Pregnancy and Murder

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Pregnancy and Murder
17
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 7:56pm

http://www.courttv.com/trials/peterson/090304_pregnantmurder_ctv.html

Since someone mentioned that while they were pregnant they had their life threatened, I though though this might be interesting fodder for debate.

2 things I found interesting from this article are:

"Of the 247 women who died while pregnant, homicide was found to be the leading cause of death, accounting for about 20 percent of the cases."

and

"Women should be even more cautious about getting pregnant with any man who exhibits a lack of concern for her happiness and well being, is manipulative, is a pathological liar, exhibits grandiose thinking, and has a history of dishonesty."

So what to do if you found yourself in this position?

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 8:07pm
I aborted when I was in that situation. My 2 year old daughter's life was far more important to me than a 5 week old embryo that was conceived while using condoms.

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 10:52pm

You displayed an immense amount of courage and I am sure the decision was not one you entered into lightly.

I find it interesting how those who have such strong opinions against abortion at all costs don't have anything to say when you get down to the nitty gritty of situations. It's so easy to preach against something and pretend that everything is black and white, when in fact, it is the farthest thing from black and white. It such a generalistic point of view that a particular act is wrong across the board. The thing about life is that there are always exceptions. Another thing I find interesting is the notion that those who choose or chose abortion just weren't educated enough to make a "better" decision. It is precisely because of being educated on our options and being the ones walking in our own shoes that makes us the expert on what is best for us mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 8:42am

Could you clarify your question a bit?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 9:02am
It's kind of hard to cut off all contact when you work together, he knows where you live, and he knows you're pregnant.

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 9:07am

Thank you very much. You're definitely right that my decision was not something I entered into lightly. It wasn't an easy decision seeing as how I was already a mother and knew the joy that having a child can bring. It was a decision that was cried over, prayed over, talked over, etc. numerous times.

However, when it came down to it and I received the third text message with the word "REDRUM" ("murder" backwards in it) I made the best choice for my family.

Thankfully, I have since found a new job, moved, and gotten a new phone number, however he still manages to contact me, mainly by emailing through my myspace page, but I know this is only a fraction of what our family's life would be had I continued the pregnancy. I'm not sure I'd even be here to write about it, actually...

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 11:22am

~~~Could you clarify your question a bit? What makes pregnancy by a mentally unstable man unusually dangerous (more so than just being with an unstable man in general) in your eyes? Do you think the man is more likely to murder his wife/gf if she's pregnant? ~~~~~

This pretty much sums it up.

http://www.endabuse.org/resources/facts/
Domestic Homicides

On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an intimate partner.16
Women are much more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner. In 2000, intimate partner homicides accounted for 33.5 percent of the murders of women and less than four percent of the murders of men.17
Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause18 , and evidence exists that a significant proportion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners.19
Research suggests that injury related deaths, including homicide and suicide, account for approximately one-third of all maternal mortality cases, while medical reasons make up the rest. But, homicide is the leading cause of death overall for pregnant women, followed by cancer, acute and chronic respiratory conditions, motor vehicle collisions and drug overdose, peripartum and postpartum cardiomyopthy, and suicide.20

~~~Or that being pregnant will make it harder to leave him?
Are you concerned that a psychopathic ex-boyfriend could win partial custody, thus putting him in a position to attack? ~~~~

Domestic Violence and Children

In a national survey of more than 6,000 American families, 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.28
Slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under age 12.29
Studies suggest that between 3.3 - 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.30

http://www.courttv.com/trials/peterson/090304_pregnantmurder_ctv.html

In 2001, Cheng and Dr. Isabelle Horon conducted a study in Maryland to determine the leading cause of death among pregnant women from 1993 to 1998.

Of the 247 women who died while pregnant, homicide was found to be the leading cause of death, accounting for about 20 percent of the cases.

"Women tend to think pregnancy is a safety zone, especially if they are already in an abusive relationship," Cheng said. "But what we're seeing is that no woman is safe from domestic violence or its most severe consequences."

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 11:31am

~~I doubt your assumption that pro-lifers have "nothing to say" in these cases. Try to imagine that you think abortion is murder. Why would you support committing one murder in order to reduce the chances (maybe) of a future murder? Should a woman be allowed to murder her one-year-old child by a psychotic ex-husband in order to cut off her last point of contact with him and keep herself safe? I think pretty much everyone takes the "generalistic" approach that that would be wrong.~~

A woman committing murder is just that, murder. Abortion is not murder. Therefore I support a woman's choice to end a pregnancy which has a very real chance of ending her own life or endangering her or born child. To make the assertion that it is just so simple to up and leave all you know, switch jobs and successfully hide from a predator is proof that you have never had a friend in that situation. In fact, it if the SOB was willing to harm your friend, and she was staying with you, what is to say that he wouldn't come after you or your children as well?

Furthermore, why should a woman feel obligated to bring term a pregnancy that does forever bind her to a man who has beaten her? To give the child up for adoption would require his signature. What happens if he refuses? Should the woman to disappear with a child in tow? If a woman chooses to do this, then I support her choice. I also support her choice not continue the pregnancy. Only the pregnant woman can assume the associated risks.

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2007
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 12:21pm

Your quotes show that it's dangerous for women to live with abusive/psychopathic partners.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 12:45pm

>What I don't understand is what that has to do with abortion. You seem to think that if a pregnant woman is trying to get out of an abusive situation, abortion will somehow help. Why? A homocidal man is not going to suddenly decide to leave his ex alone just because she's no longer pregnant.<

Her point is a legal issue. A man does not lose legal rights to his offspring for abusing the mother. If a woman "disappears" with said abuser's child, he can have her arrested for it. Having a baby whose father has abused her leaves her with a legal tie to the abuser. She cannot legally refuse the father visitation EVEN if he fails to pay child support. This leaves her in contast contact and control of the abuser. Many pregnant women choose to not permit their abusers that sort of control and have abortions.

font-family:Forte;color:#993300">Sandy



Christianity
neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law
12.0pt;font-family:Forte">. - Thomas Jefferson, letter to Dr. Thomas
Cooper, February 10, 1814

Sandy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 3:42pm
Precisely.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein

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