My personal story...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
My personal story...
12
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 5:28pm

I recently lost my little girl after 17 weeks of pregnancy. I began to miscarry, but we decided that it would be in my best interest to speed it along and terminate before going through a full blown miscarriage.


My daughter had a cystic hygroma and was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome. We were given the option to terminate, but I had decided to do some research before making a final decision. Had she not decided for me, I would have terminated. There were a lot of factors involved with my health, and I was not willing to put my life in jeopardy to MAYBE deliver a sick baby.


What PL's don't understand is that MY health and MY body are put at risk when you have an at risk or complicated pregnancy. They won't be the ones to carry the child, they won't be the ones suffering from illness after illness, and they won't be the ones delivering a stillborn child. So it is EASY for them to decide what is best. I also highly doubt they would be the ones to step up and care for a high needs child - financially and physically. Everyone's situation is different. I do not condone using abortion as a method of birth control as some women do. Personally, that makes me sick. But as I said, everyone's situation is different. Some women feel this is best while other women opt for adoption. I often wonder how many of the PL protestors have adopted children, high needs or not. Have they adopted a child born from rape? And if they have, how do they explain that they are a product of HATE?


For me, my decision was difficult, but I felt I had to do what was best for me, for my husband, for my family, and for my child. Yes, TS children can have normal lives, but 98% of those pregnancies do not make it. Children with TS who have mild symptoms have different chromosomes, my daughter was completely missing one which really hurt her chances of survival. She also had the hygroma, which indicated a heart defect. And since I began to miscarry, it seemed as though her heart was the problem. Her heart rate began to slow when I went in the day before the termination. Nothing had been done for me at that point, but the ultrasound did show she was aborting herself.


I am thankful that I was miscarrying and the decision was basically made for me. But to spare her a life of hardship, illness, or to spare me and my husband the experience of delivering a still born baby, I felt termination was best.


No one has the right to decide that for me. No one has the right to determine my health care and how I live my life. I respect their opinion, but they have no right to cram it down my throat and FORCE their beliefs on me. PC people seem to be more level headed and do not behave in such irrational manners. PL seem to be too extreme and volatile. A fetus is not able to live outside the womb and therefore is not public property. It is still part of my body and I decide its fate. Not other people.


My body, my health, my life, my choice...

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 6:04pm

I'm so sorry you've been through so much.

 


Powered by
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 6:06pm

You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 1:22pm
*Hugs*
Photobucket 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 3:27pm

I want to send my condolences to you and let you know that you are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 4:57pm

Katie, I am so sorry for your loss and the decision that had to be made. It is the hardest thing a coupld can endure - no one should have to suffer the way we have. My heart goes out to you. It's so unfair that these things happen and no one can undertand the pain we have to endure. If we had a REAL choice, we would choose for this to NOT happen! If I had my way, my daughter would be healthy and still with us. It's not like I changed my mind and didn't want her anymore. What I didn't want was for her to suffer...


Thank you so much for posting that web site. I will look at it and join. At this point, I am reading anything and everything I can to help us heal... I keep hoping that she will be back once we decide to try again (which we will do as soon as we are able). To me, if it's another girl, it will be as if she just wasn't ready the first time.


Please email me any time you need to vent... I am here for you.


Sophia

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 8:41am

I'm very sorry for your loss and the awful choice you had to make.



I have three sisters and a brother. My mum had two miscarriages and a stillborn (7mo) little boy before my brother arrived. He was her last pregnancy.

baby siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Fri, 09-19-2008 - 1:18pm

I'm so sorry for everything that you have gone through.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 09-19-2008 - 1:27pm

I'm sorry for your lose. I have a friend with a dd with Turner's (this dd is 29) has had heart surgery, is very tiny but other wise ok. The TS wasn't caught until after the baby was born (extra skin on neck,hands & feet) sweet little girl.

~Sam

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 09-19-2008 - 1:33pm

Our family

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 4:27am

my pleasure. hope you didn't get your keyboard too wet ;o)

baby siggy

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