Society needs to treat the Causes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Society needs to treat the Causes
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 3:29pm
... instead of the symptoms. Abortion is a symptom of larger social problems such as the high cost of birth control, lack of quality sex ed., and many other factors. I am pro-choice, but would never ever want to get an abortion. And it angers me to no end that many politicians will get on their soap boxes lecturing on the evils of abortion but won't give one thought or dollar toward eliminating the causes. The solution to abortion is to stop unwanted pregnancies in the first place...

and in my opinion society does not give women, esp. young and poor women, enough tools to do this.

Birth control pills are extremely expensive. You can't even get the pill without an expensive yearly exam. Most insurances don't cover the whole amount of the pill if any.

Sex education for young adults is extremely lacking. I read the thread below about rape, and saw how some people blamed the victim for placing herself in a dangerous situation. Well, someone needs to teach teenagers how to recognize dangerous situations and parents can't always do it well enough because they're too emotionally involved. Or they have no clue what they're talking about! I was myself a victim of date rape, at the age of 18, I was a virgin and I had been taught to avoid dangerous situations like bars and dark alleys. But I didn't expect my own boyfriend to rape me when I had told him I wanted to wait until marraige and he agreed! He even praised me for that choice! Only to attack me one day when I did not expect it and was not strong enough to escape. We need to talk more with teenagers about how rape can take many forms and it's not always the drunken stranger that attacks you. Thank god I did not get pregnant but what if I had?

Also the morning after pill needs to be over the counter.

If society does its part to prevent unwanted pregnancies, then we will see abortion drastically decrease. But all I see is politicians blaming the victim- the women who really don't want to go through a horrible and tramatic experience as abortion but ended up in that horrible situation.

Instead of fighting each other I think women should band together to cut off this social problem at its source- the problem we can all agree on, whether PL or pro choice, is unwanted pregnancies. Society is just NOT doing its part to stop them, and really needs to change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 3:39pm
I completely agree with you, however many of the PL themselves are against open, easily available sex education in schools. A friend of mine underwent an abortion. She was extremelly naiive and the reason is because she never got the "birds and the bees" talk becuase her parents were strong catholics and all that was taboo, to make matters worse, we were both attending to the same school, a catholic school wich had really strong views against abortion, showed a very sensationalistic video about abortion, and never had any type of sex ed whatsoever. To make matters worse, they preach taht all bc forms are evil and "abortifacients". To this day, her parents still dont know she had an abortion. IMO, the whole situation is very hypocritical.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 3:48pm
I was very naive too, and I also went to Catholic school until I was 10. I loved it but it kept me very innocent. I actually think that was good but unfortunately it's not an innocent world and sometimes a naive person can be a lamb in the den of wolves. I was.

My public school didn't have sex ed either. We had one hour(!) of sex ed that basically scared me about Aids but I had already decided to wait until marraige, so I didn't really think any of it applied to me. They didn't mention rape once.

Going back to the date rape issue, some people said a girl shouldn't put herself in that situation but the truth is, if you trust people and you're very young (in other words inexperienced) how can you see the situation until it's too late? My mom taught me all about rape and safety but I had this idea in my head that rapists were all strangers and would try to get me drunk, etc. It's not my mom's fault because, she was not an expert on rape (thank god!) but no one, not one teacher or adult, ever taught me about date rape and how someone you trust can hurt you. I really don't think there was any way for me, a very innocent teenager, to know people could be that evil. How could I know? People try to shelter kids, but that won't protect them when they walk into bad situations. I know this is kind of off topic but it's worth saying.

Edited 6/17/2003 3:51:12 PM ET by ladytaura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 4:26pm
It's absolutely worth saying and it IS on topic. I am a single mom to a 6 year old daughter and she already knows quite a bit about her body, inside and out, the right names for body parts and that no one should ever touch her in a way that makes her uncomfortable. I also have her learning martial arts.

Do I want her be untrusting? Of course not but I *do* want her to know that she has the right to protect herself. At a party an adult friend of ours (a gentle man who is a good friend) reached out to grab her and she turned around and said "I know karate!" Yee-ha!

The whole situation was a joke but I was glad to see the instinct there.

I am sorry you had to go through that. Innocence is wonderful but there *HAS* to be an awareness of the world around you and what can happen and people that put their children in a bubble to protect them are just doing more harm.

Anyway, our daughters need to be empowered to protect themselves and make wise choices.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 12:48pm
This is the post I've been wanted to respond to. I totally agree with everything that was said. I'm willing to bet there would be less abortions if people were more educated and if birth control wasn't so damn expensive. People are so worried about the wrongs of abortion and trying to make it illegal that they forget that everything is cause and effect. Nothing just appears out of nowhere.

However, even if these problems are corrected, i don't think it would be ok to make abortion illegal. It should always be available, but to have the numbers go down would make the PL side happy. Making abortion illegal can't possibly do that, it will only lead desperate women into the back alleys to do things the old fashioned way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 1:43pm
I'm a little confused, "to have the numbers go down would make the PL side happy" . . . well yes, less would be better than more, but for it to be condoned at all would still be a wrong as far as I'm concerned.

As for sex ed, I'm all for it. I don't think it makes people want to have sex any more than they already do, and I think misinformation about sex is extremely damaging. Plus I personally think that treating the act of sexual intercourse itself as sinful (so we have to be hush-hush about it) is sort of blasphemous. I think sex *can* be a sin depending on the circumstances but within the bounds of a marriage, there's nothing sinful about it at all and to suggest otherwise is just plain wrong IMO. Sorry to go off on a religious tangent but the thread already had a religious flavor so . . . -- Kao