just want to get my opinion out

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
just want to get my opinion out
132
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 10:55pm

I'm a 19 year old, pregnant pro-lifer. Everyone told me I would change my views if I were actually to get pregnant. Well, I got pregnant and had no thought of ever killing my baby. I was even happier to find that my boyfriend couldn't have agreed more. I feel that even if it were to be proven that the baby is not human at conception, there is still a life that will never be lived if the woman terminates the so called "fetus". I also don't understand how anyone can say that humans don't reproduce other humans. What else would we be reproducing- aliens? When birth control became mainstream, there were people that predicted a disrespect for human life, and that murder, divorce, and abortion rates would soar. And they were 100% right. If God is going to bless you with a baby that he has a plan for, who are you to throw that gift away? I know for a fact that if a pregnant woman in a panic could fast forward to her life in 5 years, she'd see that once she had her child, it would be impossible to imagine life without him or her. When women have abortions, no matter how many future children they have, they will always wonder, what could have been of the child they terminated? I'm not a huge religious person but anyone that believes in God has heard the quote, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you."

Anyways, I'm actually a member on other boards and don't like to be involved in many debates but I do like to get my word out. I respect everyone's opinion as long as they respect mine.




Edited 6/7/2007 11:13 pm ET by carmello87

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:36am

Welcome to our board~~I'm Samantha aka: Sam, 49, PC~~married, a woman, wife, mom,grandmother,sister.

The term fetus is the proper term to use for the pre-born. I've been pregnant 5 times, carried 3 to term, miscarried 2 (and both of those were after I had my tubes tied) and until you have lived even one day in my shoes, you can't tell me how to run my life. Nor can I tell you how to run yours. (nor do I want to) But I will tell you this: I will fight to my last breath to keep abortion safe & legal. And I thank God that I live in a state that voted their own RVW in to law before the federal one.

~Sam

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 8:28am

I'm glad you are happy with your choice. And on one point, I do agree with you. I had an abortion many years ago (and since then 3 healthy children) and I *do* wonder what would have happened if I had not ended that pregnancy. But I don't regret it. I regret getting pregnant before I was able to properly care for a child, but I don't regret the abortion. I don't believe God required me to give birth to a child I was not prepared to raise. And even when I wonder what might have become of my first child, I realize that if I'd made a different choice, I never would have been in the place I was when I met my wonderful husband, and I would not have the three children I have now. So I can't realistically wish away anything, good or bad, that happened before now.

I would never tell you or anyone else to have an abortion. But I'm grateful that I had the choice myself and I'll fight to protect that choice for others for as long as necessary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 8:46am

"I'm a 19 year old, pregnant pro-lifer. Everyone told me I would change my views if I were actually to get pregnant. Well, I got pregnant and had no thought of ever killing my baby. "

Good for you!! Aren't you glad that you were free to make your own choices about how you would handle this pregnancy? Aren't you happy that thier wasn't legislation forcing you to deal with YOUR pregnancy any certian way? This is what being pro-choice is about. Protecting YOU so that YOU may make the best decision for YOURSELF!!!! For many women being FORCED to remain pregnant agianst thier will would be just as HUGE a VIOLATION of personal boundries - as if someone had forced you against your will to have an abortion. Some women feel so strongly agianst pregnancy - that to them being forced to gestate - would feel the way you would feel if you were forced beyond your controol by the legal system to "kill your baby". It would literially feel like rape - and just the same way that you would do "anything" to protect your baby and continue your pregnancy(even if it means breaking the law) other women will fight the same battle to rid themselves of an unwanted pregnancy - even risk thier life to do so. These are personal prefrences. Neither is "more" right or "more" wrong. They are diffrent options for diffrent women who lead diffrent lives and have diffrent understandings of pregnancy and parenthood. Just because you made a personal choice to become a teenaged parent doesn't mean that EVERY women EVERYWHERE wants to fallow your exact life path - or that thier choices are invalid.

"I was even happier to find that my boyfriend couldn't have agreed more. I feel that even if it were to be proven that the baby is not human at conception, there is still a life that will never be lived if the woman terminates the so called "fetus"."

Thats great that your boyfriend is on board with your choice. Sometimes men can suck. They loose all controol during pregnancy, often feel thretened, and sometimes use threts and manipulations to get the upper hand on the mother - and force her to do what he wants her to do with her body. I am so relieve and happy that this is NOT the case with your BF.

