Prolly already asked but...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Prolly already asked but...
38
Tue, 07-07-2009 - 5:02pm

I've browsed a little bit and haven't quite seen a like post. So all apologies in advanced if I overlooked one that is the same.


For those who are Pro-Choice:


1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?


2. If so, which did you chose? And

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Tue, 07-07-2009 - 7:12pm

Hi :)


Prochoice:


1,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Tue, 07-07-2009 - 10:37pm

1.Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting? yes

2. If so, which did you chose? And did this affect or change your opinion (pro-choice or pro-life)? with my # 3 dd, I decided to carry the pregnancy--it was a unplanned one, I am pro-choice and would not have abortion at that point in my life. Right now I would have to have one because of medical issue.

3. If you have not had to make the decision, what makes you pro-choice? because I lost a cousin to an illegal abortion, and will fight to keep abortion safe & legal

4. Do yo think there should be limitations on abortions? none

Both sides, or even undecided sides:

1. If you known anyone that has chosen to have an abortion, how does that person generally feel about it? Guilty, thankful, etc. a niece, and she is fine

2. Do you look at them any differently if they are thankful for the option, or if they are regretful for it? Ie, if they wish they hadnt and would change things if they could, or if they are thankful they made the decision to do so.

3. Do you think that the father, if it is known who he is, has the right to know about an abortion, should he be apart of the decision process? If the mother does not want the child, but the father does, should she have to give birth and give the father custody of the child? If the father does not want the child, should he be able to relinquish his rights, all of them including CS? Vice versa for mothers? the father has no business opening his mouth as it's not his body

Bonus question for all, am I the only one that does not want to drive down the street with children in the car and having protesters shoving those pictures of aborted fetuses at the windows where the kiddos can see? Whats the benefit of a 4 y/o seeing that? none~~as I drive a head start/eceap bus, I got into with a protester and asked the stupid woman to at least lower her sign when I went past her 4 times a day, she refused (and I fought the urge to run her over with my bus)

~Sam

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 6:57am

For those who are Pro-Choice:

1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?

Yes.

2. If so, which did you chose? And did this affect or change your opinion (pro-choice or pro-life)?

I chose to have the baby and keep it. It made me even more PC. Everyone deserves the right to make their own reproductive decisions.

3. If you have not had to make the decision, what makes you pro-chioce?

4. Do yo think there should be limitations on abortions?

No.

Both sides, or even undecided sides:

1. If you known anyone that has chosen to have an abortion, how does that person generally feel about it?

Relieved and grateful. Another, sad at times but knows she made the right decision.

2. Do you look at them any differently if they are thankful for the option, or if they are regretful for it? No. I try to support my friends; not judge them.

3. Do you think that the father, if it is known who he is, has the right to know about an abortion, should he be apart of the decision process? No. Consideration is nice but not necessary.

If the mother does not want the child, but the father does, should she have to give birth and give the father custody of the child?

No, she shouldn't have to. What happens if the father changes his mind?

If the father does not want the child, should he be able to relinquish his rights, all of them including CS? Vice versa for mothers?

Yup.

Bonus question for all, am I the only one that does not want to drive down the street with children in the car and having protesters shoving those pictures of aborted fetuses at the windows where the kiddos can see?

I think they're revolting.
Whats the benifit of a 4 y/o seeing that?
None.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2009
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 9:08am

1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?

- Yes. Once when I believed my cousin's grandchild was being neglected. And when I found out that I was pregnant.

2. If so, which did you chose? And did this affect or change your opinion (pro-choice or pro-life)?

- I was not able to adopt (we found her bio father) and I chose to have a baby. It made me more pro-choice, as I understood the implications of the responsibility that full term pregnancy is. Like marriage, it should always be consentual.

4. Do yo think there should be limitations on abortions?

- I think that the restrictions that the medical community puts on it are sufficient. They don't do abortions on late term healthy pregnancies, they inform patients on the medically confirmed risks, and are trained to determine signs of distress and hesitation in patients towards procedures or conditions.

Both sides, or even undecided sides:

1. If you known anyone that has chosen to have an abortion, how does that person generally feel about it? Guilty, thankful, etc.

- I have known several. They have been thankful, relieved as well as sad to have been pregnant at a time when they were not ready for a child, or another child.

