Take a deep breath!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Take a deep breath!
329
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 12:34pm
As you sit reading online I take it you cannot possibly dead. So I guess the question is how can someone who is alive be

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 11:54am

"

Ella Grayce

Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 11:56am
But don't you think that by allowing men to opt out of parenthood legally we would be increasing the number of abortions drastically?

Ella Grayce

Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 12:02pm

"But don't you think that by allowing men to opt out of parenthood legally we would be increasing the number of abortions drastically?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 1:33pm
I don't, actually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:19pm

"I don't, actually.

Ella Grayce

Lilypie1st Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:30pm

"Maybe it would make women think of who they are having sex with before they do it."

Yes, because men are not supposed to have any self-control, right? It's all the woman's responsibility, right? Tell me, if the woman is exclusively responsible for preventing sex-related consequences, then why is it that there is only one form of barrier that the female can use on herself that prevents STI's? And it's not terribly effective, either.

This is the same argument that was used in courtrooms for years to shrug off rape cases. The woman should have known better than to go on a date with that guy; say those things; wear that dress.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:36pm

"Just as the current laws allow women to abort a child that they do not want."

Unless the man decides that he does not want the child after 24 weeks. Remember, abortion has some serious restrictions after that.

I suggest that you try telling this to the five or so women on my EC whose boyfriends/SO's/husbands abandoned them sometime mid-pregnancy. None of those men had indicated that they did not want the child, just decided later that they couldn't handle it and bailed.

Laws like the ones you propose just encourage this behavior because it tells men that there are no consequences of having sex for them, unless they are unfortunate enough to get an STI by not using protection.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:40pm

"It's all the woman's responsibility, right?"

No, it should be the man's as well. It takes two to have sex and two to make a baby but only one person has to carry that baby for 9 months. When I was not 100% sure my BC was ok because of medicine or something else I was darn sure not to have sex if I thought I could get pregnant. I rely on ME to keep myself safe and protected.

I did not want to put myself it the position that might result in giving me a child so I didn't have sex. A man shouldn't either.

Both sexes should be more selective and careful with whom they sleep with and then maybe we would not have women getting pregnant and men running off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:43pm

"Unless the man decides that he does not want the child after 24 weeks. Remember, abortion has some serious restrictions after that.

I suggest that you try telling this to the five or so women on my EC whose boyfriends/SO's/husbands abandoned them sometime mid-pregnancy. None of those men had indicated that they did not want the child, just decided later that they couldn't handle it and bailed."

A women could also decide she does not want a child and give it up after 24 weeks but that is legally fine to do.

I 100% believe men should be able to sign over their rights to a child they do not want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:47pm

"Both sexes should be more selective and careful with whom they sleep with and then maybe we would not have women getting pregnant and men running off."

ITA! The only problem I have with your argument is that you remove all legal restrictions and responsibilities from men as a consequence of having sex, but leave the same physical and legal restrictions for women.

If a woman gets pregnant, and she does not miscarry, she must either have an abortion or carry the child to term. Those are the only two choices, but she loses one of them at 24 weeks in the U.S. Either one is a direct, serious physical consequence to having had sex. I have never had an abortion but I know what a D&C and a D&E entail and I'm pregnant right now, and neither is either pretty or easy.

What consequence do men have for having had sex, according to your recommendation? Or do you believe they should have none?




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