I also wanted to point out that pregnancy DOES NOT automatically equal BABY. ANY given pregnancy MIGHT have a chance of ending in a live birth. Many pregnancy's are naturally expelled, miscarried, end in still birth, or fetal defect which requires termination or causes death in-utero. I believe that Pro-lifers have some crazy idea that pregnancy ALWAYS equals "baby". Nothing can be further from the truth. The truth is that any given pregnancy only has the POTENTIAL to result in a baby after a live birth. Many pregnancy's do NOT result in live births - and the good majority of "conceptions" (ie fettalized eggs) fail to implant and are expelled naturally through the body's natural cycles. Miscarriage happens in one in every 3 or 4 pregnancy's(I believe). Our bodies are expelling fertalized egg's, embryo's, and fetuses all the time. Abortion is nothing that doesn't already happen in nature. The only diffrence is that one act is a decision made by the mind after thought (abortion) and another is a decision made by the body naturally(miscarriage) - when the body decides that pregnancy is not in it's best intrest. They aren't so diffrent. The end result is the same. Thier isn't any suffering to a miscarried fetus - the same way thier isin't any suffering to an aborted fetus. They both just cease to "exist" with our ever even knowing that they did exist. The had nothing - they lost nothing. The potential for the future life of a "baby" is a moot point as that future life is NEVER a guraintee. Even the healthiest most problem free pregnancys result in fetal death - sometimes for no apparant reason. This is why thier is no life until after birth.

" I also don't understand how anyone can say that humans don't reproduce other humans."

Who said that?

"When birth control became mainstream, there were people that predicted a disrespect for human life, and that murder, divorce, and abortion rates would soar. And they were 100% right."

Please post statistics from a SCIENTIFIC (not religious or biased) source that backs up this claim....or else it will not be taken seriousley. Birth controol is birth controol and birth controol ONLY. It does not influence these other "evils". You can't blame the individual actions of millions of people on birth controol. What ever happened to personal responsibility? Someone murders someone else - BLAME IT ON BIRTH CONTROOL WTF? Twisted logic IMO. That being said birth controol was never NOT mainstream. Birthcontrool and abortion are NOT modern inventions. Both have been around as long as the human species. Mixtures of herbs and wild plants have always been used by women to prevent conception and induce abortion. Many hunter gather types gathered wild carrott seed - which prevents pregnancy by changing the lining of the uterous. Thier are a variety of herbs that have been taken for centuries - that retard the development of an embryo/fetus and induce the body into expelling it. Many holistic/organic type people still use these things TODAY.

"If God is going to bless you with a baby that he has a plan for, who are you to throw that gift away?"

First of all thier is NO "God"....Not for me....not for many women. If God only exists when you believe he exists (IMO god is NOT a physical thing that can be proven and relies totally on faith) then he does not exist for many people....and if he does not exist then his rules are invalid, moot, and irrelivent in a woman's decision making process. Pregnancy is not a GIFT. It is hard work. Someone doesn't just hand you a baby with out you having to do any work at all. Gifts are things that are given to you by others - things which you don't have to work for. Pregnancy is neither of those things. Pregnancy is a HUGE responsibility, and a TASK, which is HARD WORK. Pregnancy happens because of biology - because it's the way our bodies work - nothing more.

"I know for a fact that if a pregnant woman in a panic could fast forward to her life in 5 years, she'd see that once she had her child, it would be impossible to imagine life without him or her. When women have abortions, no matter how many future children they have, they will always wonder, what could have been of the child they terminated? I'm not a huge religious person but anyone that believes in God has heard the quote, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." "

Really, You know for a FACT, that every single woman in the world, who has ever or will ever face an UNWANTED pregnancy, will just love her life with her child? Hmm.....well maybe the fact that we have 500,000 children currentially awaiting adoption in the system is a direct factual disagreement with your little assumption. If every single person who ever became pregnant was cut out to parent - and would just love her life as a parent - then child abuse would NOT exist. Thier would not be 500,000 children languishing in an abusive system because thier parents DID wait the 5 years and simply couldn't or didn't want to handel being a parent. TAKE OFF YOUR ROSE COLOURED GLASSES!!!!! And unless YOU have personally interviewed EVERY SINGLE woman who has ever had an abortion, you have NO IDEA *what* they feel after an abortion. You have no idea what they think about. You simply have NO clue what they do go through. Just because you are pregnant - doesn't mean you know what EVERY pregnant women goes through. Oh and GOD did NOT form any fetus in the womb. If you have even a BASIC understanding of BIOLOGY you would understand that it is the WOMAN who forms the fetus in the womb. It's the woman's body that does all the work (after a bit of sperm is throughn in there) and the woman's body who forms, sustains, gestates, and births the fetus. No third party involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 10:02am

