should bf pay for it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
should bf pay for it?
18
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 8:38pm

After I found out I was pregnant over a week ago, I've decided that I should get an abortion because I don't really have the time or money to take care of a baby. If I tried, it's possible that my life could fall apart from lack of sleep and overworrying, or I could very well succumb to my chronic depression beyond repair or safety, endangering my life, and my child's life.

My cheapskate boyfriend has said he'll be happy whether or not I decide to keep him, but how do I get him to help pay for the abortion. After all, he removed the condom during sex and didn't pull out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2006
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 9:53pm
I'm not sure if you wnat my opinion on the topic or your situation...On the topic if the women and man both wnat the abortion then they could split the cost. They both wanted to have sex and both wnat the abortion so they can split it. If the man however doesnt want the women to abort then she should pay for all of it. And if the the man wanst the abortion more than the women then he should pay for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 2:35pm

I don't know if the abortion debate forum is the best place for you to post this question. This is....of course....a debate forum....not a support forum. You may have better luck at the abortion support forum - under the health section of the ivillage forums. There are many very knowledgeable and supportive woman on that forum who can be of better help to you as you come to grips with this decision. Good luck!!!

As far as if your BF can be held legally accountable for the cost of the medical procedure....I am going to have to say no. Your boyfriend has no responsibilities for your medical bills...legally. It is ONLY AFTER birth that a man becomes a legal father with legal responsibilities....a man has no legal responsibilities to a fetus - or any medical bills involving a fetus. Morally - I would agree that it might be the right thing to do if your BF is supportive of the decision. It is the right thing to do if your BF is willing to take responsibility for his part in the need for the procedure.....but legally thier isin't a way to force him to pay for an abortion.....anymore then there is a way for a man to force the woman to abort or gestate.....a man simply has no rights or responsibilities in the matter of a fetus or pregnancy (until birth).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2005
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 9:51am

Why should he have to pay?

You chose to have sex with him. If you didn't want to take the risk of a possible pregnancy, shouldn't you have taken some responsibility for birth control yourself instead of relying on your BF?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 10:18am

Huh? Why shouldn't he pay half of it?

So, it is no longer the mans fault at all?

These statements drive me nuts. When-o-when do women stop doiing this crap to themselves? It is all the woman fault she got pregnant...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2005
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 11:04am

Because it's a medical decision and her BF is not responsible for her medical bills. He doesn't want her to abort, so why should he pay for it?

Is a woman responsible for paying for 1/2 of the BC that a man chooses?

Did I say that it wasn't his fault that she got pregnant? I don't think so. What I said was that if she didn't want to risk a pregnancy, she should have taken precautions herself. She has the right to make whatever decision she wants concerning her body however, the BF is not financially responsible. Would it be the right thing to do? Maybe but I don't think that he should be expected to pay for a medical procedure for someone else.

Do you feel that a man should be responsible if his GF went off her BC without letting him know?

>

In this case, she didn't assume any of the responsibility to prevent a pregnancy. Instead, she relied on her BF to use a BC option that has an 11% failure rate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 11:29am
Since he was partially responsible for the pregnancy, he should help with at least some of the bill. Also, I'm guessing it was his idea to take the condom off. Is he unwilling to pay because he doesn't want you to get an abortion or because he doesn't want to PAY for you to get an abortion? If the money is the problem, does he realize he would owe you child support if you were to continue the pregnancy? He's going to end up putting in some amount of money either way.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2007
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 2:54am
well... i would have to agree he has no LEGAL responsibility to pay anything for the abortion... would it be morally right YES and i also think that you should have taken the proper steps to prevent this problem from happening in the first place if he doesnt want to pay for it then i would suggest you find other means of paying for it yourself
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 12:30pm
Why should help pay? It is your decision to have the abortion, not his. He doesn't get a choice in whether or not you keep him, but he would have to pay if you did, so he should help you pay to end the pregnancy because you don't want to be pregnant? Women don't want their man to make decision's regarding their body, yet they will take their money in order to follow through on that decision?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 12:07am

Great post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 8:17pm
thanks :)

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