Mens BC and a double standard

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Mens BC and a double standard
76
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 12:36pm

Recently we have become closer to the offering of a male bc pill.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 12:52pm

>can men who take bc use it's failure as an excuse to not be liable for any unplanned pregnancy or the resulting child?

Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 12:57pm

Very well stated, as usual!


"It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are."

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:18pm

Why should a man not have the right, especially when using bc, to walk away before the child is born.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:38pm

>Why should a man not have the right, especially when using bc, to walk away before the child is born.<


Because him walking away means a born child will not get the support he/she is entitled to. Because in the case of women who need assistance, that money will come from OUR tax money. That's why the law was crafted as it was in the late 1970s (yes, that recently)--too many men were walking away from their children and so many of those children ended up on welfare. Tell me which do you prefer--men paying for the babies they create or YOU paying for the babies they create?


>If a woman has to consent to mother - should not a man have to consent to father?<


Because one loses control of one's biological product once it leaves one's body. A man loses control of his sperm once he deposits it; a woman loses control after giving birth.


>It is a double standard - no way around that.<


No, it's not. Both are able to use whatever birth control methods are available to their gender. So, a woman has more choices than a man--that's just biological fact. Men can have abortions when men start bearing children.

The 3 Day

Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:40pm
Aw, thanks! It's just a compilation of what all of us have said all along. I can't take full credit for it. Please, pat yourself on the back for that too!

The 3 Day

Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:52pm

"Why should a man not have the right, especially when using bc, to walk away before the child is born."

He does, unless he is legally married to the woman (as you know, you can't just walk away from a marriage). Some do. But once that child is born, he is legally required to support it.

"If a woman has to consent to mother - should not a man have to consent to father?"

No, she has to consent to continue a pregnancy happening inside her body. Once that child's out, she most definitely does not have the choice to decide not to be a mother- at least not on her own. We've already established this.

"It is a double standard - no way around that."

Indeed, it is not. No man or other person should have the right to determine what I can/cannot do with my own body, even if he's had part of his inside it. It is not a matter of child support or custody; it is a matter of the choice to do with your body what you deem is best. For example, DH will have to have an arthroscopy (hopefully not an open surgery) sometime in the next year. His surgeon has given him the option of having a spinal block instead of general anesthetic. I'd like him to try the spinal because GA makes him so sick. He doesn't want to because he's afraid to be awake (even though sedated) during surgery. I obviously cannot make him do this, because it is his body and his decision.

There is no double-standard. Prior to birth, the z/e/f is fundamentally dependent on the mother's body, and is therefore subject to it. Afterwards, both mother and father have the same rights and responsibilities to the child.




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Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:59pm

I think men should be able to terminate parental rights if they chose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:32pm
And by loosing control over that product - especially when unplanned and guarded against with bc for men, don't they loose obligation and respnsiblity to the one who accepted and took over rights to that product - including the right to terminate or gestate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:37pm

Strike 2 bea!


I AM a woman - my two daughters will one day be WOMEN.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:41pm

ummm I said you were a woman.

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