Who is god and what is a blessing? These are religious terms and not every shares the views that go along with religion. For me, conception, gestation and birth are biology and not miraculous.

If you want to allow your religion to guide your choices in life then I think that's great. No one is forcing you to have an abortion or even consider one. But your opinion and your religion don't belong in my life or in the choices I make for me and my family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:35pm

Welcome. I am Heather, 23, married, 200% Child-free by choice and happy about it, do not believe in God and 100% pro choice.

Why would I have an abortion? Simple, I do not want children. I do not believe "god" gave me a child, I believe an egg meets a sperm and a baby happens.

I do believe any pregnant person is carrying a human, I have never heard anyone say otherwise.

"I know for a fact that if a pregnant woman in a panic could fast forward to her life in 5 years, she'd see that once she had her child, it would be impossible to imagine life without him or her."
How exactly know this for a fact? I could see myself pregnant and 5 year in the future being miserable and wishing I had an abortion.

"When women have abortions, no matter how many future children they have, they will always wonder, what could have been of the child they terminated?"

At least for me, no. I don't want children, I have no interest in what it would have been or what life would have been like.

"Well, I got pregnant and had no thought of ever killing my baby. I was even happier to find that my boyfriend couldn't have agreed more."

That Is good for you and your BF. I have thankfully never been pregnant but if I do I am happy that both my husband and I agree I would have an abortion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 4:20pm

"I don't believe God required me to give birth to a child I was not prepared to raise."

I don't think God "requires" much of anything of us really...we have free will. He did not create us to be robots. That is what true love is...God's love. Agape love. Not requiring us to do something doesn't make not doing it ok.

I don't believe God requires any of us to give birth to a child we aren't prepared to raise...not even the virgin Mary...but I'm really glad she did.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 7:20pm

"I'm a 19 year old, pregnant pro-lifer."


Congratulations to you on your pregnancy!!!


"Everyone told me I would change my views if I were actually to get pregnant. Well, I got pregnant and had no thought of ever killing my baby. I was even happier to find that my boyfriend couldn't have agreed more."


Goodness! When I was pregnant all 5 times (3 M/C's (2 singletons, 1 multiple), 2 live births), I never had any thought of killing a baby either! However, that's not a "baby" in your uterus. Depending on how far along you are, that is either a zygote, embryo, or a fetus. Baby is a colloquial term. Calling something a name doesn't make that thing a name... If that were true, my husband would turn into a great big head composed of nothing but fecal matter (can you guess the colloquial term I use for him then?).


"I feel that even if it were to be proven that the baby is not human at conception, there is still a life that will never be lived if the woman terminates the so called "fetus"."


So,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 7:36pm

I don't believe the Bible prohibits abortion, that was my point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:13pm

Ok so I'm just going to give up on this board. People have twisted my words and thought. All I'm saying is that I believe at the moment of conception a life has been created and it is NOONE'S choice or 'right' to kill that life. The child has NO choice. It's funny that all of you pro-choicers WEREN'T aborted...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:24pm

chickie, it's a debate board. The people that linger here are nearly as enamored of the form of the debate as the topic, I think. Seems like everyone said they respect your opinion... personal opinions aren't debatable. And I'm pregnant too... I know how it is with the hormones and *everything* seems so crucially important right now, I just get teary-eyed over anything.
But if you have something debatable...that we can all dig into, on both sides of the issue, as we have on all threads. So let's debate an example from your most recent post:
"The child has NO choice."

*Should* the fetus's choice be exactly equal to the woman's?

Here's the relevant thought-exercise. If you were on the second floor of a burning fertility clinic and saw the flames advancing down the hall, forcing you into the last safe stairwell, and you only had time to grab one thing and leave... would you grab the tray of 1000 embryos or the one unconscious woman? (pretend she's petite enough you could carry her out).

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