2. Do you look at them any differently if they are thankful for the option, or if they are regretful for it? Ie, if they wish they hadnt and would change things if they could, or if they are thankful they made the decision to do so.

- I look at them as I would friends who have made decisions to end an intense or longterm relationship that was not right for them. There are various emotions involved, even though it was the right decision for them, and I understand why. I'm not going to tell them that they should not cry or grieve a loss.

3. Do you think that the father, if it is known who he is, has the right to know about an abortion, should he be apart of the decision process?

- I do not believe that a woman should be forced to tell the man. This would lead to women going to illegal providers - especially if the man is controlling or abusive. His right to know about her pregnancy does not supercede her right to privacy. If the relationship involved trust, respect and support, then there is no reason for the man to fear being left out of the decision.

If the mother does not want the child, but the father does, should she have to give birth and give the father custody of the child?

- Custody is the decision of the relinquishing birth mother, and since she is the one with the most emotional, spiritual and physical investment in the baby. This is appropriate, unless there is evidence that she is not mentally capable or fit. I think that children are not property to be claimed simply on the basis of DNA. If the woman chooses to tell the father, then he should be able to ask for custody, and unless there is evidence that he is mentally capable or fit, he should be first in line. However, there may also be grandparents wanting custody, and that needs to be taken into account as well - if DNA is to be a factor in custody.

If the father does not want the child, should he be able to relinquish his rights, all of them including CS? Vice versa for mothers?

- Children must be supported. In the absence of state support for a child, the biological parents are the ones responsible financially for the child, if they are able. They are allowed to find someone else to take over that responsibility if they don't want it. The State will take on some of the load if the parent cannot. To require financial support from someone is not the same as requiring them to become a parent to that child. Or forcing someone to give birth against their will.

Bonus question for all, am I the only one that does not want to drive down the street with children in the car and having protesters shoving those pictures of aborted fetuses at the windows where the kiddos can see? Whats the benifit of a 4 y/o seeing that?

- There is no benefit whatsoever to their cause with this kind of pornography. (yes - by definition it is pornography). Shock value is the last resort of those that have no intellectual tools or arguments to present their issue. It shows that they think the rest of the world is as reactionary and incapable of reason as they are. And the fact that they have often have children carrying those nightmare-inducing signs (when they would likely NEVER allow that child in a delivery room to see a birth) shows me that they truly are clueless as to responsible parenting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 9:36am

I've browsed a little bit and haven't quite seen a like post. So all apologies in advanced if I overlooked one that is the same.


Don't apologise, we haven't had a Q&A like this for a while :o)


For those who are Pro-Choice:


1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?


Sort of. My son was deliberately conceived and gestated through choice. If he had tested high risk for Downs or had any other major abnormalities, I would have aborted.


2. If so, which did you chose? And

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 1:19pm

For those who are Pro-Choice:

1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?

With my last pregnancy, I was 37 yrs old, so we had an amniocentesis with the intent to terminate if there were any genetic anomalies discovered. However, each of my pregnancies were planned and deliberately conceived, so in the absence of fetal or health issues, we did not consider abortion.

2. If so, which did you chose? And did this affect or change your opinion (pro-choice or pro-life)?

3. If you have not had to make the decision, what makes you pro-choice?

Living through 6 pregnancies, 4 c sections, gestational complications (ranging from bleeding, pre-term contrax to PROM at 32 wks necessitating a month of hospitalization), and having a child with severe disabilities.

4. Do yo think there should be limitations on abortions?

I'll concede to abortions only for fetal defect/health and health of the woman after 26 wks.

Both sides, or even undecided sides:

1. If you known anyone that has chosen to have an abortion, how does that person generally feel about it? Guilty, thankful, etc.

Out of the 5 I know well, only one has regrets. The other four do not. One had both an abortion and one adopted out and she regrets the adoption more than the abortion and wishes she had aborted that one instead.

2. Do you look at them any differently if they are thankful for the option, or if they are regretful for it? Ie, if they wish they hadnt and would change things if they could, or if they are thankful they made the decision to do so.

No. I DO look at people who don't think things through, go on to regret and waste a good portion of their lives on that. Move on. Deal.

