more anecdotes ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
more anecdotes ...
11
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 6:07pm

I've been holding off on posting these, because they are so purely anecdotal and I've generally tried to steer away from posting other people's life experiences, but I feel they will stimulate some interesting discussion.

Here are a number of personal experiences gathered in 2000 from physicians, counselors, clinic administrators, and clinic escorts in North America, Europe, and Australia.

To protect their privacy, they are only identified by position and nation. Clearly, this makes it impossible to verify any of the particulars. So these quotes can only be posted to stimulate "what if" commentary or personal experiences from y'all posters.

Though I have never worked in a clinic, these stories are consistent with the testimony of friends of mine who have. And the Guttmacher studies do report that somewhere between 1/5 and 1/4 women getting abortions consider them wrong, nearly 1/5 are evangelical or born again Christians, more than 1/4 are Catholic.

"The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion"

"I have done several abortions on women who have regularly picketed my clinics, including a 16 year old schoolgirl who came back to picket the day after her abortion, about three years ago. During her whole stay at the clinic, we felt that she was not quite right, but there were no real warning bells. She insisted that the abortion was her idea and assured us that all was OK. She went through the procedure very smoothly and was discharged with no problems. A quite routine operation. Next morning she was with her mother and several school mates in front of the clinic with the usual anti posters and chants. It appears that she got the abortion she needed and still displayed the appropriate anti views expected of her by her parents, teachers, and peers." (Physician, Australia)

"I've had several cases over the years in which the anti-abortion patient had rationalized in one way or another that her case was the only exception, but the one that really made an impression was the college senior who was the president of her campus Right-to-Life organization, meaning that she had worked very hard in that organization for several years. As I was completing her procedure, I asked what she planned to do about her high office in the RTL organization. Her response was a wide-eyed, 'You're not going to tell them, are you!?' When assured that I was not, she breathed a sigh of relief, explaining how important that position was to her and how she wouldn't want this to interfere with it." (Physician, Texas)

"In 1990, in the Boston area, Operation Rescue and other groups were regularly blockading the clinics, and many of us went every Saturday morning for months to help women and staff get in. As a result, we knew many of the 'antis' by face. One morning, a woman who had been a regular 'sidewalk counselor' went into the clinic with a young woman who looked like she was 16-17, and obviously her daughter. When the mother came out about an hour later, I had to go up and ask her if her daughter's situation had caused her to change her mind. 'I don't expect you to understand my daughter's situation!' she angrily replied. The following Saturday, she was back, pleading with women entering the clinic not to 'murder their babies.'" (Clinic escort, Massachusetts)

"We too have seen our share of anti-choice women, ones the counselors usually grit their teeth over. Just last week a woman announced loudly enough for all to hear in the recovery room, that she thought abortion should be illegal. Amazingly, this was her second abortion within the last few months, having gotten pregnant again within a month of the first abortion. The nurse handled it by talking about all the carnage that went on before abortion was legalized and how fortunate she was to be receiving safe, professional care. However, this young woman continued to insist it was wrong and should be made illegal. Finally the nurse said, 'Well, I guess we won't be seeing you here again, not that you're not welcome.' Later on, another patient who had overheard this exchange thanked the nurse for her remarks." (Clinic Administrator, Alberta)

"We saw a woman recently who after four attempts and many hours of counseling both at the hospital and our clinic, finally, calmly and uneventfully, had her abortion. Four months later, she called me on Christmas Eve to tell me that she was not and never was pro-choice and that we failed to recognize that she was clinically depressed at the time of her abortion. The purpose of her call was to chastise me for not sending her off to the psych unit instead of the procedure room." (Clinic Administrator, Alberta)

