for only yourself

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
for only yourself
46
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 8:21am

If anyone wants to play along. Are there any reasons you would have an abortion yourself? What would be a deciding factor to you?

I am asking because along with PL's on this board there are PC's who are PL for themselves. We also have CFBC, TTC, pregnant, and people with completed families so I thought it would be nice to see how much variance there would be in the answers.

I would like to do this without attacking other peoples hypothetical choices but as I know that may not happen I completely understand people not wanting to partake.









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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
In reply to: misa101
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 5:23am

I would abort :



  1. If my own health was seriously endangered

  2. If my life was endangered

  3. If I had been raped

  4. If the fetus had irreparable and serious health issues.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
In reply to: misa101
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 6:13am
Honestly, at this point in my life the only situation I can think of is if my life were in real danger. Not a chance of danger or a maybe. But, if my life was in definite danger, I would aobrt. I would know what I was doing was completely wrong but I could not leave my girls. I could not leave them motherless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
In reply to: misa101
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 6:22am
I am sorry about your loss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
In reply to: misa101
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 7:55am

At this point in my life I would have an early abortion if I was told I had cancer or some other horrible disease and treatment needed to be started asap and the fetus wouldn't survive the treatment.

Ella Grayce

Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2006
In reply to: misa101
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 9:46am

I did abort because I was 13 years old and knew I couldn't have a baby at that point.


I am heading off to college in July and would abort now-Next summer(2009)becabecause the first year of my program is really important and I cant miss out.


I would abort if I was going to die/be left with a long lasting physical issue.


I would abort if the baby had a defect that would cause them pain.


I would abort if my child had a defect and it would take away from the rest of my family.


I would abort if I could not provide a life I saw fit for a child.


I would abort if having another child would hurt my current family.


And I would abort if raped.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
In reply to: misa101
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 10:19pm
If I thought carrying to term and giving birth would ruin my life, yes. Otherwise no.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
In reply to: misa101
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 9:51am

At this point in my life, I would abort for 2 reasons:


If I were raped. There's no way I would remain pregnant with any child that wasn't fathered by my husband. I am happily married with no intention of cheating, so the only way for me to get pregnant with a child that's not fathered by my husband would be rape. I would not hesitate to abort if I was raped.


If my fetus had some defect that my DH and I agreed we should terminate over. I can't say that defects that are incompatible with life are the only reasons we would abort because neither of us feels capable of handling a special needs child. I wouldn't just abort for any and every defect, and it would be a very hard and very emotional decision.


Right now I feel like I'm done having kids but I'm not 100% convicted of that feeling so I would consider a surprise pregnancy a sign from fate that I'm not really done, and would welcome that baby with open arms. If I became unexpectedly pregnant past the age of 40, I can say with almost certainty that I would abort. I can't even begin to imagine having a house full of teenagers and being past this phase in my life, and then having to start over.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: misa101
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 10:28am

~ LovelyButterfly, I am sorry for your loss. Pancreatic cancer is a particularly harsh one.

1) I would abort in the case of a serious risk to my health.

2) I would abort for non-correctable or painful fetal anomaly that I knew of. However, with my (currently 4 week old) daughter, I ended up deciding to not undergo any prenatal testing, understanding that I was choosing to parent whatever baby resulted from the pregnancy. When we chose to conceive this pregnancy, I was in a situation where I felt the risk was *so* low, much less than the error rate of the screening tests. I can imagine that in a later pregnancy, perhaps when I'm older, or if I have some environmental exposure that I cannot control, I may choose to do prenatal testing and perhaps act on the result. But not at this point in my life.
Also I now have responsibilities for my daughter, and any future pregnancy decisions need to be made with an eye towards protecting her interests. I now have more limitations on what is an acceptable time for me to be pregnant (not too soon, not during any truly significant upheaval in her life).

3) As a result of my career path, there will be phases of my life when I am in an environment that is unfriendly to the first trimester of pregnancy, when the developing embryo is most vulnerable. I will not keep a pregnancy that somehow manages to sneak past my contraception and implant in an unsafe environment.

4) I would abort in the case of rape, though I would certainly hope to be able to access MAP or other EC. And since I intend to be sexually active with my husband and condoms have too high a failure rate for me, I generally intend to be on contraception that would protect me anyhow. Except for right now, when I'm establishing my milk supply. :) Or when I'm TTC again. Hmm.

5) I could imagine if my parents or my husband got life-threateningly ill and needed me to provide care, that might not be a right time to be pregnant. Or it might very much be, as a healing symbol of the circle of life. But I'd have to be in that situation to be able to decide.

6) I'm a lucky person (with very little interest in clothes, eating out, new cars, or gadgets) and I've never felt severe financial pressure. So it's hard to imagine how I feel about abortion in the setting of severe financial constraint. I think I wouldn't.

Excellent question, Misa. It's been interesting and informative to read the answers - and this format seems to "de-fang" the defensive reactions some threads have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
In reply to: misa101
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 12:37pm
My boys are 15 and 10 (I'm 34)...I made the decision a while back to have a tubal when I hit 40, so only 6 years of possible pregnancy to go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
In reply to: misa101
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 1:16pm
ITA! I am deathly scared of becoming pregnant right now, with 2 kids under 2 already to care for, and I had the Mirena IUD inserted yesterday. My daughter is 8 weeks old, and lemme tell ya, it was a cold and lonely 8 weeks for my DH! Even with the green light from the doctor, I'm still nervous about having sex. I am so fertile that all I have to do is think about being pregnant and I am, so it's going to be a leap of faith. If I got pregnant right now, I would not be happy about it at first but I would also not abort. It would take me probably the whole pregnancy to get excited about it though.
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