3. Do you think that the father, if it is known who he is, has the right to know about an abortion, should he be apart of the decision process? If the mother does not want the child, but the father does, should she have to give birth and give the father custody of the child? If the father does not want the child, should he be able to relinquish his rights, all of them including CS? Vice versa for mothers?

NO. Here's why: (copy/paste of 10 Most Popular Posts, LOL!)

<

Regrettable it may be that he does not have this veto power, and unfair it may seem- as long as the continuation or termination of a pregnancy directly impacts the woman's body, the only choice will be hers. So as a woman bears the brunt of the health & physical risks, she will be challenged to make the ultimate decision.

She MOST EMPHATICALLY has EVERY right to abort- even in the case of disagreement with the man. When the man grows a uterus and may gestate & give birth, then, and only THEN, does his vote actually weigh more than the woman's.
Face it: if a woman is pregnant, and there is a disagreement between the man & the woman as to whether to continue the pregnancy or have an abortion, there can NEVER be a fair & equitable solution. Never. In either option, one person's choice supersedes the other. In NO WAY should the winning vote come from the person whose body is NOT being used, whose body or life is NOT assuming the inherent short-term, as well as long-term, physical & psychological risks of gestation and birth.

While I feel empathy for any man in this situation, that empathy will NEVER outweigh my firm and unequivocal conviction that the woman, and the woman ONLY, must be the one who makes the final choice in the course of a pregnancy.>>

Bonus question for all, am I the only one that does not want to drive down the street with children in the car and having protesters shoving those pictures of aborted fetuses at the windows where the kiddos can see? Whats the benifit of a 4 y/o seeing that?

I agree. I wouldn't let them watch a vaginal birth- nor a c section, D & C or the death of a woman due to hemorrhage either.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 1:28pm

Thanks for posting these questions.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 11:04pm

1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?

I can't really say as I have, since I've been pretty careful with my sex practices and the only time I got pregnant was deliberately.

2. If so, which did you chose? And did this affect or change your opinion (pro-choice or pro-life)?

N/A

3. If you have not had to make the decision, what makes you pro-chioce?

I am PC because the government has no business making medical decisions for people. I wouldn't want them to legislate away people's ability to have other necessary procedures, either.

4. Do yo think there should be limitations on abortions?

No, I think there should be no legal limitations on abortion. Again, it is a medical procedure that government has neither the experience nor the knowledge to effectively legislate.

Both sides, or even undecided sides:

1. If you known anyone that has chosen to have an abortion, how does that person generally feel about it? Guilty, thankful, etc.

Probably people I know have had an abortion at some point (although I'm realizing that a have a ton of LGBT friends and it might not be an issue for them), but I don't know anyone personally who has had one and told me about it.

2. Do you look at them any differently if they are thankful for the option, or if they are regretful for it? Ie, if they wish they hadnt and would change things if they could, or if they are thankful they made the decision to do so.

I would probably have a different opinion of someone who had an abortion and then, say, became a rabid pro-lifer, but otherwise I really don't care. It's none of my business.

3. Do you think that the father, if it is known who he is, has the right to know about an abortion, should he be apart of the decision process?

Only if the woman chooses to include him, and then it's her prerogative.

If the mother does not want the child, but the father does, should she have to give birth and give the father custody of the child?

Heavens, no. We are women, not brood mares.

If the father does not want the child, should he be able to relinquish his rights, all of them including CS? Vice versa for mothers?

No. The reason why women get to make the decision to have/not have a child after they become pregnant is not to make things unfair, but because they are the only ones who can experience the physical risks inherent in all pregnancies. I already think that men get off far too easily when it comes to unexpected pregnancies, and I think that allowing them to relinquish their responsibilities to the infant puts women back into the position of essentially being the sexual gatekeepers.

Bonus question for all, am I the only one that does not want to drive down the street with children in the car and having protesters shoving those pictures of aborted fetuses at the windows where the kiddos can see? Whats the benifit of a 4 y/o seeing that?

Yeah, I don't like them either.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 8:12am

1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?


Yes.


2. If so, which did you chose? And

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 8:52am

For those who are Pro-Choice:


1. Have you had to make a decision on abortion/adoption/parenting?
2. If so, which did you chose? And

 


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