"Recently, we had a patient who had given a history of being a 'pro-life' activist, but who had decided to have an abortion. She was pleasant to me and our initial discussion was mutually respectful. Later, she told someone on my staff that she thought abortion is murder, that she is a murderer, and that she is murdering her baby. So before doing her procedure, I asked her if she thought abortion is murder - the answer was yes. I asked her if she thought I am a murderer, and if she thought I would be murdering her baby, and she said yes. But murder is a crime, and murderers are executed. Is this a crime? Well, it should be, she said. At that point, she became angry and hostile, and the summary of the conversation was that she regarded me as an abortion-dispensing machine, and how dare I ask her what she thinks. After explaining to her that I do not perform abortions for people who think I am a murderer or people who are angry at me, I declined to provide her with medical care. I do not know whether she found someone else to do her abortion." (Physician, Colorado)

"In 1973, after Roe v. Wade, abortion became legal but had to be performed in a hospital. That of course was changed later. For the first 'legal abortion day' I had scheduled five procedures. While scrubbing between cases, I was accosted by the Chief of the OB/Gyn service. He asked me, 'How many children are you going to kill today?' My response, out of anger, was a familiar vulgar retort. About three months later, this born-again Christian called me to explain that he was against abortion but his daughter was only a junior in high school and was too young to have a baby and he was also afraid that if she did have a baby she would not want to put it up for adoption. I told him he did not need to explain the situation to me. 'All I need to know', I said, 'is that SHE wants an abortion.' Two years later I performed a second abortion on her during her college break. She thanked me and pleaded, 'Please don't tell my dad, he is still anti-abortion.'" (Physician, Washington State)

"The sister of a Dutch bishop in Limburg once visited the abortion clinic in Beek where I used to work in the seventies. After entering the full waiting room she said to me, 'My dear Lord, what are all those young girls doing here?' 'Same as you', I replied. 'Dirty little dames,' she said." (Physician, The Netherlands)

"I had a patient about ten years ago who traveled up to New York City from South Carolina for an abortion. I asked her why she went such a long way to get the procedure. Her answer was that she was a member of a church group that didn't believe in abortion and she didn't want anyone to know she was having one. She planned to return to the group when she went back to South Carolina." (Physician, New York)

"I once had a German client who greatly thanked me at the door, leaving after a difficult 22-week abortion. With a gleaming smile, she added: 'Und doch sind Sie ein Mörderer.' ('And you're still a murderer.')" (Physician, The Netherlands)

"My first encounter with this phenomenon came when I was doing a 2-week follow-up at a family planning clinic. The woman's anti-choice values spoke indirectly through her expression and body language. She told me that she had been offended by the other women in the abortion clinic waiting room because they were using abortion as a form of birth control, but her condom had broken so she had no choice! I had real difficulty not pointing out that she did have a choice, and she had made it! Just like the other women in the waiting room." (Physician, Ontario)

"A 21 year old woman and her mother drove three hours to come to their appointment for an abortion. They were surprised to find the clinic a 'nice' place with friendly, personable staff. While going over contraceptive options, they shared that they were Pro-Life and disagreed with abortion, but that the patient could not afford to raise a child right now. Also, she wouldn't need contraception since she wasn't going to have sex until she got married, because of her religious beliefs. Rather than argue with them, I saw this as an opportunity for dialogue, and in the end, my hope was that I had planted a 'healing seed' to help resolve the conflict between their beliefs and their realities." (Physician, Washington State)

"I had a 37 year old woman just yesterday who was 13 weeks. She said she and her husband had been discussing this pregnancy for 2-3 months. She was strongly opposed to abortion, 'but my husband is forcing me to do it.' Naturally, I told her that no one could force her into an abortion, and that she had to choose whether the pregnancy or her husband were more important. I told her I only wanted what was best for her, and I would not do the abortion unless she agreed that it was in her best interest. Once she was faced with actually having to voice her own choice, she said 'Well, I made the appointment and I came here, so go ahead and do it. It's what's best.' At last I think she came to grips with the fact that it really was her decision after all." (Physician, Nevada)

