKS!!!!


My parents always played the field...on the outside everyone says what a *wonderful* mother I have and how she "put up with so much"...and it's like...If only they knew....but my mom is such a GOD in this family that she would twist everything and make me look like an ass and a liar (like she did when her boyfriend raped me).


Ok...so maybe this was better served in rants...but ya know It has to be said...some preople really just are better off aborting( and nothing anyone says can change my mind about this).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 7:37am

I would say sorry you feel that way but IRT the PL argument it doesn't mean a lot because your mother had no way of knowing in advance how you would feel about the issue.

I know plenty of healthy people who wish they had never been born and disabled people/people with chronic pain issues who love their lives. Without a crystal ball there is no way of knowing how the fetus will feel as a 20 year old so it doesn't have much bearing on the abortion debate

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 8:36am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 12:57pm

But without asking the fetus in question we have no way of knowing if as an adult they will feel living with abuse/disabilities/pain was worth it or not to be able to experience teh good things in life.

Not everyone who has a crappy life wishes they had never been been and plenty of people with OK lives feel that way so an individuals desire to have been aborted or not can not be known for many years so it is not something you can take into account when making the decision

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2008
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 2:42pm

I agree some people would do better to not become parents, whether by abortion or giving the child up for adoption.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 5:07pm

I can sympathize with how you feel....but I think we have to look past ourselves sometimes, as hard as that is.


Maybe your existence isn't about you...but about your children or future grandchildren?


I think about this stuff...if my grandmother hadn't survived the Titanic, my father wouldn't have been born...if he hadn't survived being a POW, I wouldn't have been born....someone in this line is meant for something great...is it my son? Or my future great great grandchildren? Don't know....but if I hadn't been born, whatever is supposed to happen wouldn't.


I'm sure my theories don't make your life any easier...but I so believe we serve a purpose, even if we don't know what it is....


Am I making any sense at all? LOL


(must be that time of year...It's a Wonderful Life is one of my favorite holiday movies.)



In my opinion, a horse is the animal to have. 1300 pounds of raw muscle, power, grace, and sweat between your legs - it's something you just can't get from a pet hamster.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 5:45pm

<> and this is my whole point and this is WHY abortion must remain safe and legal!


By placing limits on abort we create cases like mine and Casey Anthony. Abrotion needs to remain a safe, legal, shame-free option!!!!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 5:54pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2008
Mon, 12-08-2008 - 7:28pm

>>and yes...I'm in counseling...LOL this the much *nicer* me. ;)<<


I know what you mean...message boards are great for stress relief!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 7:55am

we all parent less than perfectly and anyone who thinks tehy are a perfect parent is probably ingesting an abundance of narcotics.

Some of us parent poorly because of the way we were raised, some of us do it because we were too busy listening to expert's to listen to our instincts and children, and some of us do it because we are trying too hard to be prefect and that just creates too much stress.

Whatever the reason we all screw up parenting but you know what? That's ok because our kids learn from our mistakes as well as our successes. When I loose my temper and yell at Ethan he learns that grown ups have bad days too, afterward I get to teach him how to swallow your pride and admit you screwed up.

As long as we are parenting from a place of love and respect I think our kids will survive our screw ups just fine.

I think your kids are getting the best BTW

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 1:53am
I've felt like that many times before. I can tell you that it can get better. Counseling didn't help me all that much, but medication made a huge difference in my quality of life.

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