OT - funny reproductive story

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
OT - funny reproductive story
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:18am

Just thought I'd share this for a giggle.

A friend of mine imported some live semen to breed her mare. Now, this is a calculated process - you have to track the mare to be sure you catch her when the follicle is ripe but not over-ripe.

So it was shipped overnight express.

She goes to the airport to pick it up.

"ma'am, we don't have that package. Please try the XXX desk."

She gets the runaround there. Gets sent to another desk. Yet another runaround, only to hear "we've lost the package".

My frazzled friend's response...at the top of her lungs...


Yes, she got some very strange looks. But horsewomen have no shame. LOL

(they did find it the next day and bred the mare - we'll know soon if she took.)


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:21am
LOL, thanks for posting that. I really needed a good laugh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:27am

Oh, that must have been funny! Did she even realize why people were staring?

Please let us know about the mare - isn't AI was much more difficult in horses than other animals?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:29am

Kind of like the cell phone conversation I was having with my vet at Target.

Discussing Mr. Stallion's manners.

Me: He was fine after I put the chain in his mouth.

Then comments about sperm motility and concentration.

All whilst purchasing bulk quantities of enemas and KY jelly.

I've become oblivious to the looks I get anymore. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:32am
Rofl! There's just something about making nosey people uncomfortable. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:36am

I'm sure after she said it, she figured it out - but she was beyond caring what people thought at that point. She did laugh about it later.


I don't really know comparitively to other species. I know it's very common in the cattle industry. And it really is common in the horse industry - just not with thorobreds being bred for racing. The Jockey Club refuses to allow it.

Embryo transfer has about a 50% success rate.

AI success rate would depend on the stallion's potentcy and the mare's reproductive health.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:37am

Ladies, for those with earthier senses of humor I would like to offer a little TMI about my own new experiences with sex and pregnancy (10 weeks). I'm sure this is old hat for anyone who's already a mom but it is so weird the first time around.
Yesterday, while making love with my husband, a particular position and movement caused my little uterus to move...pushing against my skin right under my belly button. At ten weeks I haven't been able to feel my uterus yet, on my own. No pain, it just felt totally weird. I mean, I felt it from the outside. It was like alien was going to come out (but no pain), or maybe my beloved suddenly got twice as *blessed* as ever and was pushing right through to my belly button. I mean, I could feel a little, very firm pressure moving in time with us, in a totally completely absolutely weird place.

Needless to say it completely distracted me from the mood. It was very very very cool in that "wow my body is doing amazing things" but seriously not sexy.

Okay, thanks for letting me share. I don't want to tell people that have to keep a straight face while talking to him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:50am

Ha! That's nothing! I SOOO have you beat in the funny pregnant happenings department.

A couple of weekends ago my husband and I were out shopping an outlet strip mall. It was hot, about 97 degrees and it didn't take long for my feet to swell and for me to get VERY uncomfortable. We decided to cut it short and made our way to the kitchen store where I KNEW what we needed from there.

Luckily no one else was within earshot inside the store.

I don't know if it's because I was so hot and uncomfortable that I relaxed a little too much or because the baby was pushing against things. But the next thing I know, I had farted totally uncontrolled IN PUBLIC! I was standing about 10 feet from my husband and he looked at me and with a grin (you know, that face boys of all ages make when bowel noises are mentioned) asked me if I was 'ripping velcro over there'. I swear, I couldn't stop laughing and had tears in my eyes.

I guess it's a good thing I can laugh AT myself!

Avatar for hydromommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 1:58pm

Hahaha OMG I LOL I LOVE having conversations that make nosy people question your sanity :D

but I SO have you beat on the funny pregnancy stories......

I was just about 4 mos pregnant with DD#1

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 4:42am


I was relating a story to a friend of mine in the hallway at work - my colleague walked past just as I was repeating the line: 'You can kill yourself for all I care!'

I had some explaining to do when I next saw him, lol!

baby siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 10:19pm

Very cute,I'm working at the local horse racing track (driving one of the track buses and after meeting some of the owners I could see that happening too)


~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.