"We have anti-choice women in for abortions all the time. Many of them are just naive and ignorant until they find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. Many of them are not malicious. They just haven't given it the proper amount of thought until it completely affects them. They can be judgmental about their friends, family, and other women. Then suddenly they become pregnant. Suddenly they see the truth. That it should only be their own choice. Unfortunately, many also think that somehow they are different than everyone else and they deserve to have an abortion, while no one else does." (Physician, Washington State)

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Avatar for hydromommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 6:27pm

I am in great awe of the Hypocrites. This one's my favorite:


""A 21 year old woman and her mother drove three hours to come to their appointment for an abortion. They were surprised to find the clinic a 'nice' place with friendly, personable staff. While going over contraceptive options, they shared that they were Pro-Life and disagreed with abortion, but that the patient could not afford to raise a child right now. Also, she wouldn't need contraception since she wasn't going to have sex until she got married, because of her religious beliefs. Rather than argue with them, I saw this as an opportunity for dialogue, and in the end, my hope was that I had planted a 'healing seed' to help resolve the conflict between their beliefs and their realities." (Physician, Washington State)"


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Registered: 03-31-2005
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 8:15pm
Excellent post!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:24pm

I escort at a clinic...and many patients come in with their bible in hand...with their high school sweatshirts on..complete with the name of their catholic high school..with religious stickers on the car.

In high school I had a friend that was catholic.( I live in a very catholic city) Her parents had a God is Prolife sign in front of their house. When she passed out in gym class her junior year, her dad picked her up from school since he was a nurse. He brought her to the hospital he worked at to have a doctor look at her..since her ped had a wait. She was pregnant...and had an abortion in the hospital that day.

I really think "the only moral abortion is mine" is very fitting.

I on the other hand have never had one but fully support a woman (or girls) right to choose a safe legal abortion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 12:47pm
Gotta love hypocrisy.

Lori


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 5:30pm
Do you have more of these, or a link? I'd like to read more on the experiences of those working in the clinics with PL individuals coming in for treatment.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 10:21pm

that was the entire content from that particular author.

I found it by googling around terms like "why I provide" and "the only moral abortion", there may be a lot more around terms like "abortion provider stories". I was so startled by the experiences of my friend the clinic escort, and the few circumstances that my abortion provider professors shared (the two that don't work at a standalone clinic - the one that does didn't share)

William Harrison has been quite a prolific essayist about his decades of experience.

will look for more tomorrow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 1:39am

"I had a patient about ten years ago who traveled up to New York City from South Carolina for an abortion. I asked her why she went such a long way to get the procedure. Her answer was that she was a member of a church group that didn't believe in abortion and she didn't want anyone to know she was having one. She planned to return to the group when she went back to South Carolina." (Physician, New York)

This one I can really understand. Just because you are a member of a church group doesn't mean that you have to embrace all of their views, and seeing as how she was from SC there may not have been any church groups in the area that were a closer fit to her own beliefs. I would not blame her for not wanting to set herself to be a pariah among the people she likely counted on for support.

But the rest of them, holy hell! I could even understand if the abortion were needed for medical reasons, as that wouldn't necessarily conflict with their beliefs, but in many of those cases that didn't seem to be the issue. I really can't understand choosing to have an abortion then being hostile to the medical staff about it. When I was a teenager I considered myself pro-life, but if I had gotten pregnant my plan was to adopt the child out, and I really can't imagine changing my mind about that without changing my mind entirely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 12:12pm

Very interesting, thank you. These are good examples of the complete hypocrisy existing in the anti-choice world.

I don't understand how these people think it's ok that when it comes to THEIR own lives, they can make whatever choice is fitting but when it comes to OTHER people's lives, they can make one choice for that stranger and pass judgement all the way to their self-righteous high heavens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 12:19pm
I couldn't have said it better myself! Excellent post! :-)

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 8:22pm

,<<<<<<>>>>>>>

sorry but person stories are not accepted here as truth, it is only the way YOU see it...or at least thats what i was told when i gave testimonies of my friends and ppl i know...

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